Monday, July 29, 2013

More Ulterior Motives......

 Part 1

By the time I was entering the hospital for the second time, Jessica's groundwork was well laid. We had offered her a place to stay as long as she was going to school and working a program to turn her life around. With all the running around to appointments she had Dave doing it looked like she was well on the way to getting those things set up. It was just a matter of time for the inevitable to happen.

She came to see me once during my extended hospitalization but that, in hindsight, strikes me as self serving and superficial. When I compare her affect with that of visitors who truly care about me, there is a wide margin of difference in their reactions to my appearance that I should have realized at the time was not about her youth but her lack of empathy.

Even though my surgery was the 25th of October, it was nearly Thanksgiving when I finally got out of the hospital. Just like my last hospitalization, there were complications that extended my stay. I lost what weight I had managed to gain, despite all the stress caused by Kelly Panowicz and Crystal Baker's interference in my life, and my survival was once again in question.  I was in bad shape and there was no question about that.

 I was so weak I could not push my own IV pole. Granted it was one of the heavier type needed for my TPN treantment (an intravenous nutrition method used to keep me from starving to death) but under normal circumstances even that weight would not have fazed me. The fact I could not handle that thing meant I could not get out of bed unless I had help so it was a constant reminder I was sicker than I wanted to admit.

 I might have struggled to accept how sick I was but I clearly remember the grave expressions all visitors but Jessica tried to hide. If I had gauged my level of illness based on her reaction to the sight of me since she had last seen me, I might have thought I was ready to do home instead of being considered to be near death.

Knowing as I do now that the visit was never about me but making sure she was getting her hooks into us, it makes sense she didn't notice or care about how sick I was. The only thing that mattered to her was getting her foot in the door.

My guess is she figured she had that locked in even if I died as long as she kept up appearances like pretending that she cared that I was still in the hospital. Even her one, very brief visit was, afterall, more than I was getting from my oldest daughter and grandchildren.

Knowing what a sore subject that was gave her visit the kind of power such people prey on and Jessica didn't overlook its value. She worked it for all it was worth.......even to the point of asking me during her visit if I had seen or heard from Colleen or Rachel. She knew exactly what she was doing in asking that question.  She not only brought to the forefront their lack of caring but made it look like she cared and that's why she was there. She might as well have stabbed me with a dagger to the heart but it was certainly effective in making me believe that she was there for me. 

Cruel and manipulative too...... this was Jessica's game but this was just the laying of her trap. The worst was yet to come.

To be continued......

Visitors........and Colic....of the Human Kind.......


  1. Not a nice girl at all. I often wonder how people come to be the way they are with no moral conscience whatsoever.