Tuesday, October 15, 2013

More Tactics.....and Shared Methods....

 Part 1 of the Black Years

 Part One of Amanda's Wright's Story

I could swear that Amanda initially told me she was paying the farm owner to live there even though she was living in a camper. She was using his bathroom and laundry facilities in addition to living on his property. Later when I queried her about it, she denied ever saying such a thing. Instead she claimed she had offered him money but he wouldn't take it. I bought that explanation believing she was helping this man clean up his farm but after what happened here I can only imagine and note this discrepancy was one more thing that probably shouldn't have been ignored.

Not long after I first broached the subject of Amanda bringing her motor-home here so she could help get my farm and horses in order,  Amanda's  complaints about her current living conditions took on a different tone. I began hearing details about circumstances there that hadn't previously been mentioned like there were others living on this property besides the farmer and in addition she claimed dogs there were beginning to behave likes pack animals.  Other disparaging remarks began to grow including about the farm owner. According to Amanda she was the only responsible animal person on the place. Even Animal Control was relying on her to keep the owner in line. She was definitely working at portraying a picture, that I would say after her time here, is comprised of a considerable amount of fiction.

Amanda had already told me about the accident that had resulted in the euthanasia of an aged stallion that Amanda Wright had previously rescued and had caused her to quit horses but I don't recall exactly when she disclosed there were stories posted online about this incident.  I have realized that she has an uncanny knack of telling her story in a way that sounds like she is a victim of circumstances. She doesn't come right out and say that but instead she paints her picture with just enough guilt to lead you to believe she did her best so you think she did everything humanly possible. After her time here, I now see the game playing in her methods. She is a pro at portraying herself as genuine and caring when I believe there is more than enough to say the opposite is true.

I believe her disclosure about the web posts was to assure she influenced my perception into something more forgiving and compassionate than what was said about her on the internet. She probably figured I would come across these posts at some point so she better make it work for her and she did a pretty good job of that.

I didn't even look for those posts at first which is definitely a mistake on my part.  It wasn't until she was actually in the process of moving here that it occurred to me I should see what had been said. By then there were contradictions between what was written and what I recalled but I was unsure if my memory was flawed or Amamda misrepresented herself. Had I been on my game, this discovery would have been it for me but instead it was one more thing that didn't get the kin of consideration it deserved.  I would add that my view of culpability in this incident is now dramatically changed. I will address my reasons when we get to that portion of this story.

To be honest considering my experiences with Amanda, I have no idea if any of the things she said were true. Details about her mother and her illness, their issues, her sister, the other farm, and its occupants, all are sketchy just like the grant information was. If she didn't want to talk to me about these things, why did she bring them up at all?  It certainly wasn't because I was after her to tell me all about herself. My interest in Amanda had to do with horses and her experiences with them but it seemed like horse talk was pushed aside for these "non conversations" she used to occupy the time during our brief interactions. There may be shreds of truth in what she shared but still I wonder why she even bothered because there was so little real content. It feels like something useless, more like crumbs to lure me, than anything  to build a relationship on and to be honest I found it frustrating. To be interrupted from a nap by one of these calls or texts that accomplished nothing but disturbing me made me crazy.

It is hard to discern fact from fiction, when there are only bits of information and maybe that was the whole point. The less she said the less likely she would be caught in a lie. Just as, if she controlled the content by talking about things and people I was unfamiliar with, she could appear like she was trying to establish a repoure with me without exposing anything she didn't want me to know. It definitely was a part of the game even if I don't quite get it.

A friend suggested Amanda needed to look around to figure out how she should act because she is that unfamiliar with appropriate behavior. Such an idea sounds sad but actually makes sense.....her interactions with me were really that different from anything I have ever experienced before.

As I am writing this, it occurs to me that this secretive behavior is something Amanda has in common with Richard Galarza and Crystal Baker. Both of these individuals played this game on specifics topics but Amanda was secretive about most everything. Her method of selling herself was very different from theirs even though they all used this same technique.

Crystal and Richard both have inflated egos and would run off at the mouth to build a story to support their egos while withholding details in just the right places to make themselves look more important than they actually are. Being vague also helped keep the amount of information down so they would be less likely to get caught in a lie. Both are good at saying just enough to make it sound like they know what they are talking about without providing enough information to expose their ignorance and they use this method to look like better horse trainers than they actually are. Richard would actually hint he was doing secret assignments for big name trainers to support the lie he is better than any other trainers. Several times while I was there he claimed he was called by a big name trainer to  fix a problem the BNT couldn't but never named the trainer, the problem or its fix......although he would leak just enough about the trainer to identify who so it looked like he, Richard, knew more than that trainer. Crystal used a little bit different tactic to convey that same message that she is the better trainer, while Amanda feigned humility about her horse training skills while still intending to convey she has something special to offer. None of them has the talent to accomplish anything even close to the image they project but I find it very interesting each used deliberate vagueness to accomplish their end games.

Most of my life I have understood communication skills play a pivotal role in success but I hadn't realized what looked like poor skills could actually be a very effective tactic to a con until dealing with these 3. Where I used to view such methods as nothing more than poor communication skills, I now realize they can be indicators of something much more insidious. These people were all deliberately hiding things as part of their methodology so they could exploit others. The behavior appeared harmless but was instead an important aspect of their games.

Do you know someone who communicates in a vague, sketchy manner? If so, how does she/he use this?

To be continued.......

So Much for Clarity........


  1. Unfortunately I work with/for a psychologist who uses a similar vague approach and is often changing his tune about direction or suggestions. I feel he is trying to keep staff off balance with his behavior and i have simply moved to talking with him only in a group setting , seems like he is less able to manipulate me or others if there is more than one person hearing his words

    1. So basically you are saying he is up to no good either. Thinking back over the years to others I recall with this behavior, seems like that is a pretty common thread. I have thought for years that deliberately creating chaos is a warning sign. at this rate, I'm going to have a list right up there with Dr Phil's. LOL