The Summer Show..............the Challenge.........

Part 1

Luckily my next class on Legs was early in the afternoon session. The temperatures were rising rapidly and I couldn't even imagine how hot it was going to be later in the session. I was grateful we were only about the fifth class in because we'd be missing the hotest part of the day.

There were other classes I could enter. I was already paying post entry fees. Since they were only an additional $5 per class, they weren't enough to deter me from entering classes late. The weather, however, was enough to set me on my ear. The heat was going to be what dictated the classes I rode, not my checkbook.

I don't think the hot weather particularly bothers Legs. Unlike some horses that get pretty droopy, my horse seems to relish the hot weather. Maybe it's those Arabic roots going back to the desert. Yet the rest of the horses in our aisle seemed to be wilting.

I think the only thing bothering Legs was he still hadn't managed to finish his breakfast. Between the morning schooling session, our class and schooling at the lunch break, Legs still have at least half of his hay in a tidy pile in the corner of his stall.

The compact pile was enough to tell the horse had been allowed little time to eat. Given the opportunity Legs would have strung that hay all over the stall as he searched for the tastiest morsels. I was feeling a bit like a villian when I saw that hay, poor Legs and the price of being a show horse.

The first classes seemed to be moving pretty quickly. I didn't really spend much time sitting around in my show clothes. I still hadn't even put on my show shirt when I saw the red stallion coming down the aisle. I'd already figured she'd be riding in this class too. As she rode her horse out the door, I headed for the dressing room and my shirt.

There was a little breeze as we made our way up to the arena so I wasn't baked by the time I hit the warm-up. This time the red stallion was working on the rail. That made getting into the arena much easier. I set about getting my horse limbered up and figuring out what I wanted to work on most before we entered the arena.

I think the most impact Legs' hesitation has caused has been on the jog. It was much faster than normal and rough. I worked at flexing the horse in on the circle and pushing him laterally away from it trying to get the horse to step deeper underneath himself.

I spend a lot of time working on this exercise at home. We half pass all the way across the arena, switching directions at the other end and working our way back. Usually when we've done this a few times my horse is stepping deep underneath himself where he belongs.

Warm-up arenas are not really conducive to such an exercise. This narrow warm-up makes it particularly difficult to improvise anything as well. There just is not much room for several horses to work just going down the rail without someone like me trying to work on lateral movements. Still Legs hung in there and tried to give me the two or three steps I could ask. I was making headway but it just was not enough.

By the time I'd reached the point I had to stop asking for lateral movement, I still didn't have a correct step from my horse. Legs seemed to sense the release was more about our confined space than getting 'it' right. I began to sense some frustration from my horse who is always trying to give me what I'm asking even if he doesn't undestand it. The horse simply hates not getting 'it' right.

I can only imagine what goes through his mind as he struggles with the barrier in his mouth and my requests to step deep underneath himself. Somehow in there I know that message is mixed up and I sure wish I could figure out a way to simplify it for him.

To be continued......................

Pilot Error


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An Arabian Mare...........Now What?

Part 1


It's been a while since I last posted about the situation with Faye. A Mare.......A Van...........and Life Ever since A Sad Day...........
the status of this mare has been up in the air. I was getting conflicting information on whether the mare was going to stay or not. I just didn't know what was coming next.

Since my last post on the subject, These Are the Details I Know............ a number of things had happened. Nothing definite had come from any of them that I knew of. The status of this mare was still hanging.

I'd had a couple more conversations with Sherri's step daughter. From what I could garner from our conversations, her father wanted nothing to do with Faye. I guessed the mare had become a physical reminder of that horrible accident that had caused the death of his wife. The man just couldn't bare to see the mare.

In the meantime I'd gotten an offer of a ride home for Faye from a blog reader. She was making a trip to Wyoming and would save a spot for Faye if I could pay the fuel. It turned out that Faye's location was way off to the other side of the state from where this woman was travelling but for $300 she would gladly pick up Faye.

That kind of figure may not seem like much but for me, it was an impossible number. With Dave being out of work for a year and a half, not being paid for the mare, and a lawsuit pending, I just was not in the situation where I could come up with this amount. I asked the step-daughter if there was any chance they would be willing to spring for this amount to get the mare off their farm. She said she would talk to her father but I could tell she was uncomfortable.

Later I called the step-daughter back to clarify. I hadn't explained to her why I couldn't pay for this trip. I knew it sounded odd me asking them to pay the return trip if I had made money on this mare. Since that had not been the case, our transaction had not been completed because I did not receive any funds from Sherri, I was in a bad place.

I tried to explain had not been in a bad place, the mare would have never gone to Sherri in the first place. I would willing take her back but I needed to have help paying for the trip. Before we got through this conversation our phone call was dropped as most of them were with the step-daughter, I presume because of the remote area in which she lives.

The step-daughter called me back later wanting to talk about Sherri's plans for Faye. She wanted to understand what it was about the mare that made her special to Sherri.

I explained about the Gamaar breeding in this mare and how difficult it is to find such bloodlines as close as they are in Faye's pedigree. The woman didn't know who Gamaar was so I did a little explaining about the contribution to the breed made by this much revered stallion.

At one point the woman told me she would like to keep the mare and was going to discuss it with her father. That was our last conversation about it.

Then I received a call from the woman willing to transport the mare. She needed an answer. She had someone else wanting that slot in the horse trailer. I left messages with the step-daughter and got no response so we ended up losing that spot on the horse trailer for Faye. There was no way I could tell this woman she could pick up the horse if the people having the horse in their possession were not on board. With no communication I had no idea what their plans for Faye were at this point. It just was not my place to commit to this ride without some sort of response from Sherri's family. I suspected this would all come back and bite me.

A few days later I got a phone call from the original hauler of the mare. They were making a trip this direction and were told they could take Faye as well so she was checking in with me. I let her know I could not pay to have the mare returned. If I couldn't pay $300 for that slot earlier, I sure couldn't pay the entire price for a haul.

I also told her that last I heard the step-daughter thought she wanted to keep the mare. At this point I really didn't know if everyone was on the same page or not. The hauler gave me the phone number for Sherri's husband so I could find out for sure what his plans were for Faye.

Then the hauler told me they had not been paid for the original haul as well. They figured they would just write it off. It sounded like they would bring Faye back if they could get anywhere near here with an open slot. They were taking a mare of Sherri's back to Canada. The closest they were going to get to me was Spokane. If they could get a haul on this side of the mountains, they could bring Faye as well.

That was two weeks ago. Since then I haven't heard a word. To be honest, I have not used the phone number to call Sherri's husband. I misplaced it for a while but with everything that's been going on I just couldn't bring myself to intrude on his grief. As much as I wanted to get things resolved about Faye, I didn't want to force him to deal with me. It seemed to me if he'd wanted to talk with me he would have called before this. It also seemed to me if he didn't even want to look at my mare, he sure didn't want to deal with me.

That's pretty much where it's been up until now. This morning I got a call from the hauler. Faye is in Spokane on their van. She will be home some time tonight. It's been a strange winding road getting to here. I have no idea how or when or who pays. All I know is Faye should be here sometime this evening.

Faye's Next Chapter......

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Ramblings.......... A Little on USEF.........a Little on Fear

The reason for my last post was not to scare people into thinking they can't be safe around their horses. The fact that something "might" happen will never stop me from doing what I do. The problem, certainly for me, is if I do get hurt, I rarely take good care of myself. I don't want to be a causuality of my own neglect.

I know I'm not alone in this dilemma. Many more horse people I know overlook their injuries than deal with them. In the instance of head trauma or blunt force trauma to the torso, such oversight can be deadly.

The reason for that is a blood vessel can be weakened enough to put a person at risk and there will be no physical pain associated with that injury. Only when the thing bursts is there any sign of the injury. That's why the level one trauma folks will immobilize anyone who's suffered that kind of injury even though all indications say the person is fine. Even a little movement can cause a weak blood vessel to explode. If I ever get ordered to complete bed rest when I'm feeling

The situation with horse people ignoring the dangers of head injury is significant enough that USEF now has a rule to deal with situations like this. It doesn't matter whether the accident happens on the ground or it is a riding accident. If there is an incident of head injury where there is any question of concussion the exhibitor cannot compete without a release from a doctor.

A form is filed by the show's paramedic. The show is in turn required to make a filing immediately with USEF. That exhibitor not only cannot compete at the current event but any event in the future until the necessary release has been given by a doctor.

Knowing human nature like I do, the fact USEF has taken this kind of stance tells me an exhibitor somewhere has paid with her/his life. Liability issues may be USEF's motivation for the rule but it's probably a good thing. Knowing of it's existence has helped me to see the seriousness of my flawed thinking about head trauma.

For me that brings up the subject of fear. Fear can be a good thing when it protects us from danger. BUT it's a bad thing when it is not rational. It's important that we have balance when it comes to fear and dealing with horses.

Finding that line can be difficult. What is a healthy amount of fear? What is crippling fear? Each of us must answer that question for ourselves because we are the ones that must deal with the consequences of our decisions.

For me, allowing the thoughts of what a horse "might" do stop me from enjoying them would be bad news. Horses bring me such joy I can't imagine a day without them that means I must find a way to be with them and be safe.

To do this I focus on ground manners. If my horses know their boundaries I'm less likely to get hurt. The more precise those boundaries are the safer I become.

If I'm ever feeling insecure around a horse, I channel my insecurities into fixing the problem. I go back to basics and start working on those groundwork boundaries. Nine times out of ten it will fix my insecurity and fix the horse all at the same time. That way I using my fear in a constructive way that keeps me active with my horses and makes me safer at the same time.

Pictured is Heiress. No horse has driven my fear more than this one.

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A Little on My Thoughts........Are They a Warning?

With all the chaos around here this past week I'm having a problem getting my thoughts organized for a post. What keeps running through my head is what happened to Sherri Graves and how but for the grace of God go I. Maybe there's a reason for those thoughts and the post that is meant to be is based on that very thought.

We all try not to think about 'what if' when we have horses. They are such big powerful creatures capable of inflicting such damage on our fragile bodies but the rewards of dealing with these amazing creatures certainly out weighs the risks or most of us wouldn't be where we are.

Thinking of the the circumstances surrounding the death of Sherri Graves forces me to think about the times the injuries that have occurred here on my farm. Going what I've learned that a blow to the head or the body should warrant a trip to the closest level one trauma center I have not been good about handling accidents in the way that I now know I should.

Granted that the injury involving Sherri Graves was obvious enough for those around her to know she needed a level one trauma but the fact is that many times people who die from their injuries don't realize they are all that hurt. They are up and walking around thinking they are just fine when a hidden killer has been unleashed inside them.

Any of the instances on my farm could have been one of those types of injuries. I thought I was fine and thankfully I came out the other side just fine. However, that outcome was more luck that sense.

The only one of these instances that was handled correctly by me was the one involving my daughter. Life...........and a Level One Trauma........the Details I don't know if it was because I had learned the lessons drummed into my head from my trauma working friend or if it was the fact this was my child that was hurt, but I did the right thing. Lindsay was taken to a level one trauma center where her injuries were monitored.

Even after Lindsay was home from the hospital it took her weeks to recover from her injury. Watching her condition I recognized the parallels to her behavior and mine when I was scrunched by Reflection. Trying to Get my Breeding Business Back on Track - Training Young Horses - The Fall I didn't go to even a doctor for that injury. It wasn't even clear to me until I emerged from the fog I lived in for weeks that I my thinking had been impaired. That kind of injury never should have gone without being monitored by those who know best the hidden dangers of head injuries induced by horses.

I was knocked unconscious in this incident. A Baby Boomer Dreams of Arabian Horses - The Maiden Season Part 10 I even went to an emergency room but not a level one trauma center. My head injury ended up being ignored by the examining physician.


In this accident Life Delays Twins Saga for Lessons Learned the blow was to my body. Again an ER doc overlooked the gravity of such an injury. I got stitched up but there was no attention paid to the possibility of internal injury.

Looking at these accidents and the possibilities I can't help but think I have used up a lot of luck. The thought process that "I am fine" no matter what happens to me as long as I am still breathing is surely a set-up to run out of that luck some day. I'm hoping there won't be a next time to any incidents remotely like one of these but if there is, I plan on listening to my friend's advice and the thought that Level One Trauma Docs consider an injury sustained to the head or body by a horse to be the all time most dangerous form of trauma. I'll be calling an aid car so they can get me to the closest level one trauma and hopefully Fate will not be tested beyonds her limits.

What about you? Do you tough it up in circumstances that put you at risk?

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A Mare.......A Van...........and Life

Saturday morning I put a mare on a van headed for Wyoming. You'd think I'd be doing a post about that mare and why she was leaving here. That had been my intention at some point since having her leave here sure did tug at my heart strings but sometimes life jumps up and smacks us right in the face so our story goes a different way than we intended.

I called to let the new owner know the mare safely loaded and was on her way to her new home. I ended up leaving my message with an answering machine. When I didn't get a call later, I thought it was odd. This woman was so excited to be getting this mare with her increasingly rare bloodlines this silence was uncharacteristic. Other than an occasional thought here and there about the lack of response, I spent my time wondering how my mare was doing on her trip.

Last evening the phone rang with the distinctive ring that tells me the call is long distance. I thought maybe it was this woman, Sherri Graves. She is a breeder of Arabian horses but looking down at the number it wasn't her. I answered to phone to a male voice asking for Rising Rainbow Arabians and me.

When I confirmed my identify, the voice on the other end tole me he was the brother of the woman who was to receive my mare. He said that Sherri had an accident and was was hospitalized. That's right, hospitalized! The man's voice was shaken. I could hear the worry in his voice.

The man wanted the particulars about the delivery of the horse that was coming to his sister's farm. All he knew was there was a horse arriving sometime. He had no idea any of the details and he wanted to be prepared since he is taking care of things for his sister while she is laid up.

I began asking questions. What had happened to Sherri? Yesterday she was injured by a horse. He didn't know the particulars of what happened. Nobody did.

The woman has severe head trauma and is currently in the hospital in a medically induced coma. They had to take measures to relieve the excess swelling of her brain including adding a drain.

The doctors expect to keep her in a coma for at least a week. It will depend on the swelling whether they add or subtract from that time. They also expect she will be in the hospital at least a month if not longer depending on her status. Other than that they have no idea what to expect about Sherri's recovery.

I know enough about head trauma to know what that means. There are so many variables with head trauma. When Sherri regains consciousness they'll have a starting point but there still will be lots more questions. Only time will tell what lies ahead for Sherri and her family.

I might add a few years back a trainer friend of mine had a severe head injury. His treatment was much the same as Sherri's. His recovery took months but he did get back to training horses. Even is on a video preaching the importance of wearing a helmet.

Just a few days ago I read a friend's blog post about the death of a friend's thirteen year old daughter. The girl died in an accident schooling her barrel horse. Somehow the horse fell and rolled over on the girl killing her.

As I heard about Sherri, my thoughts turned to my blogging friend, this girl and her family too. I don't know if it just feels like there are so many more tragic things happening to people involved with horses or if it's the internet making us all so much closer that we hear about them now.

What I do know is it makes me think about my own mortality and that of my family. . It's hard not to think from time to time about "what if."

Your thoughts and prayers for Sherri and her family and for my blogging friend, Linda and her friends, as well, would be appreciated.

A Sad Day

Looking Back................ on into Now

Part 1

I guess I should mention I had no fear about being hurt again when I finally did climb back on a horse after this accident. I don't know if it's because I just have no sense or if I didn't hold the horse responsible for the wreck. I just know that in my mind the wreck was a freak accident having to do with the way the gate was constructed. I didn't think it was the horse's fault.

I thought what the horse did when I asked him to go up to the gate was a totally reasonable response for any horse. His reaction to the sound of the leather of my boot grabbing the gate was reasonable as well. Added to that the fact the horse only jumped one step before settling made me feel like I could trust this horse. All these things put together influence my no qualms attitude about riding again.

That's not how it was when I took that fall a couple of winters ago. Certainly the fact I was at least fifteen years older affected the fear in that case. Then there was the head trauma that pretty much scared me silly. Between those two things, I have plenty of residual fear for both accidents.

After the regional championships I continued riding almost daily when I could fit it in around my physical therapy appointments. It was easy enough to schedule the appointments after I got a chance to ride so that I didn't miss them because I was sore..... or just plain exhausted from the stress of having the scar tissue manipulated.

I continued on it PT for months and months. I continued to make progress through all of this so imagine my surprise when I was told by the PT that my therapy had to end. I was surprised because I was not 100% recovered. I still was missing the upper ranges in my mobility.

The reason for stopping treatment turned out to be my insurance company. It seems to them a recovery of 80% of my mobility was considered "reasonable" in their book. They wouldn't pay for anymore treatment than that so that's where I was left. I tried to fight this decision but got absolutely nowhere.

I was left with only 80% of my range of motion. I was (and still am) unable to put my arm up over my head. I have limited movement in the higher ranges out to the side of my body. I am also missing some of the normal rotation in that arm.
Now imagine working with horses without having complete range of motion in the higher ranges. Things like putting blankets on and off, clipping, bathing and just every day grooming are affected by this limited movement even if the horse acts perfectly fine.

The days a horse does something unexpected when I'm using that arm can result in an unexpected injury....... or sometimes breaking loose scar tissue like Legs did the other day. However, more often than not it's an injury I get instead of an unexpected gain.

Over the years I've had many of those injuries that wouldn't have occurred if I had normal movement in my arm. The unnatural movements that happen because of the frozen aspect of the joint have caused some very painful times. Most of them have resolved on their own over time.

However, sometime this fall or early winter I endured another of those injuries. This time it did not resolve like all the others had done. In fact over time, it actually got worse. I found myself going to the doctor to get muscle relaxants. Instead I got ordered to physical therapy again.

Now it's been months since I started this second round of PT that essentially was caused because the insurance company didn't see fit to pay for my completed treatment in the first place. The extra amount of time they're paying for now is already double what was projected back then............AND I am not finished.

As of my PT appointment last night, I am to go back to the doctor for an MRI. This injury appears to be complicated by the decision made by the insurance company back then. While there has been continued improvement to the injury in PT, there are definitely oddities complicating my treatment. It's looking more an more like my rotator cuff has been affected. The rest of this chapter is yet to be written.


This picture is of Aidol right after we first got him.



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Looking Back................ a Little Trail

Part 1

The healing from this injury took forever. Notice I didn't say it "seemed like" forever. In the realm of healing times for bones, the docs said I healed like a 90 year old woman and I was not much over 40 at the time.

I was on the far side of six months before the bone was finally mended and physical therapy could begin. That was six months of sitting in that dumb chair zoned out on soap operas wishing my life away. All I wanted was for time to fly by faster so I could get back to my horses and riding. I was suffering some serious withdrawal since it wasn't even safe for me to go to the barn for fear I'd get bumped and break the tentative bond forming between those two pieces of bone.

That day finally came when the bone was firmly bonded together and I allowed to begin physical therapy. By then my arm felt permanently planted in that pose required for the gravity cast. The only movement I had was in my wrist and my fingers and just a little bit of movement in my elbow. My shoulder was locked down tight.

In the beginning I went to physical therapy five days a week. If the appointments were spread out farther I wasn't making any progress at all. my arm seemed so planted to my body I wondered if I was ever going to get back to normal again.

Breaking lose the scar tissue was, of course, painful but by now I didn't care. I would have endured anything to be cleared to ride a horse. I'm pretty sure my PT would tell you I was a model patient. I wasn't about to do anything that might make it even longer before I could ride.

Some time during this early physical therapy entries for the Region 5 All Arabian Horse Championships were due. Even though I hadn't even been back on a horse yet, I figured I would be by show time.
Since my horse, Malachite, was already qualified from showing the year before, I took my chances and entered in both western pleasure and in trail.

I think it was just a couple of weeks before the show that I was even allowed to get back on a horse. At that time the movement in my elbow had improved dramatically and I was beginning to get some movement in my shoulder but my arm was still a long way from being functional.

Getting on a horse with little use of my left arm proved to be a challenge at first. Not being able to grab a handful of mane or the horn to help pull me up wasn't my only problem. For some reason I was off balance with my left arm tucked so tightly against my body. Even using a mounting block I was a total klutz.

I should add here that this horse, Malachite was my first show horse. He was pretty ring sour so I'd decided to begin doing trail classes to give him something else to think about.

As much as the horse hated going around in circles, he hated trail more. The horse was terrified that everything and anything was going to eat him but he was obedient so he did what he was asked. The result was a horse that was very careful with his feet and he always, always looked closely at the obstacles. The horse never crossed a bridge he didn't put his nose down onto and snort.

To this day I remember that regional trail class, well, part of it anyway. There was one obstacle that sticks out in my mind. They had an elevated chute approximately five and a half feet high and about twelve feet long with branches laying across the rails. The branches went from one end of the chute to the other.

We were supposed to walk through that chute throwing the branches out of our way as we navigated the chute. I had never schooled this kind of obstacle with my horse and I wasn't really sure how he would react. Without the use of one arm, I wasn't sure this obstacle would even be safe for us to try.

I spoke to the steward about my immobile arm and the possibility I would not be able to navigate the obstacle at all. I wanted to see what my line of travel should be if I couldn't complete this obstacle knowing I could be scored "off course" if I didn't go around the obstacle the appropriate way.

The steward's response was to ask the judge. I hadn't been sure if it was OK for the judge to know I was riding with a handicap or not but since the steward said "talk to the judge" that's what I did. The judge told me I could opt out at any point if I thought the obstacle would be unsafe for me. His requirement for me to still be on course was the line to the next obstacle needed to be to the left of the obstacle I was avoiding. Armed with that information, I was ready to take on the course.

After all of my concern about how Malachite would deal with this obstacle, the horse just walked right up to it. He took one look at it and snorted. Then at my insistence he move forward, the horse dropped his head underneath the branches and slowly walked through the chute.

I had to ask him to stop several times so I could throw the branches out of the way. Because I didn't have the use of my left arm, I set the reins down on the horse's neck. Then I used my right arm to throw the branches aside.

The horse didn't even flinch at those branches dropping to the ground. He didn't take a step until I had the reins back in my right hand and cued him to move. Then he proceeded slowly and carefully, totally taking care of his injured rider.

There was something screwed up later in the course so we did not get a regional top five. Whatever it was, the mistake was not something naughty. More likely than not it was pilot error but I will never forget how easily that horse dropped his head and took on what proved to be the most difficult obstacle in the course for most horses. That day he was a star!

To be continued.................

The pictured horse is Malachite, barn name Mark.



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Looking Back................ Getting Home

Part 1

I couldn't wait to get out of that emergency room. Not remembering what happened during the procedure made me uneasy. I just wanted to get back to the privacy of my home.

First we had to get my prescription filled. It was clear my recovery was going to be difficult. There wasn't much chance I'd get through without taking the pain medications prescribed by the doctors. I could still feel what seemed like every little movement in my body translated to pain in my arm.

The ride home was not as traumatic as the one to the hospital had been. I was able to sit in the front seat but every little bump seemed like we'd gone through a huge rut. I could already see what the docs had been trying to explain about this gravity cast. I was going to have to lie low whether I liked it or not. Any kind of moving around on my part was going to translate into pain.

Still the first thing I did when I got home was call my friend, Linda. I was worried about the effect the accident had had on my horse. There was no telling what had gone through the Arabian geldings mind about this wreck.

The last thing I wanted was to ignore the possibility the horse had been frightened by this experience. I needed to know if there was a problem or not. The only way to do that was to get Aidol saddled up and ride him. I knew there was no way I could get back up on that horse so I asked my friend if she would do it for me.

Aidol knew Linda. She had been the first one to begin working him in the long lines back when the horse was first started in training. She knew his little quirks and she knew how he displayed fear. If the horse showed signs of trauma, Linda would know what to do and more importantly Aidol would trust Linda to get him through it.

The only catch was I needed to haul the horse to her. She didn't have the time to come to us and she couldn't do anything until the following Monday.With Dave working that meant I would have to be the one hauling the horse to Linda's place.

I didn't even think about how that might translate to my "treatment plan" until the time arrived to take another pain pill. Only then did it occur to me I couldn't drive while on this medication. I would have to skip a dose or two so I'd be safe to drive.

That first night at home was a killer. I wasn't allowed to lie down to sleep because it would affect the gravity on the arm. That meant I had to sleep sitting as straight up as possible in a chair. I don't know about you but sleeping in a chair is NOT my thing.

There was no "getting comfortable" with this injury. It seemed like every position put pressure somewhere it wasn't supposed to be. I didn't want to move because it was going to hurt and if I didn't move to find a better position, I was going to scream in frustration. I felt sorry for my family. I was not a good patient.

I did get through that first night and the next one too. I won't tell you I got a lot of sleep because I didn't. I counted the hours until daylight. Then when daylight came I found myself counting the hours until noon and so on throughout the day. It was a painful injury. There was just no getting around it.

I spend most of my time in that chair. Daytime, nighttime, it didn't matter. The only place in the house that worked at all seemed to be that one chair. Getting up and down out of that chair was horrible. I dreaded having to go to the bathroom or to get something for myself. This was and still is the most painful injury I've ever had. I'm relieved it's now safely in the past.

I did manage to be Aidol over to Linda's place on that following Monday. It was a difficult drive. Trying to drive my old truck that had no power steering had never seemed like much of an issue until now. The half hour drive to Linda's was bumpy old country road and felt like sheer torture. If I'd had any ideas about cheating on my recovering this trip was killing all those thoughts.

The most difficult part of the drive was the unpaved driveway leading into the farm where Linda worked. I actually bit a big hole in my lip trying to get through that portion of the drive the pain was so bad. I didn't even realize I'd bitten my lip until Linda mentioned something about the blood running down my chin. More evidence I should still be home sitting in that darn chair.

Aidol seemed to be taking everything in stride. He unloaded out of the trailer for Linda like he'd done it a million times before. Linda saddled him up without incident. If the horse had issues it wasn't obvious here.

Before she got on the horse, she lunged him. There was no evidence there of anything unusual either so she decided it was time to get up on the horse.

Because we really didn't know what to expect, Linda started off cautiously like she would with a horse that hadn't been mounted before. Aidol just looked at her with this quizzical look on his face. The gelding was probably wondering why she was taking so long to get on his back and go.

But Linda took her time wanting to be sure there were no residuals from the accident hanging around. When she did finally through her leg over the saddle the horse just stood there like a rock.

From there the ride proceeded just like any other ride.
Aidol was a champ. He walked, jogged and loped both ways without incident. There was nothing about his behavior to suggest he was traumatized by my fall at all.

I joked with Linda the horse didn't realize me falling off backwards was NOT what I was trying to do. All the new trail things I'd thrown at him seemed so foreign to him, he just thought it was yet another one of the "crazy things" mom wanted.

To be continued...........

This pic is Scandlous with Dandy. I think he's about two days old in this pic.




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Looking Back................ the Treatment

Part 1

While I felt the initial contact of both doctors' hands, I don't remember a thing from that point forward. My last memory was a smidgen of the pressure as I felt the docs begin to pull on my arm and shoulder. From there my memory went blank.

I don't remember one single thing about the entire effort to relocate my shoulder or pulling the bone back into proper position. I don't know if it hurt........and frankly I don't care. I have no memory and that's probably best. I do know that Dave told me later he could hear me screaming clear out in the waiting room. (Today, Dave has no memory of the particulars about the exam cubicle or the waiting room. Guess that tells how traumatic if was for both of us.)

As I was told later one of the side effects of the drug I was given is a temporary state of amnesia during it's use although I remained conscious and coherent during the entire time. Once the drug wore off, I was able to remember events from there forward. I have no memory of the actual tug o war itself. The docs didn't volunteer how it all went other than to say "Good" and I didn't ask.

I have been told that I was returned to X-Ray a number of times throughout the procedure. The docs needed to see how close they were getting to having the bone back in proper position. Even with that they were never able to line the bone up perfectly.

Because the break was right at the end of the ball portion that fits into the socket of the joint, the bone could not be pinned in place. The only thing they could do was get the two pieces to line up as close to perfect as possible.

Then my arm was positioned into what they called a "gravity" cast. My shoulder was rolled far forward. My arm bent across my body with my hand nearly under my chin. The bone would have to "hang" in the proper position to heal.

That meant any and all movement would affect how the bone "hung." The more movement there was the longer it would take for the break to mend because the rebonding of the bone would be constantly disrupted. It was going to be a long long healing process.

Looking at later X-Rays perfect was with a slight rotation in the ball portion of the bone. The two pieces of bone did not fit flat together. It was like setting the puzzle piece almost where it belongs but not quite fit together. The two pieces of bone did touch on one side but at the other there was a gap. It would take longer for this portion to heal because that gap would have to be filled in.

There was another issue about this process. The correct way to heal from a dislocation is to begin physical therapy immediately. That was a contra indication of what was good for the break. It was out of the question to do what was right for the dislocation. The break took precedent.

Because the shoulder issues couldn't be addressed until the bone was completely healed, there were going to be major recovery issues with the dislocation. The longer it set without use, the more difficult those issues would be.

Due to the nature of this break, it was the worst possible scenario for the dislocation. A gravity caste is the least effective of all means to stabilize an injury. It was impossible to avoid movement of the bone so the mending of the bone was going to take much longer than a normal break. I was pretty much scr*wed no matter which way you looked at it.

To be continued..................


pic is Dandy and me when he's about two months old.

Getting Home




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Looking Back................ the Diagnosis

Part 1

Once the docs got to see the X-Rays of the injury I'd received falling backwards off my Arabian horse, they could tell what was really going on with my arm and shoulder. I had a compound fracture of the humerus right below the ball portion of the bone. The tendons and ligaments were wedged in between the two pieces of bone.

A big part of the incredible amount of pain I was experiencing was because of the positioning of the tendons and ligaments between those pieces of humerus. Any movement caused the two pieces of bone to move thus pinching the stuff caught between. With all the nerve endings available at that important juncture of the body, the immense pain was a given considering the circumstances.

In addition my shoulder was indeed dislocated. That also caused added pressure on the already displaced muscles, ligaments and tendons of my arm and shoulder which also translated to considerable pain. The combination of the two injuries upped the pain I was experiencing exponentially according to the docs. All I knew was natural childbirth had been easy next to this injury. Now the question was what were they going to do about it.

According to the docs, they had two choices. They could put the shoulder and bones back into place manually OR they could do it surgically. Manually meant one doc would take my shoulder and the other would take my hand. They'd pull as hard as they could to get things back into place. Surgically meant they'd knock me out and probably do about the same thing only they'd use some instruments like vises and pulleys maybe to assist in the process. Orthopedists use all kinds of things to work their magic.

To be honest I didn't get into a detailed description of the surgical process with them. The word surgery was enough to turn me off. I hate being put under and the word "knife" is not my friend. I will avoid surgery at all costs if I can.

Dave immediately told them surgery was what WE wanted not knowing it wasn't what I wanted. It's my body. Dave soon found out he didn't get to make that call. I jumped into the conversation and let them know I didn't want anything to do with surgery. I didn't want to be knocked out or have surgery, either one.

I asked the all important question, "Can you give me more drugs?" I needed something stronger because there was still way toooooo much pain. I couldn't even imagine what it would be like with them pulling on my arm. I'd wanted to eat the radiologist and all he did was move the thing. Yet, I was willing for them to have a tug o war with my arm and shoulder if they could give me something stronger to ease the pain.

Dave nearly fainted as the words crossed my lips. He tried to convince me that surgery would be easier but I was having none of it. If they were going to treat me that way, Dave was leaving.

Now I am a coward when it comes to dentists and doctors yet even the thought of being alone through this procedure was not enough for me to change my mind. I was NOT going under the knife for something that could be fixed another way.

The docs told me they could indeed up the anty with stronger pain meds so my choice was to go for the manual repair. Once the decision was made Dave headed for the waiting room. I can't say that I blame him. I wouldn't have wanted to watch them do a painful procedure to him either. Knowing me I'd have probably fainted and made more work for the staff. I'm not sure what Dave's response would have been but with him in the waiting room, I didn't need to worry about that.

I remember hearing the docs prescribe the drug and dose to the attending nurse. Then I remember the nurse repeating it back to them incorrectly. According to her understanding I was only getting one tenth of the dose the docs ordered. The docs did NOT notice the mistake but I heard it like it had been broadcast over a bullhorn. The numbers kept repeating in my mind.

The thought of not enough pain killer freaked me out. I wasn't about to lay there and let them pull on my arm without enough drugs. I kept interrupting their conversation until someone listened to me. They were busily making their preparations and not really paying attention to me. The thought of fleeing crossed my mind but I'm not really sure I could have moved if I wanted to.

I hung in there trying to get someones attention.I did manage to get the nurse's but she didn't really listen to me. She insisted that she had heard the doctor's orders correctly. Now I really was beginning to panic.

Finally I got through to the docs with my question about the drug's dosage. I asked them to please repeat the correct dose to the nurse and to have her repeat it back to them. They did as asked and it fixed the misunderstanding with the nurse although she never did admit to getting it wrong in the first place. At least I was getting the correct dose after all.

I watched the nurse putting the corrected dosage of the drug into my IV. Then I heard the docs ask if everyone was ready. The last thing I remember was one doc's hands took my shoulder as the other's picked up my hand...............

To be continued..........

This picture is of my foundation mare, Scandalous. It was taken about the time this accident happened.

The Treatment





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Looking Back................ the ER

Part 1

Dave tends to panic whenever things go awry. Seeing me on the floor crying, and clutching my arm didn't do anything but scare him half to death. His immediate reaction was to call 911...... but that's the last thing I wanted to do. I didn't have much confidence that 911 would get me help any quicker than I could get it for myself......with Dave's help, of course.

When he realized I'd be mad if he called 911 for help, Dave tried to get me up so we could go for help. I screamed as he grabbed my arm and told him he needed to get my horse first. I didn't want to leave with Aidol running in the field all tacked up. Before I'd agree to leave, the horse would have to be cared for first.

I'm pretty sure that's not what Dave wanted to do but he knows me well enough to know I won't when I say I won't. He headed out to the field to catch up the Arabian horse and get him put away properly so he could get me the help that I needed.

Dave can be a bit on the slow side sometimes. It seems whenever an emergency happens he seems to find an even slower gear. I must have really scared him on this day though because that's not what happened. He was back before I expected and he had done what I'd asked. Aidol was untacked and put away and more importantly looked none the worse for wear. That was good because I was worried about what kind of effect this accident had on him.

We decided it would probably be best to use the truck to take me to the emergency room. That way I could lay down in the back seat while Dave drove. Getting me into the truck was quite an ordeal and I had to really concentrate not to scream. Each little movement was causing shooting pains in my arm and shoulder.

I never really noticed my truck didn't have the best suspension until that day on the way to the ER. Each little bump in the road jarred me enough to induce more pain. I tried hard to scream at Dave knowing he was trying his best to make it a smooth ride BUT it was the worst trip I've ever made to the hospital. Childbirth was much easier than this!

It's a twenty minute trip from our farm to the closest ER facility. That twenty minutes seemed to last forever. I felt like I was being tortured and if anyone had asked I probably would have told any and all secrets. It was that bad.

Getting to the hospital didn't make it much better. Even though Dave parked right in the front where the emergency vehicles are supposed to part, the whole aspect of getting myself up and into a wheel chair was nothing but more torture. I didn't know why this injury was hurting like this but the only thing saving me at this point was knowing that help would soon follow.

I am not a person who takes drugs for every little thing. I am a bite the bullet type person. I hate the way that drugs make me feel more than I hate pain. This injury, however, felt more like torture than the usual pain I encounter. When the triage nurse looked at my arm and asked about drugs, I willingly nodded my head.

Much to my surprise, they administered drugs before I even got checked in. They hustled me back into a cubicle while Dave did the paperwork part. I was given an IV with a pain killer before I ever saw a doc. Once that was done, I sat there for a while before they got to me.

Later I wondered why drugs had been their first response. I was told they could already see that my arm was broken and my shoulder was dislocated. How much other damage there was needed to be determined but they couldn't do any of that without alleviating some of the pain. They were really worried about me going into shock from the jostling that was happening just moving me around let alone what would happen during their exploratory process.

Even with drugs movement was painful. Not the screaming kind of pain I had been experiencing pre drug induced state......but bad enough I wanted to be somewhere else. I tried hard not to bite the head off of the X-Ray technician for pressing my shoulder just so..........and bending my arm like this...... You have to wonder what they're thinking wanting to move broken dislocated limbs into pretzel like states.

To be continued................

The Diagnosis



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Looking Back................ Getting Help

Part 1

When I hit the ground after my forced dismount from the Arabian horse, I landed smack dab on the point of my shoulder with the rest of my body smushing me into the ground. Pain shot through my arm as well as up my shoulder and into my neck.

Even though I was dazed, I rolled over onto my back thinking I'd be able to get my bearings. I knew instantly that was a mistake. The pain seemed to course throughout my body at the first sign of movement. I didn't know what I'd done for sure but I knew it was bad.

I needed help but there was no one anywhere near. I tried calling for Lindsay or Dave but evidently neither could hear my calls. Lindsay was out at the barn and Dave was inside the house. There was no response for either of them.

I laid there for a minute trying to figure out what I was going to do. My head cleared enough I could assess the damage a little anyway. From what I could tell my left arm was broken but I was in way more pain that one would expect from just a broken bone. I didn't really know what to think except that I needed to get help........and to get it soon.

I thought maybe if I laid there for a little bit someone might notice me but it didn't take long to decide I could not tolerate waiting, hoping for help. I forced myself to my feet despite the blinding pain that swept over my body.

Stars began swirling around my head as I stumbled towards the gate to the pasture. I remember thinking about childbirth and breathing so I began imitating those old familiar breathing patterns hoping they'd bring me some relief.

I can't really tell you if the deep slow breathing helped or not. What I remember is the searing pain that amplified with each step. Every little movement, concussion had a pain that went with it. The only thing that kept me moving was knowing the pain wouldn't stop even if I did.

I got as far as the back door where I collapsed onto the deck. I managed to get the door open on my way down so I began screaming again for help. Even the force of the screaming caused pain in my body. I fought the urge to pass out knowing I could lay there for hours without anyone knowing I was there. I wasn't about to let that happen. I needed help and I needed it now.

Dave is a tv zoombie. He gets in front of the tube and totally forgets there's a world out there other than on the screen. Breaking his concentration is hard enough being in the same room with him, let alone being outside on the back porch. Again I forced myself to my feet and pushed myself through the pain to get myself into the house.

This time I didn't get nearly as far. Just a few staggered steps down the hall and I fell again. This time I screamed out as I fell. Somehow that screamed pierced Dave's concentration. I heard his frantic response to my horrifying scream. Help was finally on the way.

To be continued.............

The ER



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Looking Back................ Aidol and the Gate

Part 1

Aidol took to schooling trail obstacles exactly like I'd thought. The Arabian horse wasn't sure what to think of these new challenges at first but he caught on quickly. In a short time he was going over poles like he'd been doing it all his life instead of snorting and going sideways which had been his first response.

Aidol was learning to trust I'd take care of him if things weren't what he expected. It was time to add more difficult obstacles but before I could do that he had to learn a couple of things.

The horse had just been trained to go around in circles and, of course, he knew how to back up. He really knew nothing about side passing or turns on the forehand or haunches so we worked on those things in between working on going over poles.

Aidol was a quick study so before long he was side passing over poles and doing that L back through I'd built.Once the horse had learned these things it was time to move on to the gate.

Most trail courses have a gate and it probably looks boring to watch a horse and rider maneuver such an obstacle, but there's a fine art to negotiating a gate in a "pretty" fashion. I'd learned from LaRae Fletcher-Powell of Silver Aspen Ranch how a gate is done can set the tone for an entire class.

Before I tell about my experience with Aidol and that gate, it would probably be good to describe this gate. It was the typical type design for a trail class. A free standing thing,Dave built it from a pattern I gotten from my friend, Naomi. It was constructed of wood right down to the latch.

The mechanism for the closure was within the gate portion of the thing. That meant there were small gaps between the layers it took for that lever to slide back and forth easily to open and close the gate.

Aidol had seen that gate plenty of times. It was "stored" in the pasture used for his turn out but "seeing" and doing with a rider on his back just wasn't the same thing to the horse. When I asked Aidol to line up parallel to the gate so we could side pass into position to open the thing, the horse had no clue why or what I was asking.

It was clear in the horse's mind the way to approach that gate was to walk straight up to it facing it. He had no concept of opening it or going through it. The gate was just something to mess with or lean on. Every time I tried to get him in that parallel position the horse swung his hip or stepped out with a shoulder trying to do it his way.

It took a while to get Aidol convinced that doing it my way was the rule of the day. The horse didn't get sweaty but he was clearly frustrated at not being able to control the situation. Once we were lined up the way I wanted I just let him stand there to relax for a while before I asked him to get closer to that gate.

I'd learned from LaRae the most important thing in training a trail horse is taking those long breaks. Letting the horse relax and stop thinking about what is coming next can keep the horse from turning into one of those trail horses that goes on auto pilot and blows the class. It also teaches the horse to go slowly, listen and not rush obstacles.

Standing there that day parallel to the gate was really helpful for Aidol. We stood there long enough he got comfortable with seeing the gate from this new position. By the time I asked the horse to side pass a step or two over to the gate, he was no longer thinking about swinging his body around to face the thing.

His side pass was a little rough, more a front and back thing than a true side pass but the horse at least understood his position next to the gate. When I requested the next sideways step the horse took too big a step pushing me into the gate.

Somehow the toe of my boot found one of those small gaps in the gate. The leather of my boot grabbing the wood make kind of a screeching sound that spooked my horse. Aidol leapt forward but to his credit he stopped after only one step. That, however, was not enough to save me. The gate had grabbed my toe.

When the horse jumped forward my stuck foot caused me to be stripped out of the saddle on my left side. Straddling the cantle the gate suddenly released my toe. My foot flew back towards the horse like it was spring loaded and squarely whamped my horse on the side. Aidol took off as I fell head over heals behind him.

To be continued....................

Getting Help




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Catching Up...........

It's been two and a half months since I got home from my trip to Tulsa and the US All Arabian National Horse Show. While it's taken me a while to recuperate a lot has happened here.

Shortly after I arrived home, Dave was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes...not that it was a surprise to me. I've been warning him he was heading down that path. Since his diagnosis, he's lost about twenty pounds and would be feeling better if he wasn't haven't chronic problems with his back. Something he still wasn't willing to address at this time but it left Lindsay and I short handed.

The first clear day after my return home I was determined to put as many horses outside as I could get . Because we're on a small property for a herd the size of mine, the turnouts need to be in shifts. Sometimes those shifts can be in one day.......other times we alternate days to make sure all the horses get time to play.

Getting the most horses out at one time meant putting out mares and fillies. The boys would have to wait for another day. I was pretty sure with as much time as these horses had been cooped up they weren't going to ready to come in until dinner time.

My farm is cross fenced so I can keep horses that don't get along separated. Surprise never knows when to quit bossing her peers around so she's had to be removed from that group. Her knew pasture mate is Scarlet. Scarlet also believes she "should" be in charge but she is so enamored with the older, wiser Surprise that lets her run the show.

Surprise and Scarlet were the first pair of horses I put out on that day. Surprise minded her manners on the way to their paddock but she balked at the puddle in the gateway. Normally puddles can set poor Surprise on her ear but she was so determined to be free she didn't take much coaxing.
Scarlet on the other hand was having great problems controlling her excitement. All the way up to the paddock I was correcting her for rushing and wildly tossing that head of hers. Just before we reached the paddock the excited filly jumped in front of me, twirled around and nearly flattened me with a nasty assault with both hind legs.

I saw it coming and managed to turn just enough to partially deflect some of the force of the blow to both my legs. One foot glanced off my right leg and the other ricocheted from my calf to behind my knee on up to the inside of my thigh. Somehow I stayed on my feet, corrected Scarlet and got her into her paddock with Surprise.

In defense of Scarlet I'd like to say this accident really was my fault. I knew she was jumping out of her skin anticipating getting to run and play and I took my mind off of what she was doing. For some reason I was suddenly struck by how much she'd grown since I'd turned her out and I took a long look at her. That brief distraction was enough for her to get ahead of me.......and I paid the price.

I forced myself to get rest of the young fillies and mares out. The older mares I left to Lindsay. I knew that even though they had been cooped up like all the others, they would not give Lindsay a hard time.

When I was finished turning horses out, I headed for the house to survey the damage to my legs. As usually I did not go to the doctor. I figured nothing was broken and I'd do better keeping ice on my injuries than sitting in the doctor's office waiting for hours for him to tell me to ice them.

I normally do not really like ice on my body. I'm freezing most of the time and do not relish anything that will make me any colder but on this day and for days to come ice was my friend. My legs swelled so much I could hardly get my jeans up. The first day I actually wore jeans out of the house was for the Jody Strand clinic.

If I had any notion to work horses, this injury would have slowed me down for a week or two. I still don't believe I went to the clinic and expected to ride with both legs as bruised up as they were. This is definitely the most bruised I have ever been by a horse........aside from riding accidents of course. To this day I still have some discoloration on the inside of my left thigh.......but then I still have a little discoloration from my experience with Reflection and that's been two years ago.

Even though I started off slowly getting back into my routine of working horses, I managed to aggravate an old injury. I have irritated this injury before and its always managed to heal on its own. This time, however, not only did it not get better, it actually began to get worse. One night I was actually awakened by throbbing pain in my arm and shoulder.

Despite my best efforts to avoid the doctor's office, it seemed the only way I was going to get any relief. I was hoping my doctor would give me a prescription for muscle relaxers and I'd be on my way. Instead he gave me a referral for physical therapy.

I started the PT right before the Christmas holidays. Just the appointment to determine the status of my injury made me so sore it compromised my ability to work horses. While I would have liked to be up to three loads of horses a day at this point, I have barely made it to two and that second load I only added last week.

Throughout this time Richard hasn't been available either. There's been an assortment of issues there but the crux of it is that when I did begin to work horses, I have been working them alone at Richard and Angie's place. Last week was the beginning of Richard working any of my horses on a regular basis again. However, he's not working the number he was before, nor the days.

Dave's back issues have only gotten worse despite several trips to the doctor. He finally decided to listen to me and go to the doctor requesting a referral for physical therapy. He started that only last week. He still is unable to do any chores on the farm and both Lindsay and I are getting a bit fried.

The current horses being worked are Percy, Louie, Tag, Legs, Suede and Reflection. I will be posting specifics on the progress of these horses once I get the series done about the Jody Strand Clinic (which I promise is coming next!)

As a little teaser I'd like to say the safest ride yesterday turned out to be on Reflection. Tag reared and Legs did a flying broncy leap that would make any bucking horse proud. Both horses were in a lot of trouble. Tag's issue has to do with fear of other horses......and Legs' problem is the same old troll thing. This time the troll was dirt hitting a closed arena door that normally isn't closed...........poor baby.

Next I'm going to answer a bunch of questions from readers that have piled up. Then I'll be on to the Jody Strand clinic I must say I loved Jody Strand. I'm looking forward to sharing the experience.


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My Injury

On Wednesday I was trying to fit the "secret" colt with a show halter. I don't know if I've mentioned before this colt is really, really naughty about having his poll touched. I've never seen a horse quite so territorial about his poll before and I've known for a while there would probably be problems putting a show halter on this horse.

With all the issues the horse arrived here with, this thing with his poll was just another thing on the list. As the other things have fallen away as he's learned what's expected of him here, this one issue has resisted all efforts to get it under control.

I've trained the horse to stand up for showing in halter with a schooling halter. You'd think since it slips over the ears like a bridle(only not as restricted as a bridle would be) that a show halter would not be a problem. But show halters are finer AND they are usually buckled right at the poll. I knew the colt would not tolerate working right over his poll for this.

I tried a couple of different ways to put the show halter on this horse. First I tried slipping it over his ears just like the schooling halter goes. The show halter is just not as flexible as the schooling halter and it just wouldn't give sufficiently.

Then I tried pulling the open halter further down the horse's neck and fastening it there. That worked OK but the halter was too big with the noseband hitting over an inch under the horse's tearbone.

It's when I tried the smaller halter that I got into trouble. It wouldn't go far enough down the horse's neck to reach a spot he was comfortable having me mess with getting it buckled. The darn colt wheeled around away from me knocking me off balance. As he completed his 180° turn he slammed the side of his head right smack dab in the middle of my face..........breaking my nose.

I heard the awful crack as the horse connected with my face. The stars began to swirl as blood gushed from my nose. I did the best I could to get myself out of that stall, secure the door and get myself into the house. All the time the stars continued to swirl and then even my stomach began to turn.

By the time I reached the house, I needed to get to a chair. Luckily Lindsay was in the house and was able to get me an ice pack, something for my gushing nose.................and drugs..........my head was beginning to pound.......and pound it has for three days.

I spent most of the first day just sitting in a chair. The ice pack became my best friend as it seemed to be the only thing that eased the throbbing pain at all. Normally, the cold and I just do NOT get along.........but in this instance I have come to appreciate how it helped me to get through.

It was several hours before I could even walk without my nose beginning to bleed again. I could feel the blood running down my throat if I even shifted my position in my chair. Having broken my nose before, I can say this is the hardest I have ever been hit.

The surprising thing is the ice really did great things for the swelling. While I do have some discoloration across my nose and underneath my eyes, it is nowhere near what one would expect. However, the headache I have totally makes up for the lack of bruising. Spreading my hand over the center of my face, that entire area still throbs 60 hours later.

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Horse Related Injuries

Loving horses can have it's down side. Mostly, for me, that would be the possibility that I might get hurt. I've been pretty lucky over the years and nothing really serious has happened to me. Or maybe it would be more correct to say that nothing I THOUGHT was really serious has happened. In hindsight I must admit there's a couple of instances where I should have gotten medical attention when I did not. I am lucky because nothing bad happened those times.

My friend, Lori, was kicked in the head by a horse about a month ago. From what I can tell with no health insurance she opted not to go to a doctor. I've been worried about her since I first heard of this accident. No one knows better than me what a head injury can mean. Also no one knows more than me what dangers lie in not seeking treatment for such an injury so I have been worried about my friend.

Efforts to contact her have been fruitless adding to my concern. Then yesterday she posted a picture of her injury.

Now I'm even more worried. Lori is having trouble thinking and I certainly understand why. Not being able to contact her means I cannot talk to her about my concerns either, which doesn't help my worrying.

I know that anytime during the healing process things can go wrong with a head injury. Certainly an injury like this probably includes broken bones in Lori's face as well as trauma to her brain. Neither of these types of injuries should be left untreated. The long term ramifications of such are something I don't even want to thing about.

Since I cannot make contact with my friend about the only thing I know I can do is pray and ask others to pray for my friend as well. Hopefully that will be enough to see her safely through recovery. So please......pray for Lori. I think she really needs our help.

A Day in the Life........up jumped the devil!

Since my surgery, Richard has been coming by most days and picking up a load of my young Arabian horses to take back to his arena to work. I was hoping that by now I would be doing better so that I could resume that task myself. However, I am having difficulties managing pain and I don't even know when I will be able to be involved with working my horses again. For now, I must wait for updates from Richard when he returns the horses.

Today, Richard and Jessica were running late. It was already afternoon before they even came by to get those horses. By the time it began to get dark with still no signs of their return I began to worry. When the rig did pull into my driveway, I headed out the door to help unload the horses and get my update curious about what had kept them so late.

In the darkness behind the horse trailer I could see Angie's long blond hair. Then the scurrying forms of Jessica and Rachel working to unload horses. Richard was nowhere to be seen. Having Rachel and Angie present and no Richard wasn't a good sign.

I heard Angie explain that Richard had been dumped by one of my young horses. It had taken two people to assist him to even get him into the house. He was in a lot of pain but not wanting to go to a doctor.

Everyone was in a hurry to get the horses unloaded so they could get back to Richard. I had to settle for brief snippets of information about the accident and the horse involved as people hustled through getting horses unloaded and back into their stalls.

From what I can tell Jessica's version has Richard mounting Tag when the horse took a step or two and Richard accidentally caught him with a spur. The horse has never felt spurs before so it startled him resulting in crow hopping a step throwing Richard off balance. As he tried to save himself he inadvertently poked the horse again, this time the resulting hop took them into the wall.

Angie thought that Richard wasn't wearing spurs because he doesn't normally wear spurs on young horses. That it was some baby horse thing that had startled Tag.......just one of those things you must expect when working young horses. Either way, both seemed to think that Richard has broken some ribs and is going to be out for a while.

Later, I heard that Pam (licensed massage therapist) had worked on Richard. Her guess was at least 2 broken ribs, possibly a 3rd and that Richard will be out for at least 3 months.

Jessica says Richard has plans for how things will go with the horses while he is unable to work. I'm supposed to get updates in the morning. At this moment, all I can think about is I hope Richard isn't hurting as much as I am and wondering when I will be able to pick up where Richard left off.

Angie said that Richard was more bothered about not being able to work horses than he was about being hurt. She expects that will change tomorrow when the real soreness sets in...........me, I wonder. I know how much Richard loves what he does, he's going to appreciate being laid up about as much as I do. It's going to drive him nuts not being able to be hands on with those horses.

As proof of the man's dedication, after he fell, he pulled himself over to the corner. Propped himself up against the wall and monitored Jessica lunging the horse and then getting on and riding him. Richard wanted to make sure that the horse had no residual issues because of this wreck.

Just for the record, the horse was fine. We'll have to wait and see what tomorrow holds for MiKael and Richard.............and these Arabian horses. One thing for sure, I can tell you I'm going to chew Richard's *ss about not going to the doctor. He can't afford to be taking any chances that bone splinters might cause damage to his lungs.......and me, it just may be time I ask for some different pain meds. We really are a pair..........

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Life...........and a Level One Trauma........the Details Part 5

Part 1

We decided to wait with Lindsay until they transferred her to the Intensive Care Unit. We would go with her so we knew how to find her again. (That place was like a maze, I swear.) It was during this time that Lindsay began to talk...........just a little.

The first thing she said was that her eye felt like there was a piece of sand in it. This was at around 10:30 and this whole thing had started at 6. That's a long time to have something irritating and not talking about it.

When the doctor came back in I asked if maybe she could get her eye flushed out. She opened up Lindsay's eye exposing a large piece of debris in the one corner so she ordered the flush and an examine to be sure there was no damage to the eye.

At first Lindsay wasn't very happy about the prospect of getting liquid squirted into her eye and let me tell you that kid can be difficult to deal with if she decided not to co-operate. I'm not sure if the saline solution actually hurt or if it was Lindsay just reacting to the cold.

I looked at the amount of liquid the doctor had ordered to be used and thought it was probably over kill. But then I couldn't believe it when the nurse began to flush that eye. So much dirt and crud came out of it. With each new syringeful of water there was more stuff. I swear there was more dirt in her eye than what I could see in her ear. No wonder that eye was all red and irritated.

Once the eye was free of junk, Lindsay began complaining about the machine taking her blood pressure. I had noticed all through the evening that sometimes she was acting like she was in pain but had been unable to pinpoint the source of it until now.

I asked Lindsay what about the blood pressure cuff could be hurting her. Her response was each time it tightened she felt a sharp shooting pain in her arm. I pulled back the blankets to see the cuff was resting right against the IV port. Each time that cuff tightened it was pushing on that needle. No wonder Lindsay was wincing in pain.

I use these examples to show how out of it Lindsay had been. Even though she was in considerable discomfort she had been unable to communicate the problem. While I'd seen that she was in pain, I couldn't figure the source out without her help. It was a relief to know what was causing the problems and to get them fixed even if it had taken four hours or more.

By the time they did get everything ready to transfer Lindsay to intensive care, she also had remembered that she had been trying to lead Bey Aana through the gate when Heiress had rushed up from behind. Heiress had pushed past Aana rushing the gate. That's all that Lindsay can remember. The rest is what we put together.

So for Lady of Chaos, we figure that Lindsay must have been right on the gate's threshold when Heiress bumped into her throwing her directly into the fence post. She struck the post squarely with the left side of her face and the force rolled her around and flat out onto her face where she landed parallel to the fence. The impact of the fence post is what knocked Lindsay unconscious.

Heiress must have headed straight to her stall and her dinner while Aana followed to see Lindsay on the ground. The mare could sense that something was wrong so she stood watch over Lindsay until Dave came and found them.

That night in the emergency room it looked like Lindsay was going to have a black eye from the impact but it turned out that irritation of her eye was nothing but dirt. By the next morning all the redness was gone. Her check was still red but didn't show any signs of bruising until today.

Lindsay spent a day and a half in the intensive care unit and then another 24 hours in the hospital. She still has trouble with double vision, headaches, dizziness and such and sleeps most of the time. But each day she is a little bit better. We have the allergy problem under control now that I've included antihistamines with all the other meds and keep reminding her of when to take more.

Even through all of this Lindsay was thinking of me. Yesterday morning she came up to me and said "Mommy, I don't know how you live with double vision. It is so hard seeing like this....." Then she gave me a big hug. She's a pretty special kid.

My guess is that her recovery is going to take several weeks. Once that is done we have one more thing to deal with. The CAT scan found a small lump on Lindsay's left lung. I'll let you know how that turns out.



As a post script I found out that when haltering the mare,Heiress had been giving Lindsay some trouble for a few weeks. Instead of asking for help, Lindsay had found her own solution....... she had not been haltering the mare and letting her run into the barn on her own. That had set this whole thing up. So while Heiress was the culprit she was doing something she's been allowed to do.

We also found out that the doctors telling us Lindsay didn't need to wear a helmet on the ground with the horses is not accurate. There was more bruising to her brain than her face. That clearly speaks to her brain needs to be protected. We've also decided to put Lindsay in body armour. We may not be able to keep her from the horses (nor would we try) but we can be sure that she is safe.

The picture is Andy and Dave sometime last summer.......Andy's leg isn't doing well with all this stuff with Lindsay. I am trying to find some place local to get Manuka honey as recommended by Lady of Chaos. I hope it's not too late.

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Life...........and a Level One Trauma........the Details Part 4

Part 1

I don't know how long it was before the doctors came out to talk with me. I just know that it seemed like it took forever. They introduced themselves to me and said that they were ordering some tests including a full CAT scan to get a better picture of Lindsay's injuries.

They told me I could go in and sit with Lindsay until she was taken for her tests but they wanted to warn me about what I would see when I entered the room. There were lots of tubes, wires and machines and they didn't want me to be alarmed.

I assured them I could handle seeing Lindsay hardwired in such a manner. Nothing would ever be as bad as that first day after her surgery at Children's Hospital in Seattle. I promised they didn't have to worry about me freaking out so they let me go and visit with my daughter.

The chaplain followed right along probably thinking he might be needed if the whole thing became too much for me. Or maybe he thought he might lend some comfort to Lindsay but as far as she was concerned the only one who existed in that room was me.

Poor Lindsay was so frightened she was shaking violently. At first I thought she was just cold, but it turned out to be totally based in fear. I don't know what was going through her head and I doubt if she remembers but it was clear that the poor kid was scared to death.

Her face was cleaner than it had been but she still had some muddy tear stains. Her ears and her hair were almost gritty looking. Her left eye was really blood shot and looked like it was going to turn black. The whole area under her eye looked bright red like it might bruise as well. Dave and I thought that must have been where she hit her head.

I tried to take her mind off what was happening in the room. There were still at least three professionals milling around her checking monitors and doing I don't know what else.

Instead of watching them I tried to get her to pay attention to me. I held her hand bending over her and looked directly into her eyes and asked her to breath with me. Just like good old Lamaze classes breathing. In so very slowly and out oh so slowly with me coaching her along.

At first she was reluctant but I kept insisting. Once she really began to give the breathing exercise her full attention, the shaking began to slow down. It didn't take too long before the shaking had all but ceased. It didn't take much to get her off focus and the shaking would start up again.

One of the nurses asked me if I wanted to save her clothes. There in a pile on the floor were Lindsay's clothes all cut to shreds. I think that was the hardest part of being in that room. Seeing her clothes cut to ribbons like that was like getting smacked in the face with reality.

I told the nurse not to bother. About the only thing those clothes would be good for was to use for a picture on my blog. That made Lindsay giggle.The nurse probably thought I was kidding.........but for a brief instant I was really wishing I'd had my camera. Words cannot describe the picture of Lindsay's shredded clothes laying in that heap on the emergency room floor.

Everything was cut...........her jeans, her underpants, her Victoria's Secret bra (that I paid an arm and a leg for!) her favorite T-shirt and her socks. Still can't imagine why the socks had to be cut off...........but I guess they didn't want to jostle her.

All I could think was it was a good thing the paramedics had taken her tall Muck brand boots off in the ambulance. I'd hate to see what those things would have looked like if she'd arrived wearing them. Not to mention I'd hate to have to replace them.........those things cost nearly as much as the rest of her clothes put together..........except maybe that bra.

I told Lindsay this was really a cheap trick to get new clothes. Again she laughed...........my black humor had gotten her through some scary times. I was glad to know that it still worked. I teased her about needing more attention in my posts but this was a h*ll of a way to go about getting it. For that she actually giggled.

She still wasn't talking much..............one word answers if anything at all. I wasn't sure if it was because she was afraid or because she didn't know the answers to our questions. Sometimes it was like she just wasn't there. I would be glad when they finally came and took her for the CAT scan. At least them we would have some answers.

Dave arrived sometime right before they came to get Lindsay for the CAT scan. The poor guy was frazzled by all the procedures he'd had to go through to even get on the base. Then he'd been directed to the wrong parking lot and gotten lost.

Before they took Lindsay into the scan they tried to prepare her for the test. From the sounds of it their machine was one of the most modern ones that are very open. Once they knew that Lindsay had tolerated the "tunnel" type of MRI machines, they knew she would be OK with this test.

It didn't take long before the neurologist came to talk to us about the results of Lindsay's CAT scan. In layman's terms there were two small bruises on the left side of her brain. One had actually bled......but just a little. They thought the bleeding was stopped. But to be sure they would do another CAT scan at 3 am

Lindsay would be taken to the intensive care unit for at least twenty four hours to be monitored. What happened after that would depend on her progress. And that was that.............we could stay with her through the night (which Lindsay didn't want) or we could call whenever we liked and get updates on her condition.

To be continued...................

Part 5

Lindsay has struggled with headaches today. It seems to be a bit more than yesterday but I think it's being complicated by allergy headaches. If she isn't improved tomorrow, I'll be calling the neurologist.

This picture is Lindsay with Surprise.

Lady of Chaos wants to know what happened............she's not the only one. I'd like to know too. That's one of those things about brain trauma. You rarely get to have all the answers.

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