Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Another Journey Begins - More Ripples............

Part One

I must admit when I'd thought about Goldie for my GD, I really hadn't thought about the fact she could end up in this barn or how having her in there might affect me working there or my working relationship with BG. All I'd thought about was getting MD and GD a quality horse that they could afford. It looked to me like a horse with issues was the most likely possibility of doing such a thing. If I hadn't thought GD could handle such a horse I never would have suggested it. That was my only priority.

Now that it meant them being in the same barn, I didn't want to mess this deal up because I was uncomfortable. I believed both MD and GD really needed this. I assured BG that I would be fine with them in the barn. Mostly I would be gone before they ever arrived because of GD's school and MD's job. There was a sense of security in that. I'd just figure out how to get my stuff done without having to come in contact with MD and GD if I could.

The important issue to me about having them there was I just didn't' want MD or GD having anything to do with my horses. As long as they were not willing to listen to me on how to handle my horses then I didn't want them even touching one of them. It was as simple as that. Neither had taken any responsibility for the issues with Dandy and I wasn't going to make that mistake twice. End of story.....

BG told me that should the circumstances change and I should decide I didn't want to be around MD and GD I should just let him know. He said both he and WF didn't particularly care for MD and it would be fine with him to send her packing anytime there was a problem. To me it was reassuring to know that they were both in my corner if I should need that. Heaven knows over the last months spent with MD and GD, I'd needed a friend on more than one occasion.

At the start of the new relationship with MD and GD in the barn it looked like BG was going to be good to his word. The times GD was there when I was, BG reminded her that his way of dealing with the horses was no different than mine and that she should have appreciated what she had in me. She got lots of lessons on listening to adults and doing what she was told without argument. Although I must admit that his methods weren't always what I would have liked. Not so subtle reminders that she'd messed up a great opportunity by not being respectful of me were common place. Rachel and Grandma and an Arabian Horse

During this time BG also seemed to be trying to patch things up between my GD and me. While at the same time he did some things to drive a wedge between MD and me. He seemed to want me to believe that my GD was different from her mother so while he was relaying disparaging remarks MD was making about me to anyone who would listen, he was telling me what a good kid GD was.

At the time I didn't really know what to think about this. I knew MD could be unkind and most certainly to me. I also knew my GD was not always truthful and could be unkind herself but BG and WF hadn't spent enough time around her to know that. I guess I didn't question BG's motives in even passing the stuff on. He was always telling me that he was standing up for me with both MD and GD and I guess that just made me feel all the more like I had a friend in my corner.

I did tell BG not to push me to patch things up with GD. We had history that hadn't been dealt with and until my GD was willing to take responsibility for what she had done to Dandy without making excuses for herself, I wasn't going to change my position. I made it clear I was not going to let her do anything with my horses until she would take direction from me the way she took it from BG. I was not going down the road again with her until those things had changed.

To be continued................

Some Grooming.....

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  1. Again, on the face of it ,it seems like it might have been good intentions. But ... it ,from here feels wrong that this man thought he had the right or ability to "fix" your family .Business is business, and personal stuff ,not part of it ,unless or until YOU SAY you want it

  2. It does sound like BG was trying to drive a wedge between you and your daughter. Hard to figure out his motives this early in the story. If he was really a friend he would have tried to get things straightened out between all of you instead of making it worse. Hindsight is always 20-20 though and there's no way you could see what he was doing.

    I agree with you by the way about GD and how she had to learn to take responsibility for the horses in her care.

  3. I don't know the history you have with your GD and daughter, but it's sad that it had to get so bad you weren't even able to be in the same barn together.
    Could it have been possible your GD was telling BD she wanted to work on having a good relationship with you, but just didn't know how to do it on her own? Or was afraid to?


  4. fern, it was definitely an odd situation.

    Arlene, I'm not sure I understand what he was doing even today. Although now at least I know he was up to no good.

    Lisa,links to the history of the problem was in an earlier post. As for GD she was not trying to patch things up.

  5. It is sad that things got to the point they did with you GD and D. I'm waiting with bated breath to hear the results of this story.

  6. In my opinion, BG should have just stayed out of it. You can train a horse and teach lessons without becoming overly involved in family drama.

    The whole "he said, she said" almost Always gets screwed up. Something is perceived differently than intended, things get lost in translation and before you know it- WHACK! Reality hits you all, right up side the head.

    Everyone has their own ideas about how things are, how they should be and what needs to change to influence that. Waiting to see how it all pans out in the end.

  7. Oh boy, I never trust people who seem to want to get in the middle of family drama. Even my husband quickly learned not to go there-LOL.

    Of course, hind sight is always 20/20 and we know this ended badly. Sounds like BG was a 'pot-stirrer'.

  8. I forgot to add- in the pic, you need to relax your lower leg and let them hang next to the horses sides. Also drop your hands and let the horse go forward...

    I see and recognize this because these are the very same issues I deal with too. just trying to help.

  9. JJ, yes it is very sad.

    Pixie, I totally agree. It wasn't his place to become involved.

    BECG, you're right about BG. In hindsight I could see how he makes that work for him.

    Pixie, Thanks for the input. Pics can be deceiving but if you look closely, My inside leg is on the horse and my outside leg is off him to open the door for him to lift his ribcage. His right front shows the motion as he is beginning to cross over as asked. I am lifting up with my hands because he is wearing a curb. The horse required more barrier to perform the resquested maneuver and that correction needs to be up and not back since it is a curb.

    With this particular horse it takes a lot of that kind of exercise to get him warmed up and going correctly. Most of my warm-up time with him consists of this lateral movement zig-zagging down the rail.

  10. As a general rule it pays to be suspicious of people who feel compelled to report everything they hear said about you. This behavior should have ended in junior high - high school at the latest. I agree that this guy sounds like a pot stirrer. Can't wait for the rest of the story. Kind of hope it all backfires on him.

  11. Good point MiKael. Some horses need it and some need it a little exaggerated to make it clear and easy for them. In the Arab industry though, I see a lot of that, only without any reasoning behind it. Usually the legs are a mile off the horses sides.

    Are you going to be at the Scottsdale show next month?