The New Journey Begins........More Talk and A Little Shift....

Part One

Maybe a month after we made the deal to trade the Arabian horse for training, BG told me there was an inquiry for a young western horse. That grew from an inquiry for one horse into an inquiry for two. The buyer was the sister of a woman with a horse that had been misused by a BNT.

According to BG this woman was sending that problem horse to BG after Scottsdale 2009 to work out his issues. She was going to pay an entire years' board and training, along with extra money for incidentals like vet care etc, right up front. That's how much she trusted BG to do what the horse needed AND it also spoke to how rich this woman was in the first place that she could even afford to make such an upfront payment.

BG weilded this woman's intent to send him a horse like some kind of proof of BG's skills as well as what he and WF could do for me with such connections. Now, after BG and WF's purchase of Storm, this woman's sister suddenly was looking at my horses as the possible western horse prospects she sought. The implication was the interest came because of Storm's purchase. Again the message was I needed them and sticking with them would get my dream on track.

There was an appointment set for the both sisters to come view the horses right after the Scottsdale show when the sister's horse was supposed to arrive. The women would kill two birds with one stone and come to see the safe arrival of the one horse for training and look at two of mine for possible purchase.

Because of this appointment the focus changed from just getting horses safe for me to ride to getting those two horses ready for viewing. Getting young horses ready for me to ride was no longer our only priority. Getting something sold had to take precedent. Starting more young horses would take a back burner as we worked towards sales of horses already started.

There were other changes that were gradually taking place as well. Before we made the deal to trade Storm for training, BG hardly missed a scheduled day of work. We even worked extra days now and then. It seems to me that once the deal was made there became all kinds of reasons for BG to skip working horses.

It wasn't like BG wasn't working horses at all. It was just that there seemed to be some kind of reason nearly every week to skip a day here and a day there or the work day itself was being shortened. The five day work week and five horses a day terms agreed to in the contract were not always being met.

Sometimes those reasons made sense to me. Sometimes they made me wonder. Why the vet appointment for the dog couldn't be made on a day we didn't work horses, don't ask me but I guess you get my drift. The priorities subtly began to change although the way BG talked made it sound like I was his number one priority. It was easier for me to believe what he said than to see what he was doing.

Those changes started off slow and gradually accelerated. Between health issues here and BG got hurt and the weather was rotten for most of that winter so it was easy to think these reasons for not working horses were valid. Looking back there were plenty of days that horses went unworked or that work days were cut short before we even got to the point that I realized there maybe I should be keeping track of what was being done. However, I just didn't see it at the time or maybe I was in denial that I'd put myself into such a vulnerable situation.

At the beginning BG had been keeping a record of which horses were worked. I found his assistant checking horses off that list that had been worked by me. I reminded her I had worked those particular horses myself. She relayed that didn't matter. BG was keeping track of all the horses regardless of who worked them. While it bothered me a bit, it wasn't enough for me to even mention it to BG or inquire why. I just figured dit was one more thing about horse keeping he was being anal about. Only much later would I learn he really wasn't anal about horsekeeping, he was anal about selling himself.

To be continued.............

A New Year Starts

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The New Journey Begins............

Part One

Not long after the details of the contract were decided, I announced the sale of Storm on my blog. I also posted a series about Storm's history with me. Foaling Season 2002...........a scandalous storm I was thinking there would be lots to post about this horse in the future. It would be good to get my readers "properly" introduced him in preparation. Who knew it would be nearly two years with little mention of the horse in between before his story would come to the forefront again. If only I could have had a crystal ball.......unfortunately it's just not the way life works.

There was lots of interest here on the blog about the details of the sale. We had agreed to keep those particulars quiet so nothing more was said other than the horse was sold. There was also some speculation on what the price of this horse had been. People knew the probably horse hadn't been cheap and they wondered how BG and WF could possibly have afforded such a horse.

All this was no one's business really, I just let them talk. (Looking back I can't help but wonder if having things out in the open might have been better. Somehow this keeping the details quiet complicated things but maybe not.)

According to BG all this talking people were doing was good for me, although much of the conversation was going through him and not me. All I knew was what BG said and what had been posted in the comments here. BG claimed I had finally gotten the attention of the Arabian horse community on a national front. People were thinking maybe there was something special about my horses if WF was interested enough to pay a significant price for the horse.

Interestingly enough Dave made a comment to BG during this time. He was at their barn, which didn't happen often, and I heard him say something like, "Don't mess with my wife...........she'll never quit 'til it's right." I remember laughing awkwardly at that comment but Dave had half laughed when he said it and BG laughed at the words like he understood.

Somehow I related it's feeling to poor Dave and the hard time I give him when he doesn't follow through for me. I felt bad like maybe I was being too tough on him. It never occurred to me that ihis statement could be prophetic or that it really was a warning from Dave to BG.

I asked Dave later that day about his comment and he just shrugged his shoulders. I've asked him now and he's still shrugging his shoulders. He doesn't know where it came from, just that he felt the need to say it. He finds himself wondering if he didn't see this on some level too and just not trust himself. I guess we will always be wondering about it.

With all this supposed excitement going on around us over this purchase of Storm, I continued to haul horses to work at BG's place. With Storm no longer in my trailer, Reflection there being boarded, I had six horses coming to that facility in two trailer loads . With the three geldings, now Vee and Hope were added into the mix. Legs rounded out the number to six.

While I was bringing that many horses over there not all the work was being done by BG. As things had been before the contract, they continued on afterwards. Some work was done by BG and some by me.

Both Vee and Hope had been well started by me. The only reason for Vee to be there was that issue with her lead to the left. Hope was there to figure out what discipline she might be inclined to do. The mare wants to be very upright like an english horse but I wasn't sure if she had a big enough trot for that. Another set of eyes was supposed to help that.

The geldings were not at a point it was safe for me to ride yet so they were worked by BG and his assistant. Vee was worked in the long lines by BG and then ridden. Sometimes she was ridden by BG's assistant or she was ridden by me. Later on she was ridden by BG as well. It would be fair to say we traded off on that part.

BG's idea of working Hope was for him to put her in the long lines and then he put a kid from the barn on her. He was right, the kid was as cute as a button sitting on the refined mare, Hope, but the kid didn't have enough experience to be riding a green horse.

It was pretty clear to me right from the start this girl matching up this young girl with the green horse was not a good fit. This was not my idea of training. I told BG I was putting a stop to the girl riding the mare. I didn't want to hurt the girl's feelings but Hope shying at the gate each and every time they went by without consequences was really teaching the mare the wrong things. The gate alone was not the only issue but clearly the most obvious. I could write a post on what was wrong with the picture but from here on out the only one who was going to ride Hope was me.

In those early days there was talk of me bringing a third load to get more horses going but to honest that third load was more talked about than actually done. As it was the horses that got started that fall were the three geldings.

There were a few days when a horse from the regulars was left home because of girth sores and once when Legs was sore, when another horse was traded out for that spot in the trailer. Dancer came to visit during those times to be started. That ended with a bad wreck within a few days which I have yet to post. Lucy came just to determine if she really had been broke before I bought her. She was there no more than a few days. Other than that there were no other horses of my breeding or my broodmares worked at their facility in late 2008.

Right after I first got Rhet which was sometime in November, I took the secret horse over to the facility for BG to see. I hadn't posted about him yet because no one was supposed to know I had the horse. Since I was going to need to condition him for the ring, there was no way I could do that without BG and WF being included in the circle of people who knew I had the horse because I was going to need the use of their facility to get the horse worked.

Rhet was good getting into the trailer here but he was ever so naughty getting off the trailer there. Even though BG worked in the arena with Rhet on leading for a while that day, the horse was still every bit as obnoxious when BG handed the horse back over to me. There was no residual from the "work" that had been and it was pretty clear to me that I would have to be the one to teach this horse to lead besides, it had never been my intention for BG to train Rhet in anyway.

The horse was pretty much trying to drag me wherever he wanted to go but I got him back into the trailer in a very direct route although I worked up quite a sweat. I couldn't even get the horse's attention on me he was so overly stimulated by these new surroundings. I decided then the horse wouldn't return to BG's until those issues were fixed. Rhet's time there in 2008 was limited to that one day.

To be continued.......................

More Talk and a Little Shift...

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The Journey Takes a Turn..........

Part One

WARNING!!

OK! Take a deep breath! Hold tight to your coffee, I wouldn't want anyone to spill something and wreck their computers over this! And please don't let your jaws dropping do any serious damage to you or your surroundings! There's just no way to ease into this so here goes..........




In mid October of 2008, I offered the horse, Scandalous Storm, to BG and WF (who up to this point I believed was BG's wife according to what BG had said) in trade for the training of my young horses that BG was really already doing for free. With a $30,000 price tag on the horse at that time, I figured I'd be able to get all of my young horses started well enough they would be safe for me to continue and that would be a big help in getting on with my dream.

BG and I hammered out the details. Training would be at $300 per month per horse and based on a five (5) day work week for five (5) horses. As part of our contract Storm would be shown beginning in 2009 including to nationals in Tulsa. I would receive a female boxer puppy from one of their litters from their female boxer who is a descendant of a dog I used to own.

BG joked that at that rate of training it would take him until October of 2010 to pay off the horse. I figured that was probably right by the time days were taken off for horse shows and such. It would be a long road but BG said it would be worth it AND it would be fun.

Storm being shown was an important part of this deal. Them showing Storm that would help to get my breeding program noticed and it would be accomplished without me having to contribute financially to the show expenses. That and getting other horses started were the only things that balanced out the loss of revenue I knew a horse like Storm would bring. This was the only way I could even consider this trade.

I couldn't afford the loss of $30,000 income. That kind of money would pay my expenses on this place for over a year but I thought this deal could make up for that in other ways. I thought if Storm was out there showing what my horses can do, along with his dad and Reflection, I should be able to pick up interest and even sales on those horses that were started at home.

It would also free me up so I would be able to focus on getting at least one of the other horses I had for sale in the ring, maybe Tag as a maturity horse. Since I knew Storm probably wouldn't have been sold until he was in the ring anyway and most likely not until nationals, I would be trading the money on the one horse for the possibility of making it up sooner on others. It looked like a win- win to me at the time. I suppose it would have been if things had gone as I'd planned AND more importantly as they'd committed to do.

There was another issue about the contract. Since I had paid board and training for Reflection, I wanted to include that in the contract as well. WF said that she couldn't afford to do that with board. She needed the revenue to pay her expenses but she did agree that I could take the amount of training I'd paid for Reflection and apply it against the next month's board for Reflection. The horse's training expense would be deducted from the amount owing on the contract and I would pay board for Reflection each month that he was there.

As for other terms of the contract BG said he was helping me with Legs as one friend to another. He had been doing that from almost the beginning of when I'd started schooling horses there and he didn't want that to change. He said the groundwork he was doing with Legs wouldn't count towards the contract and that groundwork was the only thing he was doing with Legs. It was something he wanted to do because of our friendship.

To be honest, had he wanted working Legs to count, I would have no longer allowed him to touch Legs. While I was curious to see what boxing would produce in my horse, I was not convinced it was getting the job done. I sure wasn't willing to pay for what he was doing. I was and am perfectly capable of getting the horse finished myself. I had no intentions then/nor will I ever pay another trainer to train Legs. That's just the way it is.......

The possession of the horse, Scandalous Storm, was relinquished to BG and WF as we hammered out the details. It seemed there was going to be no problem with those details so there was no sense in my hauling the horse back and forth when he was going to be theirs anyway. Leaving the stallion with them would free up one more space in my horse trailer so we could begin getting another horse going well enough to see the ring.

There was one "little" hitch in all of this right from the start. Once the details were determined we did NOT get any of this contract in writing although it was always my intention to do that. BG said he was going to help me with the formal writing of the contract since he had legal expertise and I did not. Yet, every time I brought up the fact we still needed to sit down and get that contract drawn up there was some excuse to put it off. It ended up no written contract was ever done. In the beginning I wasn't all that concerned about this because I trusted these people. That turned out to be a very big mistake.

To be continued.............

The New Journey Begins

Another Journey Begins - a Little Bait.........

Part One

While I did bring a full trailer load of horses on that first day, BG only worked with one horse and that was Tag. By the time BG was done with that first session, we were all exhausted for the day so the other two horses just got the experience of riding and standing in the trailer. Since none of these horses had been off our farm before that was still not bad for one day's work.

That first encounter with Tag was at the end of September. Later the following week, BG worked with Louie as well. Percy didn't get his turn until after the October Arabian Show.

With that show out of the way, I quit bringing Dandy until after the first of the year when the kids were ready to get back to work. That left one spot in the horse trailer and into that I switched Vee. While the mare was green broke she was having a little bit of trouble getting her left lead and I was hoping for some input.

I posted about those first rides and the work on Vee although I actually posted well over a month after the actual events. Tag The first two horses went pretty well. Louie There were some problems with the third but BG seemed to be open to my concerns and made changes as I asked so I was comfortable we were on the right track getting these young horses going under saddle.

Looking at how things were going with the horses BG had worked to this point, I thought maybe he could help me with Reflection Since the fall, the horse had been with a trainer for a while and was supposedly ready for me to ride. However, the plan had been for me to get on the horse before those training sessions were over and that hadn't happened. I didn't feel safe getting onto the horse on my own. I wanted BG to do the "test ride" to be sure everything was worked out.

I actually put that horse in training with BG and took him over to their facility to stay. Even though Dave's job was just ending, I paid for both board and training thinking it would just take a month or so to be sure the horse was safe enough for me to ride.

All I needed was someone to get the horse past any fear he might have of a new facility and get me comfortable with being back on him. Then I could take over from there. If I could get Reflection in the ring, that would do a lot to get people's attention onto my breeding program. It was a priority for me. I thought surely BG could get this done if he'd worked out Goldie's issues but that's not really what happened either. Life......and Eight Second Rides Looking back I can't help but wonder.....

Even with that addition of Reflection to his training string, BG continued to work on getting those young horses started for me. Before long we had Tag, Louie and Percy going under saddle although none of them was safe to ride yet. I kept a journal right from the start about how it was going. I did posts about how things went with each horse.

Some days when we'd worked these young horses, BG wanted to spend extra time working with a particular horse. He requested I leave that horse for what he called a "sleep over." I told BG right up front I couldn't afford to be paying any kind of board on another horse, not for one day, not for a month. I wasn't leaving any horses to incur more bills. BG's response was there would be no charge because the horse was staying there so he could work it at his convenience. He'd just put a pen up in the arena and throw the horse a flake of hay. It was not big deal. Since I was already paying full care board for Reflection, this would somehow balance out.

At first these sleep overs were not a regular thing. Gradually BG began to expect that I would leave a horse with him. Which horse that might be was rotated based on what BG saw as need. I continued to remind him that I had a spot in my horse trailer and at home for these horses. I could be taking them home. BG insisted he was having fun and really wanted to be able to have the horse easily accessible.

I might as well admit up front, I realize I am too quick to judge what someone is doing. I accept things at face value until I learn otherwise. Sometimes, that gets me into trouble because I've made my leap before enough time has passed for the problems to show.

I felt so grateful and even overwhelmed that someone would just help without anything in return that I wanted to do something for BG and WF. It seemed only fair to me with all I perceived they were doing for me "just because we're friends" that I should do something to show my appreciation. By this time BG had made lots of comments about how much both he and WF loved Scandalous Storm. I began to think maybe there was a way I could repay their generosity.

To be continued.......................

The Journey Takes a Turn

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Another Journey Begins - Offers... Me and BG

Part One

Not too long after I began schooling Storm, Dandy and Legs at the facility of BG and WF, there was some sort of disruption between a couple of his clients. The end result was that a walk trot rider who had been working all year towards her first horse show in Oct was now horseless.

Not wanting to see the child disappointed I volunteered Dandy as a replacement. I figured if my GD took the horse to the show to exhibit in hunter pleasure, he'd be at the show for the little girl to show too. Dandy is always much happier working so I thought if MD and GD were OK with this plan, it would be good for him too.

As long as it was hunter, I wouldn't have to worry about rub marks on his back from improper saddling because his issue is back at his coupling where a hunt saddle doesn't reach. There shouldn't be a problem with my GD especially since the horse was now in my care and not hers except at the horse show where the two kids would be responsible for Dandy's care.

I figured with the mother of the walk/trot rider at the show too, Dandy's care would be covered quite well. I wouldn't have to worry the horse had feed or water or that his stall was cleaned properly or that he was blanketed when he needed. BG would see to it that GD did her part, or so I thought, Dandy should be fine doing this double duty so the walk/trot girl could ride AND the kid would have a safe horse to ride. That was important to me too.

MD and GD agreed with this plan so BG decided he wanted to change Dandy's headset for hunter pleasure. He wanted the horse a little bit higher so for several days he long lined him with a side check to lift the horse up. Then I rode him that way too because BG thought that was the best way to raise the horse's head. Me, I was curious to see if riding in the side check might help get the horse to roll over correctly. I'm really not sure if we accomplished that but Dandy did carry his head higher for that show and the following season too although this brief session of time was the only time BG actually did any kind of training work with the horse.

A few weeks after I began hauling horses there to school, BG and I were once again discussing my breeding business. We talked about the need to get some of those horses started and why I wasn't getting that done. Next thing you know BD volunteered to help me out. He told me I should bring some of my young horses over so he could help get them started under saddle.

I probably should get this straight, right up front. BG's offer was to help me get these young horses started under saddle at no expense to me. He was volunteering his services to help me because he said that he and WF believed in my dream and wanted to do what they could to help me attain that. According to BG it was within his power to help me in this manner and he couldn't think of anything he'd rather do more. It would be fun for him and it would be good for my business. It would be a win-win for everyone.

This offer of help with my young horses was much needed and by this time I had seen what it looked like he'd accomplished with my friend's mare so I took him up on this offer. While I still hadn't really thought of him as a trainer of show horses, there had been much said to lead me to believe he had lots of experience beginning young horses. Also there was the fact that I would be right there watching the process so I'm know for sure everything was within my comfort zone and that my young horses were getting started properly.

Since not getting this done has been a big part of my problem getting horses sold,the thought we could get some others going could get me one step closer to be able to get some successfully marketed. Not getting horses into the ring had also added to the marketing issues, but the more horses I had started the more options I had to get something ready to show. I began to think with BG's help I might actually be able to get this done so I agreed after I got my regular horses worked the following day, I'd make a second trip with unbroke stock.

By this time in my life with horses, I'd learned that just because someone says they can, it doesn't mean they can. While Goldie seemed to be doing pretty good, BG hadn't started her and I hadn't seen him start any horse in my time there. The things I had seen him do hinted at the possibilities but nothing really told me he really could get the job done. He definitely talked a good game but was that enough.

There was a young horse in the barn he claimed to have started when that BNT he'd worked for told him he needed the horse safe to show to it's owner by the beginning of the following week. According to BG the BNT had the horse in training for months but nothing had been done with hime. Now the owner was coming to see his horse under saddle so BG had only a couple of days to get the job done. According to BG he'd done just that. I had seen this horse being ridden and I'd seen him shown. The horse was being ridden by one of those kids in the barn so it wasn't all that impressive to me but the horse did seem to be safe. That was what I really wanted, not a finished show horse but a green horse ready to learn what I had to teach.

By this time I also had seen BG lay a horse down. Now I'm not going to tell you that I am particularly impressed with this as a training technique.It may have been a great moment in the Horse Whisperer but I am unconvinced of itself it means much. All I'm saying is that I saw BG do this with a horse and the horse seemed none the worse for wear. What it meant in a training relationship, I still am not sure, I did know that as far as BG was concerned it alleviated problems with resistant horses. For me, I've never felt any of my youngsters have been resistant to being started under saddle so I can't say that I thought this was something necessary in the scheme of things.

I still remember that first day when I brought over that extra load of horses. My feelings were mixed between relief and concern. The relief was based on the possibility that I might actually be getting some much needed help. The concern was because I still was not convinced that BG was the man who could help me. I wondered what I'd gotten myself and my horses into.

I decided I was going to gauge how BG did by my horses. If it looked like things were going too fast or the process didn't make sense to me, I was going to get my horses out of there. I was determined that my horses weren't going to get hurt in any way because I felt overwhelmed.

One of the things I've learned over the years is I really don't like watching someone else work my horses. It is more nerve racking to watch than it is to do it myself. Watching BG start these young geldings was stressful. I decided I was going to keep a journal of their progress to give me something to do as well as to track what was done with each horse and his response.


To be continued.........................

A Little Bait

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Another Journey Begins - Some Grooming............

Part One

At this point in time my situation with the horses was feeling pretty overwhelming. With some of the life things that happened a goodly amount of time had passed with my focus pushed to other things besides training horses. Because of that I ended up with a number of young horses that were not started that needed to be AND really more horses than I had planned on having in the first place.

My big fall from Reflection made it so I didn't really feel safe anymore trying to start these youngsters myself. Also I no longer felt comfortable asking MD for assistance with things between her, my GD and me in a shambles so I was caught between a rock and a hard place. On one hand there was my fear and on the other there was no longer the help I'd relied on when I started young horses. In the middle were all of these horses needing to get started and me without the confidence or resources to get things done.

In addition Dave was losing his job soon and I had all these horses to feed. How were we going to manage all of this? I needed to get some horses gone to get our expenses down. To do that, I really needed to get way more horses worked than I was getting done. I was under a lot of pressure to get something figured out.

Adding to the pressure I knew that I needed horses broke to ride to get them marketed. That's just the way it is these days. I didn't have the money to hire help and there was no way I could get it all done myself even if I didn't have the fear. I was definitely in a vulnerable position and the darkness seemed to be closing in.

Being able to ride horses at this facility seemed like an answer to one prayer anyway. At least I didn't have to worry about not being able to ride due to normal weather conditions. If I could get Storm ready for the ring and sold the coming show season I thought I'd be out of the woods for sure.

Once I began riding over there were other things that began to happen with BG. I suddenly was being treated like I was this great friend in a friendship that hadn't really been all "that" friendly before now. There were offers to go out to lunch and go look at horses and other social things. My phone calls to BG were always answered even though I knew he screened all his calls and let most of them go to voicemail. If he did miss my call, I got an almost immediate reply. I was even encouraged to join BG at the gym. There was that underlying message our friendship was special.

I'd been thinking about doing the gym for a while to get my core strength built back up so I could better deal with situations like unexpected jumps from young horses like Reflection had done. I hadn't gone because I felt over my head and knew I couldn't afford a trainer. I couldn't see the point of paying a membership that I probably wouldn't use.

BG assured me he and his friend (another woman from the barn) went every morning and that I could join them. They'd be glad to show me the ropes. Not long after this offer I Took the Plunge

Then there was the fact right from the start of riding horses at their arena, I was told how wonderful my horses were and how much BG and WF believed in me and in my dream. I was also told lots of things that other people were supposedly saying about me and my horses. Statements like, "I don't care what they say about you MiKael Caillier, I like you." and "Maybe they think your horses are old fashioned but I think they're beautiful and talented" made by BG were common place. I was assured that WF was on the same page in support of me and my breeding program.

I can remember the uneasiness I felt at the remarks supposedly said by others in the industry as well as those I was being told were said by MD and GD. Sometimes I was just plain mad when I left that facility. I found myself thinking I was fighting even a bigger battle to get recognition for my breeding program than I'd previously believed and that things between MD and GD were downright hopeless. This made me feel all the more desperate and vulnerable. I was beginning to feel like I was alone and fighting a losing battle on all fronts. There was no way my dream was going to survive this unless I got some help.

There was something else that BD kept doing maybe even before we got started working horses. I heard from him over and over about WF's connections in the industry and his too. The implication was that they had power and respect that I did not have, she in the Arabian industry and he in the horse industry at large. With that power came the ability to sell horses. It was implied that sticking with them would get the job done for me that I had been unable to get done on my own.

Throughout this time, I was assured BG and WF were in my corner. They'd do what ever they could to help me because they believed in my dream too. I began to think the only friends I had were these two people and that I really needed them or my dream was sunk.

You hear something often enough and you tend to believe it. I found myself buying into the belief that BG and WF had some kind of power in the industry that I didn't have. I began to believe friends I'd had for years were not really friends at all. I began to believe that I needed BG and WF.


To be continued.............

Offers.......Me and BG

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Another Journey Begins - More Ripples............

Part One

I must admit when I'd thought about Goldie for my GD, I really hadn't thought about the fact she could end up in this barn or how having her in there might affect me working there or my working relationship with BG. All I'd thought about was getting MD and GD a quality horse that they could afford. It looked to me like a horse with issues was the most likely possibility of doing such a thing. If I hadn't thought GD could handle such a horse I never would have suggested it. That was my only priority.

Now that it meant them being in the same barn, I didn't want to mess this deal up because I was uncomfortable. I believed both MD and GD really needed this. I assured BG that I would be fine with them in the barn. Mostly I would be gone before they ever arrived because of GD's school and MD's job. There was a sense of security in that. I'd just figure out how to get my stuff done without having to come in contact with MD and GD if I could.

The important issue to me about having them there was I just didn't' want MD or GD having anything to do with my horses. As long as they were not willing to listen to me on how to handle my horses then I didn't want them even touching one of them. It was as simple as that. Neither had taken any responsibility for the issues with Dandy and I wasn't going to make that mistake twice. End of story.....

BG told me that should the circumstances change and I should decide I didn't want to be around MD and GD I should just let him know. He said both he and WF didn't particularly care for MD and it would be fine with him to send her packing anytime there was a problem. To me it was reassuring to know that they were both in my corner if I should need that. Heaven knows over the last months spent with MD and GD, I'd needed a friend on more than one occasion.

At the start of the new relationship with MD and GD in the barn it looked like BG was going to be good to his word. The times GD was there when I was, BG reminded her that his way of dealing with the horses was no different than mine and that she should have appreciated what she had in me. She got lots of lessons on listening to adults and doing what she was told without argument. Although I must admit that his methods weren't always what I would have liked. Not so subtle reminders that she'd messed up a great opportunity by not being respectful of me were common place. Rachel and Grandma and an Arabian Horse

During this time BG also seemed to be trying to patch things up between my GD and me. While at the same time he did some things to drive a wedge between MD and me. He seemed to want me to believe that my GD was different from her mother so while he was relaying disparaging remarks MD was making about me to anyone who would listen, he was telling me what a good kid GD was.

At the time I didn't really know what to think about this. I knew MD could be unkind and most certainly to me. I also knew my GD was not always truthful and could be unkind herself but BG and WF hadn't spent enough time around her to know that. I guess I didn't question BG's motives in even passing the stuff on. He was always telling me that he was standing up for me with both MD and GD and I guess that just made me feel all the more like I had a friend in my corner.

I did tell BG not to push me to patch things up with GD. We had history that hadn't been dealt with and until my GD was willing to take responsibility for what she had done to Dandy without making excuses for herself, I wasn't going to change my position. I made it clear I was not going to let her do anything with my horses until she would take direction from me the way she took it from BG. I was not going down the road again with her until those things had changed.

To be continued................


Some Grooming.....

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Another Journey Begins - A Little Thickening.......

Part One

Watching the mare coming towards me, the wheels in my brain started to turn. Maybe this mare would be the perfect solution for my GD and MD. She wasn't priced high and GD has the talent she could deal with such a horse if she put her mind to it AND if she got the proper help from a trainer. I thought if this worked out, they could have a horse of their own. How they took care of it would be theirs to worry about, not mine, so maybe we could diffuse the mounting tensions between us.

Later that evening I called MD and talked to her about the mare. I also called my friend and talked to her about MD and my GD. I thought it would be a good fit as long as the situation was monitored by a trainer and I helped put the pieces in place to get that done.

I suggested they might try a six month lease with an option to buy if things worked out. Six months should be enough time to know if GD was capable of dealing with this mare under the supervision of whatever trainer was selected. Maybe, just maybe, my friend could get her horse sold and MD and GD could get started on their own on the Arabian horse show circuit.

MD seemed to jump at the chance to get Goldie. My friend and MD began working on the details. Only after the wheels were in motion did I find out that BG had plans of his own for he and WF to get Goldie. I'd stepped on their toes without even realizing but it was too late now. MD had been the first to approach the owner and that was considered to be a commitment by the owner to stick with whatever they came up with for their deal. BG and WF seemed to take it in stride because not much else was said about MD beating them to the punch, although it did get mentioned to me every now and then in those early days.

Since it looked like BG was getting the job done with the mare, it was decided she would have to stay in training there. It was actually a part of the lease agreement that she must remain there because the owner wanted to be sure the mare didn't fall into the wrong kind of trainer's hands or that my GD didn't end up over her head and get hurt.

The only problem with her staying with BG was I was there too. The close proximity could be stressful considering how things were going between MD, GD and me.

If you're wondering if things had really gotten "that bad" between us, the answer is most certainly "yes." MD and GD had gotten so defensive we couldn't have a simple conversation without them getting mad and many times me getting my feelings hurt. I just didn't want anymore arguing between us over horses, their needs or anything horse related. It was clear they weren't interested in anything I had to say so I just didn't want to be put into the position of having to say anything.

All that tension was taking the fun out of the horses for me. It seemed like everything I did triggered some kind of response from them or reminded me of the conflict. Going to the barn was no longer a relief but another reminder of things going wrong. That's part of why I'd moved away from them at Boulder Knolls. I needed some time with the horses not connected to them so I could get back that feeling of comfort being around them used to bring. Having MD and GD back in close proximity could bring all that stuff back up to the surface.

BG seemed sensitive to the situation. He told me he would not take GD in his barn unless it was going to be ok with me. He said he didn't want anything to come between our new friendship and our relationship with horses even if it meant turning down a training horse.

To be continued.....................

More Ripples

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Another Journey Begins - The Ripple Effect...What Next

Part One

This is probably a good place to add BG was spending plenty of time selling himself as a trainer to anyone who would listen. According to him he was the only one who had worked horses for a BNT before the man retired. BG's story was any success those horses had had in the ring was directly related to BG's skills with the long lines and his work ethic, NOT the BNT who he portrayed as lazy and unethical.

The only thing I knew for sure was the BNT's horses had definitely been worked out of this facility and that they had done well in the ring. Who was responsible for their success was anybody's guess but BG definitely wanted me and others to believe it was him.

The other thing BG was claiming had to do with those horses in his barn. According to him the problems with the horses were all about the owners. Mostly owned by kids or young people with little experience and not a lot of money, these horses were not in training full time. Whatever was going on with those horses was pretty much because of that. BG couldn't be fixing them unless he was paid and they did exactly what he said. According to BG that just wasn't the case and he was frustrated nobody listened to him. His training couldn't be an issue because he just wasn't getting the opportunity to work his magic and when he did, those inexperienced riders just ruined it all.

Now with my friend's mare coming to BG for fixing it would be interesting to see what happened with her. While I had never seen the mare under saddle, I did know my friend's mare personally. She was bred to Legs back in 2006 after the twins were born. When Surprise got sick and needed expensive hospitalization, my friend had sent the horse to me for breeding so I'd have the stud fee to help with the filly's medical expenses so I did have experience with the mare and her personality.

This is a little off subject but I can't resist saying the resulting foal is a beautiful half-Arabian gelding that I swear carries a dilute gene. There's an odd caste to his supposedly bay coat but other than that he looks a lot like his dad. He is equally talented and I can't wait for the day he's going under saddle. Now I was looking forward to seeing what his mother looked like under saddle and to see how BG had really done with the mare's problems.

From the time BG picked up the mare, I had heard what bad shape she was in. I was told her coat was awful and her weight bad too, although not bad as in neglected but just not where it should be. BG was clear he knew what to do to fix those things. Drawing on his years of experience he knew what was just the right thing for this mare.

It wasn't long after her arrival that talk of taking this mare to the Oct show began happening. It was clear from their conversations with the owner and with me that BG and WF really wanted to show the mare at that horse show. WF contacted the owner and told her of the coming event and letting her know they did not charge show fees.

There was so much pressure to show the mare the owner might have thought those show fees had been waived to get her to take the mare except both of us had already been told multiple times that was the barn policy. As much as they wanted to show the mare, the owner did wonder to what extent they would go to get the opportunity. She made an appointment to come see the mare to see what all the fuss was about and asked me if I'd like to come along.

I can still remember the day that I went to the barn with my friend to see how her mare was doing. It had been about a month since the mare had arrived. I hadn't seen the mare worked even once. That work had been done when I wasn't around but I had heard she was doing great. I also heard that she was trained in an odd manner and no one could really figure her out except BG. According to him even WF couldn't ride this mare as well as he.

This mare is a beautiful light colored palomino. When I'd seen her last she had been hanging out being a pasture ornament and was in the kind of shape you'd expect. Now looking at her jogging down the rail towards me, my jaw hit the ground. I sure hadn't seen the mare in this light before. She may have issues but she definitely had "the look" and maybe even the talent of a western horse that could win it all if she could ever get those issues worked out.

During this session the mare showed no signs of the issues that had caused the demise of the lease/purchase agreement. Knowing those issues had been pretty frightening, I guess it was reasonable for my friend and I both to assume that BG was indeed well on the road to fixing this mare.

These assumptions surely affected my perceptions of BG as a trainer but I still had some reservations. There were those show horses in his barn that never did quite cut it in the ring except for the one horse there he had nothing to do with training, WF's horse.

To be continued..................

A Little Thickening

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Another Journey Begins - The Ripple Effect

Part One

Most every day I speak to a couple different horse friends on the phone. We talk about the usual stuff and mostly how things are going with my horses and theirs. During the time when I just began working from BG and WF's facility, I was telling these friends all the things I thought I was learning about BG and what he seemed to know about horses.

One of those things BG had shown me was how to do what he calls boxing. I'd allowed him to try it on Legs to see if it would help get the horse deeper underneath himself. I had even tried it on Dandy to see if it would help with that horse too. It was an interesting concept and BG wanted to show me how far he could take it suggesting there were many variations that could be done so he was continuing to work with Legs before I rode the horse each day.

Not long after this started, one of my friends was having problems with her horse, Goldie. She decided that maybe BG was the man to fix them based on what I'd said so she called him. It was from BG that I learned the mare was coming to him for training.

The funny thing about her decision was at this time I really hadn't seen BG in the light of being a horse trainer I would consider for a show horse . He seemed to be more of a cowboy to me and the history he relayed was certainly cowboy. Not that there is anything wrong with a cowboy philosophy, it's just that cowboys do not usually do or even want to do show horses. For me, I saw BG as someone who loved horses and was probably good at starting them but not really a show horse trainer. Also there is a wide gap between finishing a horse and starting one, nothing I'd heard from BG told me he'd finished any type of horse.

Even WF had said to me BG was not "really" a trainer. Among other things she's said the man didn't even know his leads. . From what I'd seen the horses he was working with were not doing all that well in the ring and they sure didn't seem finished the way that I would want. While working along side him in an arena was one thing, training a horse for me would be another.

I was thinking there were probably better choices for my friend to send her horse to but I didn't express those thoughts. I'd already learned that people don't necessarily want to hear the trainer they've chosen might not cut it so I kept my mouth shut. There was the possibility with this mare's issues he might just surprise me. My friend wasn't looking for a finished show horse anyway. What she wanted was a safe horse to ride.

The mare had been returned to my friend after a failed lease/purchase option contract. The party and her trainer were having trouble with the mare rearing and also being naughty in the show ring. The amateur who had hoped to buy the mare was not equipped to deal with such a problem so the mare was returned after lengthy attempts to fix things to no avail.

Since my friend is also a breeder and pretty much in the same position as me with too many horses, she really needed to get this mare sold. Knowing the odds of getting that done with such an issue she'd decided the best thing to do was to get the rearing fixed.

Now with my friend's mare going to BG to be fixed it was going to be interesting to see what kind of skills BG really had. Although it would be important to note I never saw this mare under saddle before this time so there really was no frame of reference other than what we'd heard and what BG said.

To be continued...........

What Next

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Another Journey Begins - Making a Move

Part One
In the late summer of 2008 I began working at the facility of someone I thought was my friend. I had been working horses at Boulder Knolls over by my daughter's house for a while but by this time I was pretty angry at my granddaughter for not taking good care of my horse, Dandy, and I felt that my daughter had been enabling my granddaughter's behavior.

The series of posts, Rachel and Grandma and the Arabian Horse Crash and Burn! was about the issues and my attempts to rectify them. Despite what I'd tried things had only gotten worse between my daughter and my granddaughter and me. It seemed to me the best thing to do was get myself out of there and put some distance between me and them before things really got ugly.

These friends had offered me the use of their facility a couple of years earlier and I had even gone there a couple of times to ride. Being just a few minutes down the road from me, their place was certainly much more convenient than the commute I'd been doing to get horses schooled but being at the end of a dead end road, it had been difficult for me to navigate my way out of there.

My Ford F350 crew cab dually with a standard size bed is a long sucker. Added to that my 3 horse Circle J slant load horse trailer and my turning radius is wider than the average rig. Any place with limited vision and space for backing to turn around is the pits in the daylight and even worse in the dark.

To exit this place I needed to back out onto the dead end road to then turn around there. With lots of vehicles parked at the end of the road outside their facility and lots of trees blocking my field of vision getting the job done was even more difficult. Added to that the development they lived in had only gravel roads with lots of potholes making it a creeping along kind of ride or else it was way to rough for the horses. A trip that should have been about 5 minutes was more like 15 so I decided at that time it just was more trouble than it was worth to me.

By late summer 2008 some things had changed at their facility. Some of the trees and brush had been removed and the road was getting paved. There seemed to be less vehicles parked at the end of the road too. I decided if the option to ride there was still available it would be a good way to get myself out of the situation at Boulder Knolls and still be able to get my horses worked without adding further fuel to the fire burning between my daughter (MD), granddaughter(GD) and me.

I checked with BG to see if the offer to use their facility was still open. I I even told him why I was asking and how things had deteriorated between MD and GD and that I needed another place to ride.

HIs response to me was "Yes!, you are always welcome." I double checked to be sure there were not going to be charges for arena use because I couldn't afford them. To that he said they wouldn't even think of charging fees to a friend.

Shortly after that I swapped out some of my broodmares to Boulder Knolls and brought home the horses I wanted to ride and began hauling horses to these people's facility so I could school them there. (The reason for swapping at that time was I had more horses than stalls. The only way to have all of my horses at my place was to build a place to put them and that we set about doing.)

In the beginning I was just working Legs, Storm and Dandy over there. I still had not gotten over my fall from Reflection so riding him was on the back burner. My focus was on getting Storm ready to be shown the following year so I could get the horse sold. I knew if I could get that done. I would be in good shape to move forward getting others going under saddle and then sold too.

While I worked my horses in their arena, BG worked some of the
horses he had in his barn as well. During this time BG and I had lots of discussions about horse training and where each of us had learned what we knew. I guess you could call them history lessons about each of us.

From these discussions I believed we were on the same page on lots of things. Most importantly I believed we were on the same page about how horses should be treated. I thought I had found someone supportive of my principles both about horse training and about life to some extent.

There were differences, of course, some of them were subtle and others very obvious but I didn't think they were a problem for me at the time. Most of those things had to do with the way that BG treated people. There were some ethical views that were far different than mine but I thought they didn't have bearing on dealing with horses. There were some interactions with others that I wasn't particularly fond of either but I told myself they hadn't been a problem between us.

My posts from that time reflect what I thought I knew about BG's knowledge about horses . MiKael Meets............. I can tell you those posts look different to me now. Looking back I can see that I was ignoring a whole lot of red flags and I really set myself up.

While we were talking about horses and training we also talked about the industry and its pitfalls. I told him all the stories I've since shared here, and maybe a few I haven't, about mistakes I'd made trusting people and the trainers I'd come in contact with and how those had gone. BG knew exactly how I felt about YW, HM and the WT that had Legs in training and even the early halter incident with Legs. Even more important to note, BG knew exactly who these people were.

According to BG we were on the same page in this area as well. According to him WF* felt the same about these people that I did and that meant that BG felt that way too. We were kindred spirits on many levels..............or so I thought..................

To be continued...........

The Ripple Effect

* I'm going to use the initial WF for this person instead of LF since Leah Fry pointed out in the comments on the last post that LF does not stand for her. Since I want there to be no confusion, I am changing to WF. Just in case you're wondering, that stands for Woman Friend.

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Another Journey Begins............

Things were crazy here from the middle of January 2010 when the whole thing with Storm went south. I didn't post about it at first because I was pretty sure where it was headed. If I was right, I didn't want to complicate matters because I'd done my usual and spilled my guts.

I hinted about the fact there was a problem in Life........and Its Lessons That series of posts even had some of the groundwork for how I got sucked in even though I didn't post about it at that time.

I was going to follow up that series with the one about YW because there were certainly mistakes I made with her that carried over into what happened next because I hadn't dealt with them. Then I guess I got intimidated by the remarks on FB between YW and HM along with some directly between HM and me so I held off posting.

It was disheartening to see how distorted they could make things even referring to me as a drama queen. I get that such a ploy is to get the focus off of them and their behavior and onto me but it still hurt. I thought for so many years these people were my friends. I couldn't afford the emotional turmoil their jabs incurred. I needed all of my energy focused on the current situation so I decided I'd just keep what I knew about YW and HM on the back burner for a while.

As the plot unfolded and this thing surrounding Storm consumed my life, I couldn't seem to get the thoughts of what happened out of my head. I decided to maybe clear my head instead of posting at the time, I was going to write it down. God knows I could've used some sleep through this time and I was never going to get any if I couldn't get this stuff out of my brain so I began writing from the beginning to sort things out and for use as later posts.

Here on the blog I made references along the way to issues that probably left readers wondering what in the heck I could be talking about. The first time I really mentioned anything even resembling specific information was after things were really over in Wrapping Up a Difficult Summer........a Big Drain....
Other than that I know I've not shared many details or left many clues except maybe for my long time readers so the best place to start is probably back at the beginning with those writings I began last year around this time.

There are lots of similarities between those things that happened before and this thing with Storm. Looking back over it all, I see things I need to address so I don't end up down this road again. I imagine as you take this journey with me, you might even see some things I haven't discovered yet. What I know for sure is that history does repeat itself IF behaviors aren't changed.

For me the most obvious things I see is I trust too easily and jump in with both feet before I know that it really is safe. I also am not good with confrontation in public situations. From there my list goes on but I suspect these are the ones I need to address most. As I make this journey through the trials of the last two years I will be looking for more behaviors that I need to fix if I expect to be the kind of advocate for my horses that I want to be.

From this point forward I am going to refer to the two major people involved using initials. Most everything I'm going to say is a matter of public record or is referenced there so I really could state names but for the purpose of consistency I'm going to do this instead. The man involved I will refer to as BG and his woman partner will be LF. Other players along the way will be assigned initials at their point of entrance into this story. I hope it doesn't get confusing but I guess we'll see.

There's another thing about this whole situation you should know before I ever get started with the story. My daughter and granddaughter are wrapped up tightly right in the middle of this mess adding to the heartbreak and the stress. How that came to be I still don't "get" it all myself. I thought I should let you know it's coming so when they pop up along the way you'll understand I'm not getting sidetracked. It all fits in together even if it doesn't look this way at the time.

I'm thinking now is a good time to get all things out there in the open. Beginning with the writings I began last year although I have gone in and edited and rewritten these writings as I've realized the parts I'd left out that are important pieces of the story. This process is really what got me through this lawsuit.

To be continued.......................

Making a Move

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Different Kind of Journey - the Final Loose Ends for Me

This Story Begins Here

A couple of years ago I got a call from the new owner. She had called to get information about YW. She was having trouble getting her to finish paying on the contract for the horse she'd traded and wanting my help in locating the horse.

At this time I got the opportunity to find out how this gelding was doing. What she told me just confirmed what I'd already known. YW had been pretty rough on this horse.

When the new owners got him, they were so concerned about his situation, they decided to just turn him out for six months and let him learn how to be a horse again before they did anything with him. Out in the pasture no adult could go anywhere near this gelding or he would would charge at them. The only one who could get near him was her daughter, who just happens to be the person the horse was purchased for. Luckily, the horse adored the daughter so there was hope his issues could be fixed.

I can't even imagine what happened to this horse to cause this kind of defensiveness. For someone to take one of my sweet babies and turn them into such a horse speaks to some pretty abusive treatment and only confirms my belief that YW never really took to this horse in the first place. Since she was always blaming him for whatever was going wrong, I suspect she got way more physical in her discipline than this horse's phyche could tolerate.

Once the new owners put this horse back to work, they took retraining the horse slowly and he has been rehabilitated. That jack hammer canter that YW described is totally gone and the horse's lovely smooth balanced canter has been restored. WoHooooo!

I believe he's doing fences showing on the open hunter jumper circuit. They also ride him on trails and even down the road. He absolutely loves his kid and the entire family loves him. The horse has forgiven adults for what was done to him. The dear sweet horse who used to live here has been restored to that kind sweet gelding we knew. Hopefully this is a forever home and I won't have to worry about him anymore.

The other gelding was eventually sold too and from what I understand there was a falling out between the owner and YW before or during that sale. I am not sure which. What the circumstances are I don't know and where the horse is I don't know either, although YW did tell me the people who bought him did so for a kid to ride. Hopefully he's fallen into the hands of a kind trainer who is taking the time to fix him too. One can only hope.

I did look up the show record of this horse and I see he has been shown a couple of time by the new owner. The record only shows placings so I don't know if he has been shown more than what's there but it does show he was shown in late 2009 in hunter pleasure and early 2010 in dressage. The dressage showing was a score of 66 in training level and a placing of first with only 1 horse in the class. There's nothing there that will tell me if this horse has been fixed or is doing more of the same.

The heartbreaking visions of both those geldings has caused me to question whether I really want to breed horses anymore. The thought that happy horses can be turned into such sad beings in such a short time not only makes me furious it hurts to my core. I don't want to be responsible for horses living through such horrors. While I know I am not responsible for YW or anyone else's treatment of a horse, the fact I made the mistake of trusting her really shakes me.

I might add that after that short time YW rode Legs for two weeks and then showed him, for a couple of years I really didn't get back to my pursuit of getting the horse the western titles he needed to bring us into the limelight . I think that winter was so horrible schooling opportunities were rare. Then after that the twins were born and the rest is history. Reflections on Foaling Season 2006 - Rare Twin Foals

When I did turn my attention back to Legs I found myself with a completely different horse and I was starting over again. The horse was resistant to going into the bit and lifting his back. Did two weeks of YW's training do that, I don't know but I acknowledge at one point YW did ask me if she had contributed to his problem.

I don't know if that was a sincere question because she was evaluating her training or if she was just trying to see if I was blaming her. Either way I said the same thing then I am now. I just don't know.

All I know is it took me another two years to fix my horse and I had the same issues after YW had ridden him that I had after the WT had ridden him. Looking back, however, it occurs to me that WT only rode Legs in the bridle a couple of weeks and it had taken two years to even get the horse to go forward after that. The man did ride him for about eight months not allowing him to truly go forward so it probably wouldn't be a fair comparison but still there is the fact when it was time to put the horse back into the full bridle he ceased going forward again and has anytime since if he's gotten any kind of break from the bridle. Either way something sent Legs back to remedial training in both circumstances and I will always wonder why.

Another Journey Begins...............


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Different Kind of Journey - Wrapping Up Loose Ends

This Story Begins Here

Before I get onto the next story which is mainly the time frame from the situation that led to the lawsuit and beyond, there are some loose ends that need to be addressed.

The day did come that I tried to talk to YW about Vee. She dismissed me with the statement she'd had a "meltdown " and walked away. I didn't even get one word out about the mare's condition because YW was already gone at the mention of the Vee's name.

Her attitude very much spoke to the fact she thought her personal issues made whatever happened to Vee understandable and maybe even acceptable. I can't even reconcile this kind of thinking coming from someone who claims to love horses but evidently YW can and not just YW because HM doesn't think it matters what happened since it's in the past.

I'm not really sure about the timing but after maybe a year with YW, both geldings went to another trainer. YW worked for that trainer as a groom and from what I'm told was not allowed to ride either horse. Before you think that trainer helped either horse, let me explain her fix for their issues was draw reins. Draw reins cannot fix a horse that has it's natural impulsion depressed by working the horse off the face before the horse ever really learned the cue for impulsion. Things did not get better.

I don't believe the bay gelding belonging to YW was shown during that time. His canter had been totally ruined because his impulsion was now up and down instead of forward making him both look and feel rough. YW described it as being like a jack hammer and it certainly looked like that but she blamed it on his breeding and took no responsibility for causing that horrid gait.

The mahogany bay gelding was shown in costume, show hack and some in hunter pleasure and halter while he was in the other trainer's barn. The horse won a top five in costume in Region 4. I didn't get to see the horse shown or hear directly anything about how he was doing. All I know is the Sweepstakes check I got with two or three small payments from placings he had earned. Nothing that spoke to the quality or talent of this horse however.

The next time I actually saw the horse, I was watching the Scottsdale show streaming on my computer. An english sidesaddle class was entering the ring when I saw a horse enter I thought I recognized. Looking closer, it really was the mahogany horse although I was pretty sure he wasn't trained enough to be carrying anyone side saddle.

There were only three horses in the class but the guest commentator had just remarked on the great quality of all three horses (that was nice to hear) when a riderless horse came charging across the screen. There was my boy running for the high hills. I can only guess what happened because it was off screen. However, I rest my case, the horse was not ready to be a side saddle horse.

The next I heard the mahogany bay gelding was back in training with YW. He was back to his career as a western horse only now he needed to be shown in the full bridle. I didn't ever see the horse actually shown that way but I did see him in a schooling arena. That was enough for me.

Without the proper fundamentals this horse didn't have a shot. I knew he could probably make it into the ribbons and even get qualified for regionals but from there, he just wasn't going to be solid enough to win. Sad for such a beautiful horse with such talent.

Not long after this I heard that both horses were for sale. My daughter and granddaughter tried to buy the bay gelding that YW bought from me. At the last minute YW changed her mind and refused to sell them the horse saying it just wasn't a good fit. I might add her sales contract required her to offer the horse first to me if she ever decided to sell so she really had no legal right not to sell the horse to my daughter, as my representative, but that's what she did. Eventually she traded the horse towards the purchase of another horse.

To be continued........................

The Final Loose Ends for Me

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Different Kind of Journey - an Attempt to Intercede and a Final Payment

This Story Begins Here

At this show I did something out of character for me. I was so distraught and wanting to fix things and still unable to catch the owner alone, I stopped and had a conversation with the mahogany gelding's significant other. I had met the man before and gotten on quite well with him. He seemed like a reasonable man so I thought he might just listen to me and share with the owner what I'd said.

We had a long talk and I explained what I saw happening and how I thought it would affect the show career of the horse and his future sale value among other things. The owner had paid a lot of money for this horse and she expected a horse she could compete with at the national level. The way this horse was being trained, he wasn't even going to be worth what she'd paid let alone ever working to his potential. It was and is my opinion this horse was not working to his potential because his training had blocked his natural correct way of going and his ability to work his best because of this interference. I asked the man to intercede for the horse since I could not get to owner without having to deal with YW too and he assured me he would.

It didn't take long for me to know this tactic had not been useful. Later the following week I got a letter from the owner. She had been talked to all right and she was not happy, not happy with me.

It was clear from her letter that she didn't see things the same way that I did. She was pleased with YW's training and thought her horse was doing just fine. What she was concerned about was my behavior. I got a firm scolding for taking advantage of YW by not paying her a finder's fee ( the fee that had been waived) on the sale of the horse and not appreciating all she had done at my open house and was doing for me by getting my Legs' babies into the ring. She reminded me that had it not been for YW she never would have purchased this horse. I should be grateful. She was most upset that I had not talked to "us" (meaning she and YW) and instead I had chosen to speak to her significant other. Now he was doubting her choices in choosing a trainer and it was all my fault.

While it is unfortunate it turned out this way, it did not surprise me. The horse that this owner had put in training with YW before buying my gelding had had a hard go with the previous trainer. This owner had not realized anything was wrong at the time either. It was only in hindsight based on what she was told by YW and me that she had seen that this mare had been mistreated.

Despite years of horse ownership, the woman didn't know enough about training or riding for that matter to be able to tell the good from the bad. Unfortunately for many horses, she is not alone. There are way more horses out there being ruined with inappropriate training practices than there are horses being trained correctly, if you ask me. Most of those owners believe they are doing the right thing by their horse so it just keeps going on. The horses that are ruined are discarded and new ones sent to the very same trainers who ruined the discarded models in the first place.

Over time nothing improved with either of these geldings. I even heard that the gelding that had been purchased by YW herself was frequently tossing her onto the ground. I can't say that surprised me at all. I'd told YW before she even bought this horse that he was a bit stand offish and really needed to trust to be able to perform. He was and is a horse that needed kindness and patience to learn. Pushing him too fast or beating him up because he didn't do as expected would most certainly ruin this horse and yet both tactics are primary parts of YW's training.

The time came for YW to make her final payment on this horse and she not only claimed I owed her for a fee which she had waived but she billed me for training for Vee. I stood my ground about the fee she now thought she was entitled to receive after I double checked with my daughter and granddaughter to see if they remembered our conversation about the fee.

Both assured me they had been present when YW said she didn't expect a fee on the sale. I knew I had other conversations with YW about my practice of quoting prices and making sure people knew that did not include commission and we'd ever discussed my pricing on this particular horse and that a commission would be added on for any buyer coming with a trainer expecting a fee.. We'd even had YW had stated at that time she thought that was totally reasonable and she could see why I wouldn't even consider taking less for this particular horse.

Since by now I'd had enough experience with YW lying to me and others, I was comfortable she knew full well she was not entitled to a commission. I did not challenge what she wanted to deduct for training Vee however. I wasn't really ready to go down that road yet even though there was plenty of evidence that she did nothing with Vee. I knew from what she originally told me that she hadn't worked Vee, with a witness present, then the timing from then when I took the mare home and the condition the mare was in when I picked her up, it just was not possible that she had worked Vee the number of times she claimed BUT I was worried about my relationship with HM and really wondered if it was worth pushing it so I just let it be.

I am not normally an enabler. I tend to hold people accountable for their bad behavior because I think enabling is not really helpful to anyone. However, I didn't stick to my beliefs in this situation and it came back to bite me later. If I had it to do over, I would have insisted she pay the amount she charged me to train Vee but there's that hindsight again.

It was actually HM who met Dave and delivered the final payment on the horse. They paid what I said must be paid and Dave delivered the papers. Personally it was a sad day as I wondered what would come of this horse now that he did belong to YW. It was the closing of a chapter for this horse and me, but a whole new one was coming for YW and me.

To be continued................

Wrapping Up Loose Ends

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A Different Kind of Journey - a Post and Daffodil

This Story Begins Here

I really wanted to talk to the owner of the mahogany horse but I wanted to talk with her in person and alone. I think situations like this handled over the phone are awkward and usually not productive. The situation with the three woman was a good example of the unproductiveness of phone calls in dealing with such issues. I thought a face to face conversation would be best.

I did NOT however get that accomplished. Every time I saw the owner, YW was right beside her and I didn't want to get into it with YW nor did I want her involved in my conversation with the owner. I wanted to have some semblance of a chance to be heard. The only way I thought that would happen was by talking to the owner alone and I just couldn't seem to get that done.

I did a series of posts about the schooling show but I did not tell the gelding's story although it was really foremost in my mind. Instead I focused on Dandy and Rachel and the issues they were having. However, in the process of telling that story I did use references to these two geldings and YW in both posts about the clinic Post I.html and Post 2
despite the fact that both YW and her mom, HM, read my blog.

I didn't make the reference to be mean or to get even, that is not in my nature. I did it because the reference was an important tool from which Rachel had learned. Honesty is important to me and disguising the truth to satisfy YW or anyone else is not honest so I made the decision to tell the story I was telling as it was regardless of the fallout that meant using the reference it had taken for Rachel to understand what I was talking about.

Not telling the story between YW and me was another issue. Between the fact I had a long time friendship on the line with HM and the situation with Vee, it just didn't seem like the right time to be posting here. I guess I hoped that somehow someway there would be some kind of resolution between the two of us and I could preserve that friendship and on some level I still wanted to give YW the benefit of the doubt.

I did figure there probably would be some kind of reaction to my post I just didn't know what it would be. Maybe the door would be opened for some kind of dialog. There were other possibilities as well although I knew she could have taken that information a couple of ways. She could have learned something from it and maybe fixed what she was doing. OR she could have been p*ssed off and continued right on with her training methods.

Unfortunately for both horses the latter is what she chose. I shouldn't forget to add that both YW and HM were very very p*ssed at me and they made sure I knew it. As far as they were concerned, I was and am the one with the problem.

The next place I saw YW was at the Spring Show and she was there with both geldings. I had heard that YW was riding the gelding she bought from me as a hunter pleasure horse. To be honest I didn't think the horse had what it took to be a good hunter but I was willing to see. I made sure I was there for his class so I could get a look at the horse in the ring doing the hunter thing.

To my surprise, the horse came into the arena and immediately caught the judge's attention. When a judge follows a horse all the way down the rail even when other horses are coming into the ring, you know there's something special about that horse to the judge. All braided up and wearing hunter tack, the gelding certainly was dressed the part and the judge definitely seemed to be impressed but was he really a hunter horse?

How does a horse look like a hunter when you know it's not really been allowed to go forward? I can't answer that question but I can say I did see glimmers of a hunter horse in the ring. I also saw plenty of signs this horse was in trouble. Besides his tail flipping constantly and his mouth going too, the horse was swapping leads back and forth behind, going more upward with his impuslion that forward and being generally naughty with bucking and some kicking thrown it. It was clear this was not a happy horse and he sure wasn't doing his job.

Things had not gotten any better with the mahogany bay gelding either. YW was riding him western and he was still clumped up in an exaggerated frame. Part of the time his lower lip was sucked back exposing his teeth and his long neck was jammed into his shoulder BUT his jog was slow. I'm sure she thought that's what counted but it looked like a wreck to me. This horse also was having trouble with his leads and swapping leads behind although he was more compliant than the other horse.

Not the kind of impression one would hope for with the first appearance of a stallion's get in the performance arena. If anyone noticed their breeding at all, they probably made a mental note that breeding was something to say away from. It didn't look good for Legs nor did it look good for YW's training, not from where I was sitting anyway.

Both of these horses did manage to get in to the ribbons at times. It was in smaller classes and only if they didn't do something particularly naughty but on the whole particularly naughty was the look of the show for both of these geldings.

During one class, I pointed out the mahogany gelding to a friend of mine. She's loved this horse from the first day he was born. Now when she saw him she couldn't even believe he was the same horse. Her response to me, "MiKael, What happened to him? One of the things I loved most about this horse was his big bright expressive eye. This horse eye is dead like there's nobody left inside The light is totally gone."

How do you respond to a questions like that? Yet I knew she was right. That was the same thing I'd seen. There was nothing about this horse that said he was happy to be alive. It was like his spirit was totally gone. Anyone who loves Arabian horses knows one of the most amazing intriguing things about them is that spirit. Killing it, is like killing the horse.


To be continued.....................

An Attempt to Intercede and Final Payment

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A Different Kind of Journey - The First Show

This Story Begins Here

I didn't see YW until early spring the following year. If I remember correctly it was at a schooling show at the Puyallup Fairgrounds. She was there with the big mahogany bay gelding and his new owner. I was there with my granddaughter. She was riding Dandy in a clinic. She's actually the one who told me YW was there and that the gelding was too.

Walking through the barns to get to the arena, I came upon YW (and maybe the owner) unexpectedly. YW spoke to me like nothing had changed between us. There were no apologies for calls not returned, certainly nothing about the horrible thing she'd allowed to happen to Vee. She acted like it was just another meeting of friends in the spring after a winter's lay off.

I didn't know what to think and I certainly didn't know what to say. I knew I didn't want to get into things here at the show because I was still too angry, very angry. Dealing with her over what Vee had to endure was going to take some calm and cool on my part. I didn't want to be seen as some fool ranting and raving over something no one else understood. All I wanted to do was get my b*tt outta there while I could still hold my tongue.

Before I made my escape, I inquired about how the geldings were doing. YW told me the big mahogany gelding was doing just fine but she had really had to "lighten him up" when she first got him.

I cringed when I heard that and I still cringe today. That horse I had started myself and he had approximately thirty days on him when he was sold. The horse really didn't understand forward yet. He was still learning how to balance himself and carry weight. How was he going to do what she was asking if he didn't even get that? Collection was a ways down the road but I knew when she said "lighten him up" she was really talking about frame.

Unfortunately I bit my tongue and said nothing. I got myself out of there before I boiled over. Sometimes I wish I'd done otherwise. Maybe things would have been different but I'm never going to know because what I did was flee..........

I did make it a point to check the horse out when YW showed him in a class. Maybe I was wrong and she'd done right by this horse. It didn't take long to see it was as I thought. I saw a very unhappy horse going down the rail in a compact bunched up little ball not understanding what he was supposed to do.She was pushing him forward but grabbing him in the face blocking his forward movement, not something you can do with a horse just started under saddle. The horse has to understand what the cue really means. The horse had no idea where his impulsion was supposed to go. His tail war wringing and his face looked worried. Still the horse was trying to work for her. My heart broke.

After seeing this display in the arena, I made it a point to visit the horse in his stall but I waited until the owner and YW were not around. I knew I couldn't hold my tongue so I just didn't want to get into it because I knew my rage would boil over and that wouldn't be good but I also knew by now that YW was not interested in what I had to say. We'd spent lots of time talking about her premature attempts at collection and her belief that she was right was why she'd quit listening. What I did want to do was get a chance to stroke this horse and apologize to him for what I'd done. And what was that, you say? I'd left him in the hands of the kind of trainer I swore my horses would never have to experience.

My visit with the horse was even more heartbreaking. The happy funny horse I'd known was gone. There was a sadness in his eye that permeated to my soul and there were big white scars on the corners of his mouth left by the bit and that "lightening up" she'd done. Silent tears fell as I stood in his stall stroking this horse. His head dropped down low, let out a big sigh and leaned against my leg which only added to my pain.

At the same time I could only imagine what the other gelding, his half brother, must be going through because this one was the one she liked, that one, not so much. I suspected life for him was even more confusing and scary.


To be continued..........................

A Post and Daffodil

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