Grooming....and It's Not Just for Horses

 Part 1

Over the course of our conversations, Amanda Wright volunteered that she had done therapy to deal with childhood issues. She claimed she had learned she was responsible for her life and how it turned out and that it was up to her to get it in order. She made it sound like she was no longer playing the victim and instead focusing on stepping up and taking charge of her life but it was all talk. Just another ruse like Jessica's talk of wanting to heal had been.

From there it was much like the other stories. The usual grooming took place to convince me she had something to offer. Her pitch was she could get my place cleaned up in time to have an open house that fall.

I openly laughed at this claim. I know what it takes to get that done when things are under control. The current state of my farm and the horses was anything but that. There was little chance this could be accomplished in the few, short months left before my regular weekend for the event.

I went down the entire list of things that would need to be done to show her the folly of her plan. She countered I had no idea how driven she was. According to her she was a self motivated, thorough and responsible worker. I  wasn't doing well enough to be of assistance but she could get this done without my help.... that's what she claimed anyway and she cited the clean up work she was doing on a hoarder's farm as she tried to restore that property so she could buy it one day was proof she could handle anything.

She didn't miss a beat.....grooming and conditioning horses, fixing stalls and fences, correcting the electric fencing issues, rocks in fields, flower beds overgrown with weeds, fixing mats and aisle ways, pressure washing and subsequent painting. We talked about it all and she claimed she could handle it....no problem.....if only she where here.

Oh and there was another dynamic here, instead of just helping get my place fixed up and my horses conditioned and groomed, Amanda claimed she wanted to be mentored by me on all aspects of being a breeder and in riding a horse with true collection. When she got that job she was convinced was coming any day, she wanted to lease and show some of my horses. She said it would give her the opportunity to learn and it would help me get horses in the ring so I could get some sold.

I guess what is most important about this particular aspect is there is proof she has used this ploy before. It didn't turn out well then either, for the owner or the horse since that animal was the stallion involved in the  fatal accident that essentially killed the other stallion.

It is important to note this grooming did not happen overnight. I was not that sick that I would have fallen for another hard sell approach like Kelly Panowicz had pulled. Instead it went on over a matter of weeks, maybe even months. She pretended to be my friend acting concerned about my health, my horses and my dream.

I was lonely, isolated and even depressed. My self esteem was suffering because I felt useless. It was not a good combination. Between my lack of self esteem and my concern for the horses I was ripe for her con. She knew exactly what she was doing just like Kelly Panowicz and Crystal Baker but she had a different plan in store for me than those two.

In hindsight I realize she was telling me what I wanted to hear. She drooled over my horses. She wanted to train just like me. She became my friend claiming someday she wanted to have a breeding operation on the scale of mine and I believed her. She stroked my ego until it worked for her.

We discussed her dreams but I encouraged her to get her life in order. I tried to give her the benefit of my mistakes. So when she talked about having six broodmares as a foundation for her breeding program, I explained to her how much work a number like that can lead to but she claimed she is such a hard worker that would be perfect for her. Still I had my doubts and tried to encourage her to rethink her plans even though she was miles from being anywhere near having the means to implement them. 

When it comes to breeding horses, I believe it is still better to dream with some realism since it is much easier to grow a herd than shrink one.  I believe we have the responsibility to care for these horses despite any hand life might deal us so starting off slowly only makes sense so the horses don't end up at risk. If Amanda worked with me she would have to exercise caution and exhibit real responsibility. I figured the way she responded to these conversations said she was on the right track but it was just more agreement for the sake of reeling me in. This whole dream thing nothing more than a ploy.


To be continued....

If Only I Had a Crystal Ball.........