Wednesday, February 9, 2011

The New Journey..........What Is This?

Part One

The worst part of that experience at the Region 5 Championships was it reinforced those messages that I was alone and no one really liked me. All those times of BG planting seeds were taking their toll. Even though he wasn't living up to his end of our bargain, I still had this strong feeling I needed them.

Not long after that championship show I found out that BG had pretty much abandoned his online journal, instead he had begun on FB and he had been secretive about it in regards to me. Imagine my surprise to find that among the very first of his FB friends were YW, HM and PF. With over 400 members in just my club in this region let alone the twelve other clubs, I found myself wondering if it just wasn't a little bit odd that BG had added the handful of people who had issues with me.

Along with this, what I considered to be, odd behavior, BG suddenly found it no longer important to return my phone calls, my text messages or emails. The place of prominence I'd had in being "the" important client was all but gone. Mostly I only contacted BG about work and doubling checking his schedule so claiming to not get a phone call or message was just one more reason not to work. I also knew BG was lying to me on a regular basis. I wasn't sure what to do about any of this.

It was somewhere around this time I finally got the opportunity to see BG ride Reflection. When I did, I knew immediately what the problem was. As I watched BG riding the horse down the rail, Reflection was tossing his head from side to side.

For those who aren't familiar with this behavior, it is typical of some stallions. Reflection throws his head to either side as an expression of how cool he is. It's a trait that the great Khemosabi was know for. It's a clear message that the stallion is in charge.

Letting it happen with the horse under saddle pretty much guaranteed the horse would be naughty. It's like a blanket permission to do whatever he feels like regardless of what he's asked. It was no wonder Reflection was being naughty. He thought he could do pretty much as he pleased.

I immediately told BG to correct the horse. Then I began explaining why it was important to do so. There was no way Reflection was going to settle down and listen to a rider as long as he was allowed to continued that behavior. If BG wanted to continue working Reflection that would have to stop and stop now.

Those other horses BG had begun in training were actually beginning to look more trained than my horses. These horses had only been with BG a few weeks where mine had been started almost a year before.

The only reason I got to see where these horses were in their training was because the owner set up an appointment to see them ridden. The only time she could come was when I was supposed to be there. BG couldn't get me out of the barn fast enough to have me be gone when she arrived and he probably knew lying to me about why he wanted me gone wouldn't get me out of there anyway so he told me she was coming. Once I knew she had that appointment, I stayed to see just how trained these horses were.

I had heard from BG how great the first horse was doing. How he'd fixed this horse in record time that another local trainer hadn't been able to fix in over a year and a half. The woman was so happy she'd given him a horse to get started under saddle. BG just couldn't resist spreading the word on anything that made him look good and even if he wasn't still trying to reel me in, he was still out there selling himself to anyone who would listen and that included me.

While this woman was at the barn it was clear that SHE was now the important client. BG was fawning all over her. To be honest I'd never seen him do this much *ss kissing with an owner before, not even me, but then this woman has money, lots of it.

In addition to having these two horses in training with BG, the woman also had a bunch of tack she was wanting to sell. She was no longer planning on showing horses so was liquidating all her show gear and some working tack too. She was hoping BG could help her with that.

In her show tack collection the woman had a couple of pairs of silver weighted reins. I was wanting to have a pair of weighted reins but really couldn't afford them. Since the woman's asking price was something I could handle, I asked BG if he would get those reins for me to see and try with Legs.

BG promised me that he would call the woman and that I would be the first one to get to look at any of her stuff. He also promised me that particularly those reins were mine if I wanted them. Instead when the reins arrived WF decided she wanted them and bought them right out from under my nose even though BG had promised them to me.

I confronted both BG and WF about this situation and all I got was a shoulder shrug. For the first time I was beginning to see their word really wasn't worth much and I began to question other things too.

The interesting thing was, when it was all said and done WF offered to loan me those reins for nationals. When I tried them on my horse they were just too heavy. Had she given me the opportunity to try them in the first place as BG promised, there would have been no hard feelings. WF would have been free to buy them herself and I wouldn't have cared at all. Instead it is just another one of those things that showed me BG and WF's word didn't mean a thing.

One day I was riding one of my horses in the ring and I think BG was waiting for this client to arrive. Whatever he was supposed to be doing for me was getting cancelled yet again and I was pretty pissed. I'd made some kind of request of him and I was being ignored even though he was supposed to be working my horses at the time. I found myself muttering a snide remark about not being as important as this other client under my breath.

Unfortunately the comment wasn't under my breath enough. BG heard it and went off on me. He snarled at me, "What's that?" and I'd repeated a tamer version of what I'd said explaining my frustration. BG's response was to tell me to "Get the F*CK OUT OF MY BARN!" To which I'd replied "FINE, I'll take MY horse and go!":

BG's response was instantaneous. "YOU JUST DO THAT! AND I'LL SEE YOU IN COURT!"

To be continued....................

My Knee Jerk Reactions and a Little Fate

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  1. Yikes! So much for that great friendship he was rambling on about in the beginning. He sure was quick to smash it. I guess he expected you to just let him walk all over you.

  2. Wow!!! True colors showing and fast!

  3. And here it comes. I knew it would and I knew it wouldn't be pretty. They were leading up to this point. Goading you into a confrontation so they could be rid of you and try and keep your horse that they had no intention of paying for.

    What a bunch of dishonest ....!!

  4. Nuzz Muzz, to be honest, I don't know what he expected me to do.

    fern, Bad temper on this guy. I only saw it directed at me a couple of times but those kids got it pretty regularly.

    Arlene, I think they thought they had me right where they wanted me.
    It was pretty clear he wasn't really planning on doing the work unless pushed.

  5. there is no place what so ever for a temper around horses, arabians especially.

    When I ride, if I get riled up because ITS NOT WORKING AND HE'S NOT LISTENING, I try to find a point where things mesh (whether its a square halt, a good transition or whatnot) and call it a day. My trainer taught me that - find a good point and just stop. Come back again when calmer and more relaxed.

    you never ever improve a horse while you're in a temper. never.

    And gosh knows, I can have one. Its easier for me though - horses are a my hobby - the moment i get angry or upset over my hobby is the moment I am doing it wrong. I spend too much money and too much time to get pissy over this.

    I imagine tho, that having this as your livelyhood adds stressors that make that concept nigh impossible.

    But Temper? Never ever. Do Not. You will always cause more damage than not - thats one of the first things I assess in a trainer - someone who is positive, thinks through things like problems, not arguments, and is even keeled.

    wow. your experienced sucked. I'm glad I know that you at least got some fair resolution. OTherwise I'd be so sad for you right now. And your horses.

  6. i'm very surprised reflection was doing his head thing while being ridden. it must mean he's pretty confident about carrying a rider.

    i love his head thing and had no idea kemosabi did it too. (i've also never seen a horse with such long legs - not just in the video, but also in your training photos (arena) his legs are unreal!)

    you got me thinking about the head toss some arabs do (i'm thinking of baasha's relatives) - when they throw their head in a complete circle, and the top of the circle their nose is straight up in the sky. baasha has never been a horse to pull this move because he's always been very modest (he's kind of a geek). but i've never ever seen one of his brothers take that head toss and do it under saddle, that would be very surprising!

    it actually makes me glad that reflection is confident enough to be playful after all the stress he went through.

    richard's explosion was so sudden and so intense, he must have been waiting for the inevitable confrontation. that wasn't the reaction of someone who was surprised to find out he's been neglecting a client. i wonder if deep down he was feeling guilty about the situation and too lazy to change it, just waiting for a way out as soon as possible, but you kept giving him more and more time to fulfill his end, hoping for what was promised. on the other hand he could have been deluding himself and truly thought he was giving you a fair deal, and to be accused "wrongly" started the yelling and cussing. but no, that would have led to discussion, not a "get out now."

    thinking out loud here: )

  7. I'm right there with you Grey Horse - except my comment was, "And there it is."
    Can't say I go for those *cough* professional trainers...I don't care for the 1,000:1 odds. For every trainer with a clue there are 1,000 idiots (and the idiots are almost always, for some reason, absolutely oozing complete confidence). Too bad they are full of more poop than our pasture...
    Don't care much for the show set either, I'm afraid (I'm a total non-conformist, what can I say??? *grin*). 99% of them blame rider error on the horse when they don't win. Sadly, I've seen a LOT of ruined Arabians around here - too many folks trying to "cowboy" them (and boy does that ever turn out wrong!)

  8. wow I'm hoping you an your horses are out of there already

  9. That's awful!! I'm sorry you had such a bad time of it.

    I've been coveting weighted romal reins for years but in reality, yes, they're probably too heavy for my horses. I haven't trained them to carry a full bridle (curb) either.

  10. Oh, the blow-up came! Pretty much on cue.

    Something tells me that even if you had everything in writing, this is still how BG would have handled things. People like him don't seem to think of consequences. When they are done with someone and have moved on to the next 'victim', they are quick and vile about getting rid of the person they realize has started to see their holes and flaws.

  11. OMG! COlors came out fast! I had a feeling it would boil down to this, especially with the lack of any contract in writing. Oh man, Im scared to read what happened at court, but cant wait for the next installment.

  12. Wow scary! Sure turned around quickly once he got your horse.

  13. It's almost a relief at this point in the story that the truth is finally out and you know he's not a friend anymore. It seems they pushed you to the limit and when you finally spoke out--he did what he intended to do. I hope you took your horse with you!

  14. Enginerd, you're so right about that. There is no place for anger in training horses.

    lytha, Those who knew Khemosabi and have seen Reflection say his mannerisms are just like Khemo including that head swing. How he uses it and expresses himself, ditto too.

    I've never seen a horse wring it's head under saddle either. I imagine it would mean much the same thing. You're right about it meaning Reflection was confident. Not that I don't want my horse to be confident under saddle but this behavior under saddle and in hand can only mean one thing. That is trouble.

    Jen, I'm with you on trainers at this point. I was the assumption there are people who can start horses well who cannot finish them. Lots of the big barns will use such trainers to get their youngsters safe. I thought that's what I had here.

    sally, we are now

    FV, these reins were heavier than the usual weighted reins. That's why WF wanted them. They were twice as heavy as the one's she already had so she wanted to have both. I think once Legs is finished the normal weighted reins would be nice and work for him. They tend to not swing like the lighter reins although I'm told that my reins don't swing on Legs. So who needs them, right?? LOL

    BECG, I suspect you are right.

    PHM, Well, I certainly knew where we were probably headed. That's for sure.

    Crystal, actually this turn around was only with me. I had seen this temper directed at the kids he works with so it was not a total surprise, just the part about court was a surprise.

    Linda, I know you would think the next step is what you all expect BUT you're about to get a little lesson in "victim behavior."

  15. Wow! Nothing like chasing the $$$ clients like a $2 wh*re now is there? There's a lot of that in the horse industry...

    Too bad you couldn't have left on your own terms.

  16. CNJ, You're righ there is a lot of that in the horse industry but I think anywhere there is money there is probably that kind of behavior.

    Believe it or not, this isn't the end of this journey.

  17. Eager to hear the rest and hoping you got your horse out.

  18. W.O.W! Why do you think he blew up like that. That's pretty extreme. He must have had a lot of pent up anger and resentment built up against you.

    I'm very curious as to why he was able to do such a good job training this new person's horses in just a few weeks, but yet, yours had been worked for almost a year and were so far behind. I think I remember you saying that in the first few months he was training your horses he was making progress.