Transitioning from Food...........to a Promise to Lytha

Ever since I wrote the post Food for Thought........ my mind has been racing with all the things I had before me that I did not use to protect myself or my horses. The revelations just keep coming and I cannot help but wonder what other things are out there I didn't utilize because I didn't see how they related to my dealings with others and my horses.

For those of you who might think I am beating myself up over this, nothing could be farther from the truth. For me it is about the learning process so I can make sure I don't make the same mistakes again. I want to understand it all as best I can so my horses don't pay because I've made similar mistakes in the future.

I thought I had gone through those early things from my time in the horse industry in Life............and Its Lessons and understood them pretty well. Now I see there were even more lessons there than I once thought. I cannot help but wonder how differently I will see things in those stories that are yet untold now that I have this new perspective thanks to The Horseback Writer

In my last post in the series of lytha's visit to my farm I promised 'Coming up next..............What lytha wanted to know...................the story/stories behind the biggest story here in 2010." Before I start down that road I think you should know lytha did not ask me a question. It was I that asked a question of her. "Was there anything she really wanted to know?" Her response to me was two simple, but daunting, words................. "the lawsuit."

I ever so slightly nodded my head in recognition of what I knew she would say. If that question had been asked of me as a reader, I know what I would want to know so it was not a surprise. Hearing those words, I had to take a deep breath before I could even begin to speak. I'm going to tell you the same thing I told lytha that day.

It's complicated. There is just no way to make it simple. There is no way to easily explain it. The only thing I can think is to do it the way that I know best. That is to just tell the stories as they unfolded. As I said to lytha, there are things that happened that played into later events. Each is a piece of the puzzle that makes up the whole picture of what this past year has been for me and my family here. Without all those pieces there will only be and incomplete picture leaving more questions. I know that because that's how I got to the perception that I have now, all the questions I asked myself and the answers I found in the past. I figured in the telling of the story, it was important to tell all the stories that played into it so you could see the "hows" and "whys" of it.

It may seem at times that I have gotten off subject. I assure you, that will not be the case. If I post something that doesn't relate, I will tell you I am off subject for the moment. From this point forward everything I post , even if it doesn't seem to fit, somehow has a place in the overall story. I suspect you will recognize them when the time comes.

As I tell each story, I will tell it from the perspective I had at the time. As time went along my perceptions changed. I will try to keep those changes within the confines of the time in which they happened. That way I hope to maintain some semblance of how it was for me and what I was thinking at the time.

If you're wondering why I'm choosing to do this now, I guess the simplest answer is this. People have done a lot of talking about me and in response, I have said nothing. Much of what has been said is so far from the truth it is no longer recognizable and still I didn't speak. It killed me inside but I knew it was in my best interests to say nothing about what I knew. Even though that was the case, I felt like I was letting myself down in some ways. Up until now only one side of the story was being told. Now, I figure it's time I stand up for myself and tell my side of the story.

In this process, I hope to see the things I missed in the actual living of these events. I hope to apply my new found perception and understand how that might have saved me, my family, and some of my horses a lot of grief.


The Journey Begins.........................


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