Lindsay's Birthday - Aana's Devotion

Part 1


If I had any remaining doubts that Aana would take good care of my impaired daughter, they were now gone. Lindsay had reacted to her loss of balance by grabbing at the reins. The mare responded appropriately by not screeching to a halt at the rude intrusion to her mouth. As Lindsay fell forward that pressure was gone but the mare  came down to the walk as Lindsay grabbed her neck. I couldn't have asked for anything more.

I wasn't ready to set the pair loose yet but it was clear that Aana could be trusted on the lunge line. For me that was a huge relief. Lindsay does a lot of work on this farm helping me with my dream. I  was glad I could help her work towards hers.

Lindsay was not deterred at all by the failed trot. She wasn't ready to try it again but she wasn't finished riding yet.
When Lindsay had asked for the trot, Aana had moved closer towards me so when she broke down to the walk she was halfway between the rail and my position in the middle. That meant Lindsay needed to head her horse back towards the rail so she had room to maneuver.

This time Aana did not hesitate. She turned and moved to the rail as Lindsay asked. From there Lindsay worked on changing directions, stopping, and backing, honing skills she hasn't used in years.

By this time I was exhausted. My knees were shaking and my pain rising but I was determined that Lindsay would decide when to quit. Just about the time I was hitting the point I might need to reconsider, Lindsay spoke up and said she wad tired and wanted to stop.

 I sighed in relief. I was beyond done but I didn't have to end my daughter's first ride on her horse. I was grateful for that and for the positive experience this had been for Lindsay and Aana.

Lindsay's legs were so weak she had trouble dismounting. Her leg got stuck on the mare's croup but Aana stood like a rock. She didn't even flinch when her girl thumped to the ground. She just stood there patiently waiting to see what came next.


Aana was dialed into her role and it didn't stop when Lindsay hit the ground. The mare was locked in on Lindsay. The expression on her face was soft and devoted. Everyone looking on saw it. Aana had eyes for Lindsay and Lindsay only. As far as the mare was concerned no one else existed. Even as we went back to the barn to unsaddle the mare, Aana's stayed focused.

Rhet screamed at her when she was turned right towards him to position her in the aisle to be cross tied but the mare didn't even notice. Normally she'd have stressed over such an advance but with Lindsay there she must have felt safe.

The whole time we worked to untack and groom her, Aana watched Lindsay, never once breaking her gaze or flicking an ear away from my daughter. When we were finished, Lindsay took her out of this barn and back to the pne she lives in.

 The mare's head was low, eyes soft and her face had that look Arabian horses are known for when they are with their person.  It was that same look that Legs had given to me back in February when I was determined to ride. It was the look of a babysitter horse determined to take good care of her/his person.

It was a good day.....

Lindsay's Birthday - Aana on the Lunge Line

Part 1


The Arabian mare didn't really want to go to the rail. She was much more comfortable packing Lindsay being close to me. She wasn't totally ignoring Lindsay's cues but she was slow to respond, taking her time moving towards that rail.

To aid Lindsay in getting this done, I walked up closer to the mare, pushing her out with the pressure of my presence. As I did this, I explained to Lindsay how to get more from her cues. Light little bumps of her inside leg and my pressure finally moved Aana on out to the rail where she belonged.

With the mare where I wanted her, I moved back to the center of the round pen. From that position Aana responded to my voice to keep her rated so Lindsay was secure. Anytime the mare looked like she was going to step up her rate I spoke to her, reminding her to listen to me.

I gave Lindsay a couple of trips around the pen to be sure she was safe and secure. Then I instructed Lindsay to change directions. For me the mare had done more of a rollback than a turn but for Lindsay she carefully changed directions without speeding up or throwing Lindsay off balance.

 It was clear this mare trusted Lindsay so much she was not the least bit worried. No cue bothered her. She was confident about everything she was asked to do. Something I had never seen any time I saw the mare ridden. Actually the way she had been for me was the quietest I had ever seen her until now with Lindsay in the saddle.

Aana was not the only one who was confident. Lindsay was feeling so good about this ride she asked me if they could trot. I had to respond I didn't really know.

Lindsay has never really ridden a trot. Both her pony and her therapy horse had slow, even, little western jogs. Aana sure hadn't produced that kind of gait here and I doubt she had ever been taught such a thing.

With Lindsay's impaired balance I had no idea how she would handle the kind of trot I knew we would get from Aana. Still, things were going so well I felt I had to give her the opportunity to try. I told her how to ask for the trot and prayed I hadn't just screwed up.

The mare responded instantly to the pressure of my daughter's legs coupled with a cluck. The transition was smooth but too much for Lindsay. Not knowing how to post she bounced in the saddle.

Aana wasn't bothered by the bouncing one bit. She maintained a steady gait but Lindsay lurched forward falling onto the mare's neck. Aana reacted to this quicker than I could. Immediately the mare came down to the walk and did it so smoothly Lindsay was able to regain her balance, laughing the whole time.

To be continued.........

Aana's Devotion

Lindsay's Birthday - Defining Aana's Role

Part 1
Lindsay's balance is impaired. After the surgery to remove her brain tumor, she suffered posterior fossa syndrome which is medical jargon for extreme swelling. The resulting damage included almost total destruction of the balance center of her brain. Immediately after her surgery Lindsay could not walk or talk or even focus her eyes. Her fine motor skills were decimated and she could not speak. She had to relearn all those things but her balance was never restored 100%. She has a list to the left that is always there and she is unsteady on her feet. Uneven ground or changes of speed can cause her to fall where most people would hardly notice.

 Because of this it was difficult for me to trust this situation. The mare was trying hard to please but I was concerned about her responding to Lindsay's movements as cues. Lindsay needed slow and steady for her to maintain balance but even that wouldn't guarantee Lindsay would not lose her balance.

 Riding Aana would certainly help her gain strength and improve her balance but only if the mare could figure out how to be a good therapy horse. That would mean she would need to know appropriate ways to respond to Lindsay. Somethings she would need to ignore and some she might even need to intercede and assist Lindsay with her balance. I wondered if this was too nuch to ask of a green broke, aged mare.

I tried to be on top of any "cues" from Lindsay. I was hoping the mare could figure out she needed to be listening to me first and Lindsay second. If she could do this, Lindsay might actually be able to develop as a rider.

Walking beside the mare I watched her face closely for signs she was receiving some cue from Lindsay to move more forward. Then I countered the cue before Aana actually sped up. Sometimes, I would instruct Lindsay on what she could be doing to help the mare. Mostly that involved giving the mare more rein and not using the reins to assist in Lindsay's balance. Although Aana didn't seem to mind that, I didn't want Lindsay to be leaning on the mare's mouth. It wouldn't help Lindsay's balance and in the long run would interfere with what Lindsay really wanted to do and that was trail riding this mare.

As we did this I tried to lengthen the distance between the mare and me. Like landing a salmon, I worked the line in and out. Each time I put a little distance between us, I got more nervous about those cues from Lindsay so I would step in closer as I talked to the mare.

Before long I realized I was not trusting Aana when she was actually paying close attention to me. I gradually built up the distance between us until I finally was walking with the entire length of the lead rope stretched out between us. Once I was sure I didn't need to be walking close to the mare I decided it was time to try putting Aana on the lunge line. Doing that would give Lindsay the opportunity to do something more than just sitting there.

With Aana on the lunge, I asked Lindsay to guide her back to the rail. The mare didn't want to leave the security of proximity to me so she looked to me to see it was ok. I knew then that Aana had figured out her role in packing Lindsay. I breathed a sigh of relief as Lindsay worked at getting her mare to the rail. It was time for the real riding to begin.

To be continued......

Aana on the Line

Lindsay's Birthday - an Issue of Trust

Part 1


The most important thing I noticed about my ride on the Arabian mare was her responsiveness to the aids. While Aana didn't squirt out from underneath me, her reactions were very quick. When I asked her to turn, I got something more like a rollback than a simple change of direction. All the mare's responses were edgier than one would want for an inexperienced rider.

Because Lindsay's balance is impaired, I was concerned the green broke mare might interpret my daughter's attempts to correct her position  as cues. There was also the possibility Lindsay might grip with her legs and the mare would speed up where a seasoned horse like Dandy would recognize her unsteadiness as a reason to ignore the squeeze and wait for confirmation in the form of a verbal cue.

As I felt the mare's reactions to me, I noticed she was actually calmer about me on her back than I had expected. I figured I could get her to this point with some riding time but getting it from the start I read as an assurance the mare's trust would be a big factor in how thing's went with Lindsay.

I don't think I rode the mare more than a few minutes. Some trips around the round pen and several changes of direction, I worked just long enough to give me a good feel for the horse so, hopefully, I could forsee any issues and stop them from becoming a wreck.

Aana stood for me to dismount just as well as she had for me to mount. Once on the ground I directed Lindsay to come in as I  added the lead rope to the halter. Then the stirrups were adjusted to fit Lindsay and it was time for Lindsay to mount.

I don't even recall how long it's been since Lindsay was on a horse. It's been that long. Her effort to mount was much more graceful than mine despite the many years that have passed.

As she sat down into the saddle Aana dropped her head down that six inches I would like to have seen when I rode. It was clear this mare was totally comfortable with Lindsay in the saddle.

I looked up at Lindsay to ask her if she was ready. A broad smile graced her face as she nodded her head. She was ready to move. I instructed her to cluck to her mare and as she did, the mare immediately moved forward.

Lindsay lurched forward, not because the mare reacted too big but because of my daughter's impaired balance. As Lindsay fell forward she instinctively pulled on the reins. It was not a huge grab at the mare's mouth but still a confusing cue.  The mare did not flinch despite the intrusion in her mouth. She slowed a bit but did not stop suddenly like she would had I been the culprit. It was clear from those first steps. Aana was not worried about Lindsay riding her.

At first we walked the perimeter of the pen just like a lead line class. When Lindsay would accidentally squeeze with her legs, Aana would speed up and Lindsay would pull back on the reins.

The mare did not loose patience or show concern over Lindsay's response to her quickening gait. Looking at her face, Aana was clearly paying close attention wanting to do what Lindsay wanted.

Despite the mare's sensitivity to Lindsay's balance issues, my daughter showed no signs of concern either. The only one concerned at all seemed to be me.

I watched that mare like a hawk looking for signs something might go wrong. The mare walked a true gait, not the mincey, nervous thing she had done when first ridden.

Sometimes I had to ask the mare to walk slower. I was getting tired keeping up with the pair but I didn't trust anyone else to lead her. I was taking no chances even if I was quickly running out of steam.

As it became clear Aana was paying close attention to my cues, I slowly began to increase the distance between the mare and me. If I could, I wanted to put her on the lunge line and turnover more control to Lindsay.

To be continued......

 Defining Aana's Role

Lindsay's Birthday - Getting to Riding Aana

Part 1


Once everything in the round pen was in order, I brought the Arabian mare in to lunge her. Like any other horse I lunge  before I ride, the object of lunging was not to tire the mare; it was to take her emotional temperature. I just wanted to see how Aana would respond to me working her and give her dome time to get comfortable with me of she needed it.

While the mare always seems to be relaxed around Lindsay, she can sometimes look at me like she's unsure of what's expected. During those times she tends to be tense and a little bit reactive. For this to work, I needed the mare to be relaxed about my involvement.

With the halter positioned over her bridle, I'd removed the reins and attached the lunge line directly to the halter. Then I sent the mare off around me.

At first Aana had that unsure, OMG what is this expression but it quickly changed to a relaxed comfortable demeanor. Even changing directions didn't seem to rattle her. She was paying close attention to me wanting to please. It didn't take but a few minutes for me to decide we'd done enough lunging.

The mare stood fairly quietly as I rolled up the lunge line and the stirrups were adjusted. The few times she did move were about her misreading what was expected. It was clear Aana was trying her best to do what was wanted and she didn't seemed concerned that I was asking.

Only recently have I have had the strength to mount a horse from the ground without assistance. I've done it only a couple of times. It hasn't been all that long that I have been able to mount from the ground at all, but mostly that has been with someone holding my stirrup.

With this mare's tendency to be nervous, I didn't want to put any unnecessary pressure on her. Since her nerves are about distrust of humans, I didn't want to add another person into the mix just to assist me in mounting. I worried  having someone  holding my stirrup or holding the mare could be beyond her comfort level. Even though It did cross my mind I could be at risk if the mare did not stand still, I was willing to take that chance hoping to assure Aana stayed quiet enough for me to trust her with my impaired daughter on her back.

While I have more strength, i'm not really all that steady. I wasn't worried the mare would bolt but I knew I would be vulnerable to loosing my balance and falling if she should move at just the right moment. If I fell I  was sure Aana's confidence would be shattered and that would mean the end of Lindsay's birthday ride.

Walking off or fidgeting had been a problem during the mare's recent works. She had been schooled on the behavior but that didn't assure it wouldn't re-emerge with a different rider. Still I wasn't willing to put any more pressure on this mare. I decided I would trust her to take care of me as I would be trusting her to take care of Lindsay.

Aana repaid that trust just as I expected. She stood like a rock while I got into the saddle despite my clumsiness. Once mounted she made the smallest gesture signaling she intended to walk off before I had my reins adjusted but she stopped off the sound of my voice before actually taking a step.

When I did ask her to move off, the mare was tense but not jogging or pushy in any way. The tension in her body quickly dissipated even though she didn't drop her head as low as I would have liked to see.

I had assumed that Lindsay would be content just to be astride her mare. With her many therapy miles at the end of a lunge line, I figured my daughter would accept that was the reasonable place for her to begin her journey riding again. Along that vein I figured if we could walk, we would. I would gauge how far things progressed by both the mare and Lindsay's response.

I was pretty sure we would not get beyond walking. Aana has trouble being relaxed even at that gait so it was hard to imagine we might actually get beyond it.

Because I didn't want to create any anxiety for Aana, I decided I wouldn't ask her to do for me anything I didn't think she would need to do for Lindsay. Walking calmly and comfortably, changing directions and starting and stopping were the skills I planned to assess as I rode this mare. How she handled those things would determine if Lindsay got to take the first steps toward riding trails again someday.

To be continued.........

an Issue of Trust

Lindsay's Birthday........ The Unexpected Request........

Part 1


That's pretty much how the day went. While Lindsay and the young woman bathed the Arabian mare, I baked a cake and later frosted it. We ordered Lindsay's favorite pizza and she picked out a special flavor of ice cream to accompany the cake.

It was after pizza, but before cake and ice cream, when I asked Lindsay to get her riding boots and her helmet and meet us as the round pen.

You should have seen the puzzled look on Lindsay's face.  Her mind was not computing why she needed her boots or her helmet. It was clear she had no expectations of riding her mare any time soon.

I responded to her questioning gaze, "Well, you want to ride your mare, right?"

Lindsay's expression instantly changed to a look of delight but there was still the hint of a question as she giggled a "Yes."  She looked to me for some confirmation I wasn't teasing her when the young woman blurred out she'd been waiting all day for this. Lindsay heard the words and realized I was indeed serious.  Her eyes danced and an infectious smile took over her face as she wheeled around, heading off to get ready for her birthday date with Aana.

The young woman who had ridden the mare earlier saddled her while I got the things together I thought it would take to get this done. Lindsay came out to find Aana in the cross ties being saddled and her mother in the round pen kicking grass clumps and filling holes.

It has only been recently that the round pen has dried out enough for use. During the wet months the grass grows like crazy in there and it's too wet to mow. When it does dry out, I use it for turnout for stallions and they love that grass. The extended turnouts mean they eat it down to the wonderful footing underneath.

At this point in time only about half of the grass was gone so I really wasn't using the round pen for riding yet because the surface is uneven. It is high where the grass still is and lower where the horses have eaten it away, Of course, you know the horses have not seen their role in getting the footing evened out, so the places that are bare and interspersed with the grass, leaving some definite highs and lows.
For Lindsay to ride the mare, I felt the confinement of the round pen was an important element to assure Lindsay's safety since I really had no idea what to expect from the mare with a rider as inexperienced as she.

I still don't know if she really believed she was going to get to ride her mare but the excitement was beginning to build. I wasn't any more sure whether this would happen than she and I wasn't taking any chances. My last minute touch ups on the footing were to assure I would not trip or stumble during my part in getting this done.

Once I was sure the footing was even enough for my clumsy gait, I brought the mare into the round pen. It was my intention to lunge her to see how she felt about me at the end of the line. Then I planned on riding her myself to see what kind of response I would get from my aids.

The young woman who had ridden the mare had given me a report on how she had been but I wasn't trusting that. I had not seen it myself and I was taking no chances that her idea of "good" and "quiet" were the same as mine. I was taking no chances with Lindsay's safety and I actually expected Aana would be better for me than she had this stranger. If I was right about that, then I was probably right about my expectations of how this mare would react to Lindsay being on her back.



To be continued.......

Getting to Riding Aana

Lindsay's Birthday........ Preparations.......

Part 1


Then the day of Lindsay's birthday arrived. I was really wanting to do something special for her and it occurred to me that Lindsay's expectations of a ride might be very different from mine.

I knew she hoped to trail ride her mare someday so we can once again do poker rides but that didn't mean Lindsay expected to start there. Knowing my youngest daughter and how much she loves this mare, I began to realize just being able to sit on the mare's back might be a gift in itself. Could this mare handle that?

The more I thought about this question, the more I realized putting Lindsay on Aana might be just what the mare needed. To this point Aana really doesn't understand what riding is all about. Just maybe Lindsay on her back would relieve the mare's stress and make the whole process of training her that much easier.

On one hand this thinking seems nuts to me. Knowing Aana is a reactive horse and Lindsay inexperienced could be a dangerous combination. On the other hand there is my understanding of this mare's behavior, and the bond Arabian horses are known for with their humans.

I know plenty of stories about amazing things happening between Arabian horses and humans. I have personal experiences with them. Arabian horses can be sensitive to the needs of those around them, particularly small children, the disabled and the people they love.

My first experience with an Arabian horse was with a stallion when I was a small child. That experience was so powerful it has affected my entire life.

The depth of Aana's commitment to Lindsay had been seen before too. The day Dave found Lindsay unconscious on the side of the barn, it had been Aana standing guard over my unconscious daughter.  There is no doubt in my mind the mare has a deep bond with Lindsay. In deciding if Lindsay could ride Aana these extraordinary circumstances  bare consideration too. The real question was did I have enough faith to trust this remarkable connection between my impaired daughter and this rescued mare?

The more I thought about it, the more I was convinced that Aana could probably pack Lindsay safely, at least in a limited way. If I set it up right Lindsay could ride her mare for her birthday. I began taking steps to get that done.

I asked the young woman who had ridden the mare to lunge and ride Aana in the early part of the day. She decided she would bathe the mare afterwards to spruce her up for the big moment and I agreed, not remembering it might refreshen the mare defeating the whole purpose of lunging and riding her first.

 I asked her to include Lindsay in the bathing process. For all Lindsay knew that was her birthday gift. She got to be involved in bathing and pampering the mare she loves. The spa session included tail braiding and copious treats and pets. Aana ate it up and Lindsay glowed as she shared her afternoon's activities with the mare.

To be continued......

The Unexpected Request...........

Lindsay's Birthday........ Hope Hanging........

Part 1

It was late spring this year when we realized the third exploitation had happened here. The winter's weather had never been good enough for riding so work with Bey Aana had been a hope hanging. 

I don't know how Lindsay felt about hope's crashing fall because she didn't share her thoughts but I was devastated. My husband and my youngest daughter sacrificed so much trying to keep my dream alive during my illness. The fact either of them was being hurt because of my vulnerability  was more than I could bare.

At that time I really wasn't riding. Yes, I'd been aboard my horse a time or two but what I was doing I wouldn't call training. There was no way I could fix this for Lindsay no matter how much I wanted to.  I, myself, was in the position of needing a baby sitter kind of horse and Aana was far from that. Lindsay getting to ride her mare was going to have to remain a someday dream.

It seems like a lifetime since things have been normal here. There is so much catching up to do I have had to be content to crawl when I really want to fly. Telling myself "someday" has been the only thing keeping me going and with that I have been forced to focus on the one little step in front of me so as not to be overwhelmed by the daunting task ahead. That meant focus of miles on Aana had to be blurred with the rest of the things needing to be done even as my strength slowly begins to return.

Even since that last false promise, there have been those expressing a desire to help but having been burned at such a vulnerable time it has been hard to trust. I have taken a wait and see attitude about any offers that come our way hoping to avoid anymore heartache.  That perspective has served me well as promises have out weighed follow-throughs by a landslide.

It wasn't until this summer when an offer of assistance on my farm actually became more than words that the idea that anyone might ride Lindsay's mare even surfaced again. It wasn't an automatic decision with so much going on.  It was more a series of events that led to the this conclusion. A  horseless individual with a desire to ride and  enough experience to ride a green broke older mare might be a suitable match. The request to ride a horse looked like it might be what Lindsay and Aana needed.

As I expected, the mare was worried about this sudden change in circumstances. Nervous sweat formed at just the process of saddling. Lunging, her expression spoke worry from head to toe.  With a rider up, the mare jigged nervously. She was a long way from what Lindsay needed. I hoped the work might be often enough to make headway but only time would tell.

One of the things a horse like Aana needs is consistency. An on and off again program will only add to such a horse's apprehension.  As much as I wanted a regular schedule for the mare, wanting is not enough to get it done. Work with Aana has been sporadic. Despite this the mare improved somewhat with her nerves but she was a long way from being comfortable with the whole process of being ridden.

Without consistent work, I really had no plans for Lindsay to ride Aana any time soon. I was grateful for the fact the mare was getting any work at all. Still I knew this kind of use was not enough to make the mare safe enough for Lindsay.

On the other hand, Lindsay was delighted to see her mare ridden. I didn't know what kind of expectations she had with that. I hoped that Lindsay wasn't getting her hopes up because I'd really hate to see her heart broken again and I was beginning to suspect that might just be the case.

To be continued.......

Preparations..........

Lindsay's Birthday....... About Promises......

Part 1



I remember when Lindsay first asked me if she could ride Aana I had to explain  to her the mare had little experience under saddle. She just did not have the kind of miles it would take to be safe for a rider as green as Lindsay. Not only that but the mare had not been ridden in all the years she had been here. I didn't know if Aana could handle this change or not.

Lindsay's response to this conversation was a simple, "Oh." Her face didn't portray anything readable. I didn't know if she was disappointed or totally accepting. She walked off and I thought it was the end of it.

Months later I was working with BG and he told me Lindsay had asked him if he would put some miles on her horse. He had told her he would if it was OK with me. I was surprised to hear that Lindsay had asked this relative stranger to ride her horse when she hadn't really asked me. Lindsay is usually so direct in what she wants or needs.  I hadn't realized riding Aana was that important to her so I gave my permission but I had some concerns.

As it turned out my concerns were appropriate but not for the reasons I thought. Although BG made this promise to my impaired daughter, the gesture was not sincere. Despite his and LF's claims they "are all about the kids" this promise was just one more piece of the web used to trick me into believing I could trust them when they really had ulterior motives.

Of course it took a while for this to be understood. The days, weeks and months went by and no work was done with Aana. Lindsay dejectedly mentioned  to me one late summer day that BG had not done as he had promised. My heart broke at the disappointment in her voice.

By this time I was beginning to suspect BG could not be trusted. I explained to Lindsay that both of us had probably placed our trust in someone who didn't deserve it and that I doubted he would follow through no matter how much he smiled and laughed with her in the grocery store.

It was a hard lesson for Lindsay. She struggled with the disappointment for months. I hoped I would get the chance to at least evaluate the mare to see if Lindsay's dream of riding Aana was at all possible.

The following year I spent most every waking minute working on the lawsuit to get Storm back from BG and LF. Because of the way his claims of work done were made, I felt it was necessary to not advance the training of any horse I owned except for Legs or Dandy. Aana's green status was important to maintain so I could prove he was lying.

Poor Lindsay was caught in the cross fire but I promised her I would make it up to her. Unfortunately it wasn't meant to be any time soon. By the time I got the rocks picked from the back field and had it prepped for riding, I was struck down by cancer. Lindsay's dream again derailed right along with mine.

It was two days before Lindsay's birthday last year when I was released from the hospital. My 5 foot 10 inch frame carried only 125 pounds of weight and I had two gaping holes in my abdomen. My condition warranted going to a nursing home but instead I came here under the care of a home health care nurse.

I have mentioned before, but never given details, that there were those who saw my weakened state as an opportunity for exploitation. I am still not ready to share all the details of those situations except for how it relates to Lindsay. Once again an opportunist saw my disabled daughter as a pawn to build trust with me. This young woman promised Lindsay she would put miles on her horse but it was nothing put a ploy and Lindsay's dreams and her faith in humanity were dashed again. By this spring Lindsay had all but given up the idea of ever riding Aana.

To be continued.......

Hope Hanging........

A Birthday Surprise for Lindsay

Part 1


Lindsay Jane may have fallen out into this world but she hit the ground running. My youngest daughter has been a going concern from day one with her bubbly, outgoing, independent personality.

Her bout with brain cancer may have stunted her growth and slowed down her response time but it didn't diminish her heart, her loyalty or her fearless attitude. Lindsay is a force to be reckoned with and I couldn't do what I do here without her. Over this last year she has carried the burden of resposivility for my horses in a manner I never intended or expected. It is important to me she knows how special she is to me ...... And to the world.

Considering the circumstances of this past year, I felt that Lindsay's birthday celebration needed to be something particularly special.  With finances being pretty tight since Dave lost his job nearly four years ago, I was actually dreading this birthday thinking I really couldn't do for Lindsay in the manner she deserves.

 Sometimes the best gift in the world can not be bought and being short on funds helped remind me of that. What could be done for Lindsay that would bring her the joy that she brings to me?

It sounds like a difficult question but it was easier to answer than to actually deliver.  For my readers to understand the difficulty in delivering the perfect gift and why the gift is indeed perfect for her, here's a  bit of history.

 Just knowing Lindsay and her love of the horses, it only made sense the perfect gift would involve her love and commitment to these amazing horses. That was the easy part.

Even knowing which horse is particularly special to her is easy. You see about thirteen years ago I brought home a  mare who had a pretty rough start.  While the mare never wanted for her physical needs, emotionally she was bankrupt.  Lindsay is the one who did the work to turn that around.

Over the years a bond has developed between my youngest daughter and my oldest brood mare that is the stuff legends are built from. Many horse people only dream of connecting with a horse on the level that exists between these two. Yet the impairments of each has interfered with the loftiest expression of that trust............riding.

You see Bey Aana was started under saddle when we got her. However, she was green broke........ very green and she had been protected from anything that might spook her. That meant normal everyday stuff scared the crap out of her.

Not only that but I suspect she never did quite figure out what riding was about. As an over achiever Aana worries that she might not be delivering as expected. That concern causes her to be nervous until she "gets it." Once she does, she is just as calm as any horse on the place.

I didn't bring Aana home to ride her. I brought her home to save her from kill buyers. It was never my plan to do anything with her but let her have a few babies and live like a normal horse.

Lindsay immediately saw the fear of people that ruled this mare and took it upon herself to befriend her. What others would have seen as a reason to reject her, my daughter saw as a reason to give the mare extra love.

Winning over Aana became Lindsay's personal project. Her intention was not to ride her. It was to teach the mare the world is a safe place. All Lindsay wanted was for the mare to trust her and she never wavered from her goal even when the mare made it difficult at times.

Lindsay seem to feed off the challenge and in return, achieving it built Lindsay's confidence. They grew together and Aana learned to trust others through her bond with Lindsay.

Over the years Lindsay has fluctuated in what she's thought she wanted to do with the horses. She's ridden off and on but never really expressed an interest in wanting to pursue it until about three years or so ago.

When Lindsay decided she might like to resume riding, her old gelding had developed an issue with nerve damage and was no longer safe to ride. Dandy was always available to her but somewhere along the way she began thinking the horse she really wanted to ride was Aana. The only problem neither has enough experience for the other.

To be continued........

About Promises....

A Particularly Special Day

It is not unusual for me to begin a special day thinking about the past. Particularly birthdays and anniversaries bring to mind the memories associated with the event. Today is no exception.

Thirty-two years ago I remember the entire pregnancy was a wreck. It had started off with an episode of flu that settled in my intestinal tract. Unable to keep anything down, including even water or other fluids, I had spent hours at the doctors clinic receiving IV drips two to three times a week to keep me hydrated.

That went on for weeks and the pregnancy did not get better after that. I had already decided this would be my final child but had I not, this pregnancy would have sealed the deal for me. It was tortuous from one end to the other. 
The final, tenth month (that's right, I said tenth) had been particularly difficult. With what felt like dozens of trips to the hospital at the end of my ninth and into the tenth  month having contractions two or less minutes apart, I had been sent home repeatedly. Dismissed as some  hysterical woman who didn't know or understand her own body, I had been told to be patient. My time would come. 

My previous three births told me otherwise. I knew well the difference between real contractions and the Braxton Hicks variety and I worried for my baby. The professionals were so convinced they knew better than I, the only thing that seemed to matter was the amount of dilation. The long term stress on the child within enduring those contractions without break for an entire month seemed lost on everyone but me.

My doctor, usually an attentive, caring man known for being a good listener, was stuck on birth weight. Leary of intervention for a baby under seven pounds despite the length of gestation probably motivated by fear from too many litigations for things beyond his control, he wasn't hearing me either.  Whatever the reasons I endured late stage labor with its brutal contractions, never backing off in length or frequency,  for a full four weeks until the doctor was convinced the baby was big enough. Then an appointment was finally set to figure out what was delaying the arrival of my child.

Eight o'clock Monday morning, July 29, 1980 I was finally admitted to the hospital. I was physically and emotionally exhausted from the relentless pounding my body was taking. My baby had been quiet during this onslaught but vital signs had been within reason for the professionals.

The fact this bundle of joy within me had rarely been quiet concerned only me. My expressions of concern fell on deaf ears only adding to my stress. To say I was grumpy would be a gross understatement.

Oddly enough it was the first nurse who saw me on this day who actually listened to my story and my concerns. As I explained to this woman,  exactly as I had the dozens before her, a puzzled look crossed her face and I could see the wheels turning. Within seconds she asked me to alert her when the next contraction began.

She didn't even make it out the door when my belly tightened and the pain grabbed me again.  Struggling to breathe I called the OB nurse to me. Quickly she began her examination wanting to feel with her hands. Poking and prodding both internally and externally, suddenly her eyes light up and she began to laugh.

Even today I remember the jab that utterance felt like to me. There was nothing funny to me about the pain I had experienced for the last month. Still on some level I knew that laugh must mean there was some simple, but more importantly safe, explanation behind my plight. I looked at her questioningly for whatever she had found.

"That little monkey" she giggled, "is ducking the pressure. Curling up in a ball, the head is pushing on your pelvic bone instead of your cervix during each contraction. No wonder you're not dilating."

With that utterance she called out for someone to locate the doctor immediately. Then she turned back to me saying, "Relax, if you can. I can fix this easily but I need to be sure the doctor is here. This baby is going to fall out when I do."p

Despite the pain of the contractions, knowing my baby had not been bearing the brunt of them for all this time was a huge relief. While the contractions were still awful there was less tension in my body which made them more bearable.

I wasn't sure what to think about waiting for the doctor but I had little time to consider it. My nurse explained the situation to some responding voice outside my room. Within seconds that voice could be heard in my room saying my doctor was in the stairway making his way up to the obstetrics ward.

With the news my nurse savior stepped into action. She'd been watching me closely so she could see another contraction was starting. She asked me to roll partially to my side, putting one of her hands off the right side of  the high point of my belly and using her fingers on the other hand she pushed those down in between my baby's head and the inside of my left pelvic bone.

She explained as she implemented her plan that she was repositioning the baby using my contraction to assist. She warned me it would be more painful at first but it would be better than a C section. She expected it wouldn't take much to get the baby in the correct position.         

At this point I placed my explicit trust in this nurse. She was the only one in an entire month who had really heard me. My faith was quickly rewarded as I felt an almost wooshing shift internally.

Instantly the room exploded with activity. My doctor came through the door greeted by a nurse holding up gloves and the words "she's crowning!" rung out. My legs were grabbed and placed and my doc lunged across the room to catch my darling daughter, Lindsay Jane, as she made her dramatic entrance into the world.

My poor doctor only got one glove on before he caught Lindsay. The other was secured in place as she rested on my abdomen. There was no resistance once the baby was repositioned. It took two contractions with very little pain considering what the rest of my labor had been.

It has been thirty-two years since that day but as you can tell by this post, the whole experience is still very fresh in my mind. Life with Lindsay has always been full of surprises from those first unbelivable moments on through to her brilliant smile this morning.

Last year on her birthday I had just gotten out of the hospital and I was in pretty rough shape. There was not much celebrating. I know she didn't mind but I sure did so this year I have a special treat for her. Because she reads my blog sometimes, I will be posting that story tomorrow, I sure don't want to spoil her surprise.

Happy Birthday, Sweet Pea!

A Birthday Surprise for Lindsay

A Little on Christmas

Normally, I do a post on Christmas eve, some form of variation of Twas the Night Before Christmas This year I did think about the famous poem and my usual yearly mutilations to make it fit life on our farm but to be honest, I just couldn't do it.

In former variations I tried to reflect true Christmas spirit and happenings here. I began this tradition in 2008 Twas the Night Before Christmas Each year there was some kind of change, no matter how subtle it was.
Twas the Night before Christmas 2009

Good or bad the changes were noted T'was the Night Before Christmas..........2010


Somehow the changes here this year just didn't seem to stimulate my Christmas muse. While stories untold have never been enough to stop me from dropping hints like those done in 2009, this year's journey just didn't seem to mix with my idea of Christmas spirit.

Not that I haven't seen and experienced plenty of Christmas spirit this year. It just did not lend itself to the elements the tradition of this holiday poem has been for me. The stories will be told in their own time and maybe then my Christmas muse will find itself again.

In the meantime I thought it best to reshare Molesting the Christmas Tree.......... While I really missed having a tree this year, I'm sure had we put one up, it would have fared about as well as last years. Yesterday I really did miss the tree enough to try to convince Dave and Lindsay to join me in a decorating party but Dave just didn't seem all that enthused so I let it go but I'm pretty sure he's wishing we'd not skipped on this Christmas tradition and next year it will be back alive and well, even if it does get abused by the dogs and cats.

Wishing a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all.

T'was the Night Before Christmas..........2010

You'll have to indulge me on this one. This version has been running around in my head all week so I finally made the necessary modifications so here it goes......

**********

T'was the night before Christmas, and all through the farm,
The critters were sleeping, all safe, snug and warm.
The stockings were hung by the stall doors with care,
In the hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

Arabian horses nestled all warm in their beds,
While visions of sweet treats danced in their heads.
The weanling, the yearling and even the twins,
The mares and stallions were dreaming of wins.

When out in the paddock there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
I dashed to the barnyard and what I could see
There in the moonlight.............how could it be?

It wasn't St Nick.... nor his team of reindeer
Not a sign of a sleigh nor an elf anywhere.
But off in the distance framed in the moonlight
A new holiday tradition that seemed so right.

Up on the barn top all glistening and white
Was a magical horse in the crisp snowy night.
An Arabian horse with his head held aloof
Snorting and blowing up there on my roof.

Ears locked tight, his nostrils did flare
Black eyes bulging at all that was there
He looked like a vision all power and might
As he stood there surveying this farm in the night.

Flagging his tail and tossing his mane
Pawing the snow and blowing again!
Strapped to his back were bundles of red,
Filled with treats and toys for horses in their bed.

From the rooftop he bounded on down to the stalls
Leaving his presents for one and for all.
At each door he stopped and called out a name
Filled up the stocking and snorted again!

Heiress, Rhapsody, Dancer and Dare,
Legacy, Dandy, Tango.....last foal for Solidare
Andy and Pat, followed by Gypcy and Faye
Lucy, Faith, Lilly and Hope, who else could he say?

Then on to the twins, Trouble and Surprise
He's got to be finished before the sunrise!
Reflection and Rose, yet still more to see
Percy, Suede, Aana, Doc and then Vee

In the next barn Echo, Scarlet and Rhet, Louie then Tag
Storm gets the gift from the bottom of the bag.
Before leaving the last barn, going into the night
This horse whirled around to check every thing's right.

Thirty Arabian horses, thirty one names he did call
Thirty- one presents, with no stockings too tall.
Each one filled clear up to the brim
Big ones and little ones, fat ones and thin.......

There were apples and carrots and peppermints too
Sweet things like cookies, then toys to chew
A treat for the kitties, Jasmine and Squeaker
A treat for the puppies, Delilah and Sugar.

Maybe a treat for MiKael, Lindsay and Dave
First did the humans have to behave?
Thirty-one names this stallion did call
Why was she mentioned if for nothing at all?

With a toss of his head, then a mysterious beckon
Something amazing was next or so I did reckon.
Then from out of the darkness a sassy gray mare
Prancing and happy....joined him there.

The hugest doe eyes you ever did see
Dancing and imp like and talking to me
Forelock to her nostrils, mane thick and long
Bloody red marking up there where it belonged

Tossing her head and calling to me
I knew in an instant who it was, I did see
Such a Christmas present I never did dare
Imagine this visit from my Solidare

Those eyes told the story
They told me, "Do not worry
No longer crippled, no longer in pain"
This magnificent mare was whole once again


Only there for an instant this vision did come
She made a quick tour of her former home.
Soothing all those who'd missed her so
With a special nicker for Tango before she did go.

Both tossing their heads and whinnying proud calls
These magical Arabians blessed one and all
They leapt into the air, climbed through the sky
I couldn't believe it, these horses could fly!

Over the rooftops, then circled the creek
Still I expected they'd land in a heap!
But they flew even higher with no wings in sight
Springs on their hooves......could that be right?

Zig-zagging proudly up over my farm
Still snorting and blowing, it made my heart warm
I called their direction as they cantered out of sight
Merry Christmas to All and to all a good night!

I own a print of this artwork. The artist is Sprague. I own several of here prints.

Tomorrow, I resume with lytha's visit to this farm. Maybe it was her trip that brought Solidare so much to the fore front in my mind this week. Who Knows!

Merry Christmas, Everyone!


Visit Blog Village and vote daily for this blog Here They are now measuring the rankings by votes out, so if you find my blog on the site, please click that link too to improve my rankings. TY

Twas the Night before Christmas 2009

T'was the night before Christmas, and all through the farm,
The critters were sleeping, all safe, snug and warm.
The stockings were hung by the stall doors with care,
In the hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

Arabian horses nestled all warm in their beds,
While visions of sweet treats danced in their heads.
The weanling, the yearlings and even the twins,
The mares and stallions were dreaming of wins.

When out in the paddock there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
I dashed to the barnyard to see what I could see
There in the moonlight.............how could it be?

It wasn't St Nick.... nor his team of reindeer
Not a sign of a sleigh nor an elf anywhere
Instead off in the distance I could see in the moonlight
A new holiday tradition that seemed so right

Up on the barn top all glistening and white
Was a magical horse in the crisp snowy night.
An Arabian horse with his head held aloof
Snorting and blowing up there on my roof.

Ears locked tight, his nostrils did flare
Black eyes bulging at all that was there
He looked like a vision all power and might
As he stood there surveying this farm in the night.

Flagging his tail and tossing his mane
Pawing the snow and blowing again!
Strapped to his back were bundles of red,
Filled with treats and toys for horses in their bed.

From the rooftop he bounded on down to the stalls
Leaving his presents for one and for all.
At each door he stopped and called out a name
Filled up the stocking and snorted again!

Heiress, Rhapsody, Dancer and Dare,
Legacy, Dandy, and of course..... Solidare
Andy and Pat, followed by Gypcy and Faye
Lucy, Faith, Lilly and Hope, who else could he say?

Then on to the twins, Trouble and Surprise
He's got to be finished before the sunrise!
Reflection and Rose, yet still more to see
Percy, Suede, Aana, Doc and Vee

In the next barn Echo, Scarlet, Louie and Tag
Then dear Rhet gets the gift from the bottom of the bag.
Before leaving the last barn, going into the night
This horse whirled around to check everything's right.

Twenty-nine horses, twenty-nine calls
Twenty-nine presents, no stockings too tall.
Each one filled clear up to the brim
Big ones and little ones, fat ones and thin.......

There were apples and carrots and peppermints too
Sweet things like cookies, then toys to chew
A treat for the kitties, and maybe MiKael, Lindsay and Dave
But first the humans would have to behave!

Then tossing his head and whinnying a proud call
This magical Arabian blessed one and all
He leapt in the air, climbed through the sky
I couldn't believe it, this horse could fly!

Over the rooftops, then he circled the creek
Still I expected he'd land in a heap!
But he flew even higher with no wings in sight
Springs on his hooves......could that be right?

Zig-zagging proudly up over my farm
Still snorting and blowing, it made my heart warm
I called his direction as he cantered out of sight
Merry Christmas to All and to all a good night!



I own a print of this artwork. The artist is Sprague and this work sure fits my descrition of a magical holiday horse. Don't you think??

Visit Blog Village and vote daily for this blog Here They are now measuring the rankings by votes out, so if you find my blog on the site, please click that link too to improve my rankings. TY

Twas the night before Christmas

T'was the night before Christmas

T'was the night before Christmas, and all through the farm,
All the horses were sleeping, all safe, snug and warm.
The stockings were hung by the stall doors with care,
In the hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

The horses were nestled all warm in their beds,
While visions of sweet treats danced through their heads.
The weanlings, the yearlings and even the twins,
The mares and stallions were dreaming of wins.

When out in the paddock there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
I dashed to the barnyard to see what I could see
There in the moonlight.....how could it be?

It wasn't St Nick....nor his reindeer
Not a sleigh nor an elf anywhere
Instead I could see in the moonlight
A new tradition that seemed so right

Up on the barn top all glistening and white
Was a magical horse in the crisp snowy night.
An Arabian horse with his head held aloof
Snorting and blowing up there on my roof.

Ears locked tight, his nostrils did flare
Black eyes bulging at all that was there
He looked like a vision all power and might
As he stood there surveying this farm in the night.

Flagging his tail and tossing his mane
Pawing the snow and blowing again!
Strapped to his back were bundles of red,
Filled with treats and toys for horses in their bed.

From the rooftop he bounded on down to the stalls
Leaving his presents for one and for all.
At each door he stopped and called out a name
Filled up the stocking and snorted again!

Heiress, Rhapsody, Dancer and Dare,
Legacy, Dandy, and of course..... Solidare
Andy and Pat, followed by Gypcy and Faye
Lucy, Faith, Lilly and Hope, who else could he say?

On to the twins, Trouble and Surprise
He's got to be finished before the sunrise!
Reflection and Rose, still more to see
Percy, Suede, Aana and Vee

In the next barn Echo, Scarlet, Louie and Tag
One more horse gets the gift from the bottom of the bag.
Before leaving the last barn, going into the night
This horse whirled around to check everything's right.

Twenty-eight horses, twenty-eight calls
Twenty-eight presents, no stockings too tall.
Each one filled clear up to the brim
Big ones and little ones, fat and thin.......

There were apples and carrots and peppermints too
Sweet things and cookies and toys to chew
A treat for the kitties, maybe MiKael, Lindsay and Dave
Of course the humans would have to behave!

Then tossing his head and whinnying a proud call
This magical Arabian blessed one and all
He leapt in the air, climbed through the sky
I couldn't believe it, this horse could fly!

Over the rooftops, then he circled the creek
Still I expected he'd land in a heap!
But he flew higher with no wings in sight
Springs on his hooves......could that be right?

Zig-zagging proudly up over my farm
Still snorting and blowing, it made my heart warm
I called his direction as he cantered out of sight
Merry Christmas to All and to all a good night!



I own a print of this artwork. The artist is Sprague.

Visit Blog Village and vote daily for this blog Here They are now measuring the rankings by votes out, so if you find my blog on the site, please click that link too to improve my rankings. TY