Friday, September 27, 2013

Conspiratorial Confidants.....

 Part 1 of the Black Years

 Part One of Amanda's Wright's Story

The farther I have gone down this road, the more I have come to understand all the little nuances that made these exploitations possible. Even things that seemed innocuous to me have turned out to be signs that something was amiss but I have learned the true measure of the risk seems to be in having a group of these indicators together. 

I guess that only makes sense. A picture is clearer the more pixels it has and the same is true of the little pieces it takes to see the whole that is a person's motivation. Those pieces can look unimportant standing alone but with others they begin to disclose their true pattern. Many times disputes between individuals are caused by nothing more than poor communication but there are those people who are users. It can take a lot of little pieces to really know in which category an incident fits. Amanda, like those before her, has all the indicators of the latter. Too bad I didn't see them for what they were.

Amanda stretched the behavior of showing contempt for past perpetrators beyond what I have already described and she used it in a way that struck me as odd at the time although it didn't feel threatening. Even though I didn't notice the way she expressed contempt was any kind of warning sign, this behavior I am about to describe did give me pause but certainly not in a way that would have protected me.

You see Amanda monitored what was happening at Opus Arabians for any references to me and if she found something she would tell me about it. I didn't ask her to do this nor did I really care to know what they were up to. It was something she did.

Like Erin will always be trying to prove she meant no harm, Angie Miller and Richard Galarza will be trashing me whenever they deem it necessary. This behavior isn't going to stop no matter what I do so there is no point in investing any time or energy towards it so I really don't need to know about it.  To Amanda, however, tracking them was like a calling although she didn't admit it. Maybe that's because I made it clear to her that I wasn't interested. She could follow them if she wanted but it was of no interest to me.

Despite this Amanda managed to bring them up pretty regularly. Often she would ask me questions about people in the industry that would invariably turn out to be connected to Opus. When I would discover the connection, I asked her the purpose of this query but she always claimed it meant nothing. She was just trying to get her bearings in the industry but still those questions were always about someone at Opus. I don't even recall even once her asking me about anyone who didn't go back to them so it was pretty clear she was obsessed with knowing the how's and why's behind them.

None of this made any sense to me but I thought it was harmless. Much later I came across a list of behaviors that identify those who exploit others and this jumped out at me.  On this list it was called creating conspiratorial confidants and Amanda is not the only one I know who used this tactic although most didn't hone in on Opus Arabians like Amanda except for Crystal Baker. She was, and probably still is, as obsessed with them as Amanda but in Crystal's case I think she is hoping to figure out how to steal clients away from them.....but then Opus does their share of that too......the conspiratorial confidants and client stealing.

At first this label didn't make sense to me probably because I wasn't participating in her plan. Even so the purpose is about establishing a bond that would build trust. I'm not sure Amanda's focus on Opus affected my trust level one way or the other but what is important is that it WAS a part of her plan and an identifying piece in her methodology. Maybe it made me believe I had her loyalty but there was nothing loyal about how she behaved here.

To be continued.......

A Visit to the Daffodil Spring Show....

1 comment:

  1. Interesting how they all figure out how to play the game for their own game.