Monday, January 24, 2011

Another Journey Begins - A Little Thickening.......

Part One

Watching the mare coming towards me, the wheels in my brain started to turn. Maybe this mare would be the perfect solution for my GD and MD. She wasn't priced high and GD has the talent she could deal with such a horse if she put her mind to it AND if she got the proper help from a trainer. I thought if this worked out, they could have a horse of their own. How they took care of it would be theirs to worry about, not mine, so maybe we could diffuse the mounting tensions between us.

Later that evening I called MD and talked to her about the mare. I also called my friend and talked to her about MD and my GD. I thought it would be a good fit as long as the situation was monitored by a trainer and I helped put the pieces in place to get that done.

I suggested they might try a six month lease with an option to buy if things worked out. Six months should be enough time to know if GD was capable of dealing with this mare under the supervision of whatever trainer was selected. Maybe, just maybe, my friend could get her horse sold and MD and GD could get started on their own on the Arabian horse show circuit.

MD seemed to jump at the chance to get Goldie. My friend and MD began working on the details. Only after the wheels were in motion did I find out that BG had plans of his own for he and WF to get Goldie. I'd stepped on their toes without even realizing but it was too late now. MD had been the first to approach the owner and that was considered to be a commitment by the owner to stick with whatever they came up with for their deal. BG and WF seemed to take it in stride because not much else was said about MD beating them to the punch, although it did get mentioned to me every now and then in those early days.

Since it looked like BG was getting the job done with the mare, it was decided she would have to stay in training there. It was actually a part of the lease agreement that she must remain there because the owner wanted to be sure the mare didn't fall into the wrong kind of trainer's hands or that my GD didn't end up over her head and get hurt.

The only problem with her staying with BG was I was there too. The close proximity could be stressful considering how things were going between MD, GD and me.

If you're wondering if things had really gotten "that bad" between us, the answer is most certainly "yes." MD and GD had gotten so defensive we couldn't have a simple conversation without them getting mad and many times me getting my feelings hurt. I just didn't want anymore arguing between us over horses, their needs or anything horse related. It was clear they weren't interested in anything I had to say so I just didn't want to be put into the position of having to say anything.

All that tension was taking the fun out of the horses for me. It seemed like everything I did triggered some kind of response from them or reminded me of the conflict. Going to the barn was no longer a relief but another reminder of things going wrong. That's part of why I'd moved away from them at Boulder Knolls. I needed some time with the horses not connected to them so I could get back that feeling of comfort being around them used to bring. Having MD and GD back in close proximity could bring all that stuff back up to the surface.

BG seemed sensitive to the situation. He told me he would not take GD in his barn unless it was going to be ok with me. He said he didn't want anything to come between our new friendship and our relationship with horses even if it meant turning down a training horse.

To be continued.....................

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  1. Family can hurt us the most,and yet your daughter and GD, need to look at where they learned this far ,I suspect a good deal of wht they know they learned from you ,and even after all the hurt you found Goldie for them. Sad.BG sounds for the moment like he has a streak of decency in that he was sensitive to your feelings. Overall,I can start to see why this story ,needs to be told , and why the telling is difficult .It certainly has the feel of a terrible trainwreck coming

  2. fern, a terrible trainwreck indeed....

  3. Ugh, I'm so sorry that you've had these problems with your family. I know from personal experience how awful that is and how alone you feel. I hope you all can repair your relationship someday (if you haven't already).

  4. I don't know the story behind this horse and riders...........but she is a beauty.

  5. It's hard when families can't seem to share their love of horses and experiences. Sometimes the younger generation needs to step back and take a look why and how they got where they are and respect the elder generation for helping them along their chosen path. I'm sorry you had to go through the heartache of not getting along with your daughter and granddaughter for a time.

    I think it was a wonderful idea to get them involved with Goldie. And even though BG sounds like he was aware of your feelings and looking out for you, I have a hunch he resented the fact that he lost Goldie and probably blamed that on you. I'll have to wait and see how this all plays out.

  6. smazourek, you're right it is an alone feeling when family things go awry.

    wendy, sorry I should have posted a name of this horse. He's not the one in the story. I don't have a pic of that mare so I posted one of my stallion, Legs.

    Arlene, things with BG were not as they seemed. I'm pretty sure of that looking back.

  7. i'm confused - i thought goldie wasn't arabian - didn't she have a half arab colt by legs?

    i'm also so curious of GD is still into horses after all this happened.

    i dreamt about legs again last night, this time i stupidly tied him to a trailer not hitched to a truck and barely rescued him in time.


  8. Amazing when you look back al the little things that you should have oticed are there, even though they get ignored.

  9. Crystal, Goldie is a registered half-Arabian. Here registration number begins with a 2 which means she is 3/4 Arabian which makes her baby by Legs a 7/8 Arabian.

    Yes, GD is still into horses.

    Legs must have made an impression on you if you're dreaming about him. I'm sure he'd be flattered but he would probably think he should be the one saving you. Quite and ego that horse has. LOL

    Crystal, looking back they always seems to carry more weight than the did at the time.

  10. Eeew! I hate it when things between people we should be close to get so sticky and seem to be so messy. Really takes a lot out of the FUN we all got involved with horses for.

  11. Oh boy...Got 3 generations of us in my family that could tell you some stories (both sides) of how dramatic and painful sharing the 'equine dream' can be.

  12. lytha, sorry I put my response to you with Crystal's name. I must have been in a fog this morning.

    Pixie, isn't that the truth.

    BECG, NOW you tell me. LOL Painful wasn't what I had in mind or expected.