Nightmares.....and Torture.......

 Part 1 of the Black Years



 Part One of Amanda's Wright's Story


It didn't take long to see my suspicions about Amanda Weight were correct. If they didn't have some kind of plans, Darryl cleaned part of the stalls and he usually watered those horses then too but the  only time Amanda went anywhere near the barn was to talk with Darryl. She was living here but, with few exceptions, not lifting a finger to do anything and she sure wasn't showing any interest in the horses.

Considering her sole purpose for being here was her claim she loved this breed so much that she couldn't wait to get her hands on horses of such quality, her behavior once she arrived was quite the contrary. There was nothing in her behavior that said she loved horses.  If Amanda had a reason for Darryl to be gone, they went. I wasn't told he was cutting out on doing stalls and no arrangements were made to feed the horses either. Amanda came first with no consideration for, or obligation to, the horses. Not really what I would call appropriate horse care and certainly miles away from love.

By this time the change in doctors had halted the progress of my recovery.  I was once again flat on my back, crippled with debilitating pain. I was like that before Erin left but managed to push my way through to get to my feet sometimes for an hour or more a day, maybe a couple of times a week,  but that continued to deteriorate.

My new primary care physician thought, because there had been a decrease in the amount of pain medication I was taking, that it was time to get me off these medications altogether. He didn't look at my chart to check out my history or look for any kind of explanation for the amount of pain I was in. He just figured it must be getting better. Why else would I cut back on my meds? 

I tried to deal with his cutbacks thinking doctor knows best. Initially he dropped my dose by 2 tablets. Then each month, my dosage was cut back by one more. Due to these decreases, I ended up literally writhing in pain because the dose was so low it had no impact on my pain levels at all. I was so far on the other side of the pain threshold, nothing worked.

I told my doctor I was experiencing too much pain for these decreased but by then it was too late to fix it. Our new state law requires chronic pain be treated by a pain specialist. The law wouldn't allow my doctor to return my meds to the dose that worked. He could increase the dose by one pill and maintain that until I could get in to the specialist but he had started me off with a bigger decrease than that.

I was referred to a pain management clinic where I ended up on a waiting list with a prescription to get me through that was actually half of the amount that allowed me to get to my feet for that hour a day. It was a horrible way to live.

By the time Amanda arrived here, that's where I was...on the waiting list. Pretty much restricted to the couch, in a slouched position trying to avoid being upright, unable to stand. I was in so much pain I could barely walk upright. I could get to the barn for an emergency but I could hardly manage a few minutes standing.

For my peace of mind, I desperately needed the help Amanda promised but she had no compunction about moving here and staying hold up in her RV ignoring my horses and their needs. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that she could do such a thing, since she had been there on my arm at the horse show sowing the seeds to get herself here in the first place. I guess I just don't understand why anyone would choose to be so cold, so heartless. Those people saw my condition every single day........and still they took advantage.

I can hear Amanda defending herself because she got a job at Wal-Mart so she was working 32 hours a week AND, after all she was pregnant. However, as I told her, that did not change our agreement. She could have spent some time after work and on her days off grooming horses and cleaning up around here or directing Darryl in what to do but I think that was never her plan.

The way that I saw it, if Darryl was filling in for Amanda then he was here in the capacity of a farm hand so he should have been working on whatever needed to be done. From what I can tell, Amanda had an idea in her mind how much it would cost to park that RV in a park so I think she had decided that the stalls Darryl was cleaning were enough to satisfy that even if I didn't agree to any such thing.

I believe my thoughts on this are accurate because months after they moved in, she actually told me RV parking would cost around $189 but I knew better. Anticipating this ploy, I  looked up RV parks in our area when she moved here. There was nothing under $475, most were well over. That didn't include WiFi and certainly not bathrooms and laundry facilities and absolutely NONE of the parks would even allow an RV the condition of hers. Not that any of this mattered because she didn't get to change our agreement without my approval but the fact she threw that number out there (which BTW was the fee listed on the internet for an RV park torn down years ago) shows she was justifying to herself what she was doing to me.

The fact is I had clearly told her I was not interested in having someone live here in exchange for stall cleaning. Nothing had changed that. I wanted my horses groomed and turned out regularly and repairs done and even though Amanda justified to herself Darryl couldn't do that because he isn't experienced with horses, nothing changed her responsibility to me. When she moved here she knew exactly what was expected but she also knew others had successfully exploited my circumstances. She made the decision to do the same thing when she ignored her responsibilities to me and my horses and my family.



To be continued......

The Plot Thickens........