It was late spring this year when we realized the third exploitation had happened here. The winter's weather had never been good enough for riding so work with Bey Aana had been a hope hanging.
I don't know how Lindsay felt about hope's crashing fall because she didn't share her thoughts but I was devastated. My husband and my youngest daughter sacrificed so much trying to keep my dream alive during my illness. The fact either of them was being hurt because of my vulnerability was more than I could bare.
At that time I really wasn't riding. Yes, I'd been aboard my horse a time or two but what I was doing I wouldn't call training. There was no way I could fix this for Lindsay no matter how much I wanted to. I, myself, was in the position of needing a baby sitter kind of horse and Aana was far from that. Lindsay getting to ride her mare was going to have to remain a someday dream.
It seems like a lifetime since things have been normal here. There is so much catching up to do I have had to be content to crawl when I really want to fly. Telling myself "someday" has been the only thing keeping me going and with that I have been forced to focus on the one little step in front of me so as not to be overwhelmed by the daunting task ahead. That meant focus of miles on Aana had to be blurred with the rest of the things needing to be done even as my strength slowly begins to return.
Even since that last false promise, there have been those expressing a desire to help but having been burned at such a vulnerable time it has been hard to trust. I have taken a wait and see attitude about any offers that come our way hoping to avoid anymore heartache. That perspective has served me well as promises have out weighed follow-throughs by a landslide.
It wasn't until this summer when an offer of assistance on my farm actually became more than words that the idea that anyone might ride Lindsay's mare even surfaced again. It wasn't an automatic decision with so much going on. It was more a series of events that led to the this conclusion. A horseless individual with a desire to ride and enough experience to ride a green broke older mare might be a suitable match. The request to ride a horse looked like it might be what Lindsay and Aana needed.
As I expected, the mare was worried about this sudden change in circumstances. Nervous sweat formed at just the process of saddling. Lunging, her expression spoke worry from head to toe. With a rider up, the mare jigged nervously. She was a long way from what Lindsay needed. I hoped the work might be often enough to make headway but only time would tell.
One of the things a horse like Aana needs is consistency. An on and off again program will only add to such a horse's apprehension. As much as I wanted a regular schedule for the mare, wanting is not enough to get it done. Work with Aana has been sporadic. Despite this the mare improved somewhat with her nerves but she was a long way from being comfortable with the whole process of being ridden.
Without consistent work, I really had no plans for Lindsay to ride Aana any time soon. I was grateful for the fact the mare was getting any work at all. Still I knew this kind of use was not enough to make the mare safe enough for Lindsay.
On the other hand, Lindsay was delighted to see her mare ridden. I didn't know what kind of expectations she had with that. I hoped that Lindsay wasn't getting her hopes up because I'd really hate to see her heart broken again and I was beginning to suspect that might just be the case.
To be continued.......