Wednesday, April 27, 2011

My Perspective on the Troll.........and a Message...

First off, I want to thank everyone for their support and comments throughout this series and particularly on both the post about the troll and the betrayal post. I did not respond to comments individually on those two posts as I did the others. Words can't express my feelings about the overwhelming support I have received. It is truly humbling particularly knowing I have been breaking some taboos by talking about these things in such an open forum in the first place. It was validating to know I did not make this walk alone.

Then I really want to address the issue of this troll. While I respect the opinions of those who believe doing so is "feeding" the issue, I can't help but feel walking away from it isn't really productive either. I may never be able to change this person's mind but I think I should at least take on what she's said so maybe she might question it. After that if the troll chooses to continue on in her line of thinking, I guess that is her choice. At least I will have made an attempt to open her eyes to some dangerous ground she is walking upon.

I think it's unfortunate when someone gets sucked into something they don't really understand and behave in such an inappropriate manner as this troll did. To attack someone you don't even know either because others are and you want to be part of the group or because you have been manipulated into believing untruths speaks far more to the issues of this troll than they do to issues of mine. That really concerns me. I see either of these scenarios as a vulnerability that could easily be exploited and I would hope this troll does not leave herself open in this manner from this point forward.

Like several who stated in the comments, I , too, believe this came from a young person. It is not just her mention of showing against GD that leads me to this assumption but also her grammar, spelling, phrasing very much speak to many of today's youth. With that information and the IP information associated with this comment, I believe I actually know who this person is.

The comment certainly speaks to some sense of loyalty for all parties from BG and WF's barn. While I think loyalty is something to be respected when it is appropriate, I also believe it's very important it not be blindly given. I think loyalty needs to be something we give based honesty and integrity, NOT on what someone tell us they are, but what they truly are.

Unfortunately too many young people, and there are adults too, who freely give their loyalty to people who have not earned it and surely don't deserve it. Certainly bullying and gang violence are good examples of loyalty gone amok. Just because some one comes off as likeable or even charismatic does not mean they should be blindly followed. The fact this troll feels this sense of loyalty so strongly for people who clearly don't deserve it certainly concerns me.

I saw enough while working horses at that facility to know that young people are exploited there. To see BG go off on a kid because he was in a foul mood and they dared question him was a sobering experience. Teenagers are so vulnerable, their self esteems so at risk, watching BG laughing and playing with them on one hand like he is their very best friend and then ripping them to shreds on the other, screaming "Get TF out of my barn" for some imagined transgression they're never going to quite get was appalling. That is only the tip of the iceberg of the manipulative behavior done to keep their band of followers close to them.

Considering the fact the man annihilated my self esteem and I am an adult, I can only imagine what he does to those kids he claims to care so much about. I know the comment he made to me about a teenage girl needing to have her whohoo sewn shut totally blew me out of the water. The fact he felt comfortable enough to believe he could even make such a statement to me, was one thing and finding out he was talking to the girl about it too was beyond me. There is something very wrong there and I worry about any young person who might be putting her faith in either of them.

One of the things that was interesting to me about this troll's comment was the references made about me, as a person diagnosed many years ago with MPDl They very much mirrored the sentiments in BG's email and in the personal message sent to me on FB by YW. Since this person doesn't even know me, I know she must be making her assumptions based on what she has been told and maybe upon a stereotypical perception of what MPD is. It certainly cannot be from what she read on either of my blogs.

I might add that stereotypical perception is very flawed. It might make good copy for soap operas and tv dramas but it is not what the behavior of the typical person with MPD is. I can assure you of that and in all of my life I have only ever been accused of being different people and forgetting things in this manner these three times. That should say plenty about its untruthfulness.

It was clear from the comment that the troll does not understand much of what she speaks about. Although I was accused of blaming and not taking personal responsibility, I know that nothing could be farther from the truth. I have been very careful to take full responsibility for my actions and I have not blamed others for theirs on both of my blogs and in my daily life. I may have relayed what their actions were so that others could make their own judgements but that is not blaming, holding accountable to some extent maybe, but not blaming.

I don't know if the troll doesn't understand what blaming and taking personal responsibility really mean or if she is just repeating something she has heard. Either way those statements were nothing but a manipulation of some very appropriate psycho talk to support a not so healthy perspective. Something I might add, that is very easily and commonly done by those who chose to exploit others. They know how to say all the right things, they just don't know how to live them.

This troll commented early on in this series of posts. I didn't address it until now because I hoped maybe she would follow along to see what really happened. I posted emails and BG's accounting in their entirety so it could not be said I edited them to manipulate the truth. The truth is right there in those posts and I have the hard copies of those documents to prove it. The owners of the two horses can easily be asked if they support my version of their transactions if one wonders about those things. There is plenty of evidence to support my claims on all counts.

There were those comments made about my training abilities and the inference I couldn't know what happened with Storm because I didn't see what they did. My training abilities I guess will speak for themselves over time. As for Storm I have repeatedly said I did not see him worked but that doesn't mean I can't tell what was done to him. All one has to do is look at the way he was moving to know that. Also I did have the benefit of seeing what was done with other horses to know what happened with Storm. Then there is the clinic I took the horse to so the training that had been done could be evaluated by Wendy Potts. It was pretty clear that she agreed with me the horse was very messed up. If Wendy Potts doesn't have the credentials to determine an improperly trained horse for this troll, then she is in big trouble.

I'm hoping with all this information the troll will question the two extremes between their story and mine. Maybe along the way she might pay attention to their behavior and the lies they so easily tell from very little things on up the line. Lying is second nature to them and it is something I abhor. It will be easy for her to see if she looks for it. Maybe she will be able to look outside their group for the impressions of others about me and my standards and ethics, not because I want her to trust me or support me, but because I hope she can learn not to blindly trust them. I know from personal experience placing blind trust in people who don't deserve it can get you into a lot of trouble.

With that being said I want to say I did not take anything this troll said personally. It was very easy for me to see that this information was more a repetition of something either overheard or said specifically to the troll than some conclusion drawn based on an interaction with me or anything read here or on my other blog.

That doesn't mean that I am not concerned that such untruths are being circulated. For those behind such malicious untruths, I do have recourse if they do not desist. I learned enough in my journey through the legal system to know how to deal with such slanderous and libelous activities AND I have no qualms about putting that knowledge to use.

I hope this is the END of this journey.

This is another picture of Scandalous Chance. This shot shows the animation in his canter. The first time I saw him canter his feet were over the top of his head he was so animated. I didn't know what to think of it. It took me a while to even figure out what I had been looking at was a canter at all. Truly an amazing horse, how I would love to see him reach his potential some day.

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  1. Very cute picture. And a very talented little guy from the beginning.

    Unfortunately, I don't think you can expect this little troll to change her mind. She has already drunk the Kool-Aid and is a follower in the cult of these two.

  2. The gracious manner in which you are addressing this says an awful lot. Class act, lady , thats what you are

  3. Wow! That was a grand finale to an amazing production that kept me in attendance for the whole show!! Fernvalley01 said it perfectly!! I especially like those last few sentences that make the point that you will not be bullied or intimidated!! Certainly you did not feed the troll, but hopefully she will thoughtfully take to heart your concern and warning. You are an amazing woman with much courage and strength, I would like to think that I am like you in many ways. You may have made some poor choices, (don't we all, on occaison) but you saw the situation through and persevered to the end. I most admired when the jabs that were intended to break you merely strengthened your resolve. I do hope this experience will cause them to think twice before walking a similar path again. Kudos to you, Mikael, well done!!

  4. Arlene, you may be right. I guess time will tell but I sure hate to see the kind of influence they have over those kids.

    fernvalley, I don't really know what to say except it just seems like the right thing to do.

    dinkleberries, do you know that someone we both know is involved with BG?

  5. I can completely understand where you are coming from in all of this. While the statement about showing against your grand daughter was made, it could have also been thrown in there to change who you may think it actually is. (Sorry if the cynic in me is showing through again. People have been known to pull stuff like that and not much really surprises me anymore.)

    Your words may not be taken for the truth in their eyes, but at some point you can hope this person opens their eyes and mind and sees through all the crap they are being fed and/or told by others. Maybe one day it will become clear to them that actions speak far louder than words.

    When that happens, they will have reached a turning point in their own life and will really start to step up and take notice of the little things, the subtleties in the whole picture, not just the he said-she said, here and there.

    I'm am glad you didn't let this get to you and can only hope this person learns from this and becomes a better person when it is all said and done. You have by far, shown yourself to be a strong person with character, dignity, integrity and pride in what you do. As it has been said, when you stick to the truth, there is only one version to remember of how things happen and what was said.

    You truly are in a class of your own and will one day have risen to the top of your game. Winning Hi Point on Legs in your division at the Daffodil shows, should be a fair indication of that. Keep up the great work! Ride on....

  6. that foal is a wonder! what ever became of him?