Wednesday, October 16, 2013

So Much for Clarity.......

 Part 1
As I have already stated, I believed that circumstances with Jessica and Erin would have turned out better if I had set clear  boundaries.  I was determined not to have another problem so I made sure that Amamda knew exactly what was expected of her. I was determined I was not going to be in anymore situations where I felt exploited so we talked about it all. Everything I had learned from the previous situations, I used to get it right.

Amanda not only knew up front all the things I needed done but she knew it couldn't cost us any money for her to be living on our property and I certainly didn't want it to be causing us any more work. In addition to the work we discussed, she would be required to pay her utilities including garbage and she was required to recycle.  Also since she would be using my bathroom, she was to help with its cleaning. Even that was spelled out, twice a month it was her responsibility to clean it. Because she only had a tiny fridge in the RV, I told her she could use a portion of my extra fridge and she could put a few things in its freezer but she must clean up after herself and respect our needs. Nothing was left unsaid, even keeping her areas cleaned and orderly was discussed. I did not intend to have anyone disrespecting my things or my property again so when I thought of something we hadn't covered, I brought it up and we had months to get this right.

We talked about her dog and cat. The cat was supposed to be an indoor cat so that wasn't supposed to be a problem.  I told her dog  must be cleaned up after  immediately because I did not want nor need to be cleaning up after another dog and I sure didn't want to be stepping in dog poop. Amanda insisted this all went without saying but I wasn't taking anymore chances. I made sure we talked about it all.

She asked about the location where her  motor-home would need to be parked inconspicuously so it didn't detract from my farm or the horses. We talked about the possibility of it being parked near the house but if that didn't work there was a place across from the barns.  She would purchase a privacy screen to assure it was hidden. She even sent me links to the site she intended to purchase this screen from so I could choose an appropriate color that would blend with its surroundings. She claimed she didn't want her presence here to be a problem in any way.

Since we were already talking about the effect of the farm looking rundown, this conversation made sense. A big older RV parked helter skelter could quickly make an old farm look worse. It was an important consideration but in reality it was just another part of her ruse. Amanda didn't do anything once she was here that showed she cared about anyone's needs but hers.

I believed I had learned much from the other exploitations so the boundaries were clearly set. The only problem with that is setting boundaries alone is no protection from those who take advantage of others. Such people know how to work their way in and then they do exactly as they please and that is exactly how it went with Amanda. She was definitely all talk and nothing I could have said or done would've made this turn out differently, except of course never allowing her on my property in the first place.

Sometime during Erin's stay, Amanda began talking about having a boyfriend in the Midwest. Next I  heard he was coming to visit in August for his birthday. The ink was barely dry on her divorce papers so it seemed to me this was a lot in a very short amount of time but Amanda said they had been online friends for a couple of years. To me it made no sense....but it certainly would later.

Soon Amanda's pitch of all that could be done for me began to include Darryl. He is not a horse person but he would be able to assist her with the work.  She claimed he was a computer geek and he would fix my computer and he could help me get my website updated......more promises never met.

Darryl arrived in August and Amanda promptly got pregnant. Of course I wasn't told that at first. Actually I really was not told it at all. I discovered she was pregnant and then confronted her about it. At first she claimed that wouldn't affect our arrangement.

Darryl quit his job at Walmart to come to see Amanda. He had no driver's license because he forgot to renew it before he left and he was broke so he was living with Amanda who also had no job. He is considerably younger than her and she is definitely the alpha in this relationship. Darryl does what Amanda says, nothing more but definitely less if he can get away with it.

Right from his arrival, Amanda was pushing to move here. She complained the living conditions on the other farm were growing worse. Then once the pregnancy was out in the open, Amanda couldn't wait to come here because that other farm was not a safe place to raise her baby.

I wanted to know she was going to do the work  but she was pushing stall cleaning for Darryl when she had been clearly told for months that stall cleaning was not what the offer had been. Every time  she brought it up I reminded her my horses needed grooming and turnouts and the farm needed repairs and that was our deal. Amanda heard what she wanted.  I believe she had no intentions of doing anything with the horses or the farm. I think she decided in her mind what should be enough for parking her RV on my farm but she didn't tell me she had decided on less than she had promised. She deliberately withheld it, just as she's left out so many details along the way. Whether that worked for me was not her concern. She wanted to be away from the hoarder's place and I think she wanted people to know she was here because she thought it would give her credibility. Just like Crystal Baker, she  traded on my name.

I could see the writing on the wall before she ever got here  I was not the one who wanted Amanda here once Darryl entered the scene and Amanda got pregnant. Dave and Lindsay wanted to believe that Amanda was sincere and she did a pretty good job of working us against each other. By the time Amanda and Darryl moved here the only one recognizing the truth was me and I was too sick to fight my husband over this so I went along hoping I was wrong but terrified I was right.

Are you groaning yet?

To be continued.......

Moving In........ Another Nightmare Begins Thanks to Amanda


  1. not groaning , just a big sad sigh

  2. Unfortunately, I am groaning once again. This time you could see the writing on the wall. Too bad you were out voted ad gad to deal with another user.

  3. Yes, I'm groaning, mainly because I can't believe the situations young girls get themselves (and their babies) into.