This whole thing was complicated by another harsh reality. My oldest daughter, Colleen, and her children including my granddaughter, Rachel, had made no attempts to see me or contact me in any manner since they had learned of my illness. Even when they were told I was in critical condition there had been no concern or interest in my well being.
It is one thing to have differences of opinion. Their betrayal in joining Richard Galarza and Angie Miller of Opus Arabians as partners in trying to defraud me by keeping Storm without paying for him had been difficult. Neither Colleen or Rachel or her siblings had spoken to me since I'd discovered their subterfuge but I guess I still held out hope there would be a reconciliation at some point. But when laying there for days not knowing if I would live or die did not generate some sign of caring, it was finally obvious to me that they are not interested in having a relationship with me.
Now a while back when their betrayal actually happened an anonymous commentor suggested if they had indeed behaved as I said, I must have deserved it. The claim was they must have learned that behavior from me. I was also accused of always. blaming others and taking no responsibility for my behavior.
I knew at the time this person sure hadn't read much of my blogs nor did she know me because her assessment sure didn't fit how I have chosen to live my life. The thing that concerned me was this person was putting her trust in people who not only don't deserve it, but who will exploit it should the opportunity arise.
That bothered me then and it bothers me now mostly because of that guilt by association thinking. Integrity is everything in the horse industry. I have worked hard for mine and to have it affected by something I have no control over felt like one more thing stacked against me in times that appeared to be growing exponentially worse as the days ticked by. I don't seem to be able to think about this loss without considering the effect their betrayal has had on the perceptions of some of my integrity.
So as I faced this situation where most people would be able to depend on family, I found myself dealing with a broken heart and a dis ease about my place in the industry. It was one more thing heaped on my shoulders and it gnawed at my soul. As much as this may not appear logical to some, feelings are not necessarily logical....and these were mine....the whole convoluted mess as I left the hospital and returned home.
Medical professionals will tell you that healing is compromised by stress and heartache. As hard as I tried I could not get the worry for my horses or the heartache out of my mind.
To be continued......
My Situation at Home..