Tuesday, April 19, 2011

TNJ......... The Ultimate Betrayal..........

Part One

With the fate of the lawsuit decided everything about The New Journey been pretty much covered except for the status of the horses themselves with the exception of one other bit of information still left untold. I said right from the start that there were some things that might not look like they were a part of this story that did indeed have bearing on my journey through those months.

My readers may have wondered at times why I was including situations surrounding my relationship with MD and GD into this mix. Where those situations part of my personal journey? Of did they, indeed, have something to do with the situation with Storm? Certainly they were all wrapped up with WF and BG right smack dab in the middle but did they have anything directly to do with Storm?

MD claimed from the point that BG decided I was no longer welcome at their facility that she was not taking sides. Why she would even want to continue to do business with someone who was literally trying to steal a horse from me is beyond me but it seemed to make sense to her. I tried to give her the room to live her life on her terms so I left it alone.

She did say that she would testify in my behalf if need be but there were items among BG's claims that she seemed to support like that charge for a horse in a full care stall for 9 months. I had to assume because she hadn't been there much of the time she was remembering more along the lines of what BG said instead of what had actually happened. Her memory might just be BG's conversations about what happened instead of what really did. I was willing to give her that.

Still I found myself confused a lot of the time. It just seemed to me that we were growing farther and farther apart while they were growing closer and closer to BG and WF. Something about it just did not make sense to me especially knowing spending any time around BG is not good for the self esteem, not mine nor any of those kids. The man plays some pretty powerful head games and I saw enough evidence to know it affects everyone around him. It was a scary thought GD was living in their home on weekdays at the mercy of that kind of treatment.

As the stories of MD's behavior began to leak back to me through my friends who had found themselves in business transactions with her, I began to see that maybe MD had not experienced the personal growth I thought she had. Dramatic differences between her ethics and mine were beginning to show themselves and to be frank, really caught me off guard. None of this was what I expected from MD.

By the time it was discovered that she had forged a lease document to show a horse, I had to admit that MD's behavior more resembled that of WF and BG than anything she learned from me. Between that and the odd behavior of telling people I hated GD and other stories painting me as the bad guy with that relationship really got me wondering. Was this the behavior of an insecure teenager or was something more behind it? Considering MD's part in continuing those stories, what were they up to?

With all of these things and others I haven't even mentioned, I began to see that maybe, just maybe, MD was not the silent onlooker she pretended. There was the chance she was really a co-conspirator of sorts. Maybe she had not been responsible for the initial assault on my being but one of those sharks smelling blood and circling the water. Why would MD do such a thing?

I didn't really have to ask myself that question. I have known for much of her life. MD has always blamed someone, anyone, for her life not being what she's wanted and her primary target has usually been me. I thought there had been some healing between us. Now I found I must question that in a pretty big way.

I began to see the game that she'd played on me so many years ago only in a little bit different format. The assault she made on my heart in a suicide note saying she was doing this (attempting suicide) because she wanted to hurt me. There was no other explanation than she wanted to cause me pain.

Since then I have always known she was capable of inflicting such pain again. I knew right from the start she was capable of using her children as weapons against me. For some time I tried to protect myself from that possibility but I had opened the door when I tried to help my GD into the world of horses.

I had hoped that horses for her might be what they had meant to me. She had loved them so as a toddler. I thought that yearning would be as strong in her as it had been in me. I threw the door to my heart wide open in my attempts to help her find some comfort in her life but it was not to be. Who knows? Maybe GD could not see my vision because she had not come into this of her own accord but driven by the vengeance of her mother. I must consider that possibility.

Whatever the reason, GD had chosen to reject my attempts to share my world of horses with her. While MD first seemed interested in joining in that endeavor, she also rejected that relationship but joined BG and WF. Instead of horses becoming a healing thing between myself, MD and GD, somehow it had ended up as the horses being used against me as a weapon.

As the months passed on and the wounds piled up I found my one form of comfort was compromised. Every time I was around a horse, I thought about the pain of my relationship with MD and GD. Was that just something that happened? Or was it a deliberate, calculated plan of MD's?

Maybe I will never know the answer but I can tell you what I do know and then you can decide what you think. I know that shortly after I got Storm home, I had a friend ask me what I thought had/or would happen between WF and BG with MD and GD now that Storm had been returned to me?

I must admit it seemed like an odd question to me. Why would it matter that Storm had been returned? Knowing the answer to that question made her original question more understandable, "Well, they were partners on that horse."

My immediate response, "What do you mean? Who was partners on Storm" The answer, "MD and GD."

I will admit back when I first heard that MD had bought a partnership on a horse with BG, my second thought was about Storm. I dismissed that thought thinking it just didn't make sense or maybe I didn't want it to make sense. Whatever the reason, I dismissed it and barely gave it another thought until I was asked that question on this day after Storm was returned.

Now that the possibility of this betrayal was exposed, I just couldn't digest it. There was just not enough information there for me to compute this. I had to ask how my friend had come to this conclusion. The response I got was GD told her very excitedly several weeks before that they were partners on Storm. When the words fell from GD's mouth, immediately, MD joined the pair and shushed GD up. My friend had no doubt that MD did not want GD talking to her about it and the subject was dropped. BUT my friend heard from other friends of GD the very same thing. MD and GD bought into a partnership on Storm while we were involved in the lawsuit to get him back.

Looking back at some of their behavior, it actually makes sense in the context of this new discovery. If they wanted to justify why they would do such a thing as buy into a partnership on a horse that was gotten at my expense, portraying me as the bad guy would certainly be important. Still it makes me just shake my head in disbelief.

Was this as big a blow to my heart as that suicide note twenty something years ago? You're darn right. Has it changed me forever? Yes, that too. Is this the end of this story? Well, it's the end of a very long and difficult year and it's certainly the end of the story of Storm's time with BG and WF.

Where do we do from here? The story of Storm's return home is here.
Next I will post a brief accounting of the status of each horse that BG worked with during the course of our contract. Then I will begin posting about the rehabilitation of Storm and the other horses as those unfold. And I'm going to post the comment about this series and my relationship with MD and GD left by a troll on my other blog From there I'll be posting about the rest of my life with Arabian horses, something even these four people can not ever take away from me.

What do you think? Do you believe it? Or did you see it coming?

Let's Talk about the Horses.....

This picture is Scandalous Chase (the horse bought by YW) and his mother, Bey Aana who is Storm's mother. That makes this gelding a full brother to Storm.

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  1. Utterly heartbreaking, MiKael. I'm so sorry. :(

  2. I'm pretty intuitive about a lot of things but I can honestly say I never saw this coming. If it was one of my daughters or granddaughters my heart would be broken too. I'm sorry you have to go through this heartache. And I'm sorry for your daughter and granddaughter that they can't seem to take responsibility for their own failings. It's called growing up and being a mature adult. Hopefully, some day they will get counseling and come to realize how much they are missing by not being in your life the way they should be.

  3. As one mother to another, I grieve with you...The relationship is gone; blood is not thicker then water, and some of our most loved ones can be the most destructive to our hearts. Blood is NOT thicker then water.

    Does this mean that you cant ever have a relationship with them? No, but once the bond of trust is broken, its never the same again. And unless both sides take an oath to build a relationship anew, it will never work. And thats when you have to walk away, even though you will always love them...yes, even mothers walk away from their children when they become someone they dont know. Someone needs to tell this to all those who blame and take advantage of their parents. There is no law saying that Mothers need to be their adult child's punching bag.

    The sad thing in all of this?

    GD will do the same thing to her Mother. Its a guarantee.

    hugs to (((Mikael)))

  4. one thing that I know is that horses tell you exactly how it is, black and white, no grey areas. People on the other hand...or should I say, some people...

    Another thing I know is that for horse people who love horses, you can't be in this life without horses.

    yes, we can pick our friends. Yes, we can pick our horses.

    have fun with the horses in your life, and the people you chose to join you.

  5. OK. I didn't see that coming. Having heard you say it, I am not surprised, but I so didn't see it coming.

    I'm really sorry. That is just devastating.

  6. A dear friend is going through a terrible break with her daughter. This is the absolute worst.

    So sorry.

  7. Shocking, completely.
    It makes sense on BG and WF's part. They offer a partnership and they were guaranteed theat your family wouldn't support you in the lawsuit, but for your daughter to do it, incomprehensible.

  8. What a crushing blow. Never would I have guessed this would have happened.
    I am so sorry....

  9. No...I didn't see it coming. I knew they had done something that hurt you badly, but I thought it had something to do with testimony. To be actively involved in the theft of your horse(even after the face)is beyond the pale.

  10. Wow! I really didn't see that coming. I knew you said it got worse, but I thought they weren't going to testify for you. That or testify for BG. I never even thought if this. I can't even imagine what a blow this was to you. I know that in reading this journey I feel that we have gotten a pretty good glimpse of your ideals and I know you would never take a blow like this easily.
    I hope that you get your joy of horses back.

  11. VERY beautiful baby. I understand what you've said about Bey Aana and what she brings to get foals.

  12. I also didn't see it coming, but I'm not surprised :(

    I'm holding out hope for your grand daughter- age and growth might change her perspective. If she knows that your door is always open to her, she might just walk through it someday...

  13. I didn't see it coming either. Absolutely heartbreaking--the whole story. There is no such thing as perfect parents, but I think it's a very dangerous road for children to go down when they carry anger and blame their parents for their "lives". It invites tragedy. I hope you can heal from that betrayal, but it would be a hard one to get past.I hope your daughter sees her mistake and comes to you to apologize and reconcile and restore your relationship.

  14. I honestly did not see that coming. But the way that you lead us up to it in this post made me not surprised.

    It sure is hard to consider, either that it was all calculated against you, or simply reading too far into it. But the fact that she purchased a share while you were already in the process of getting him back, speaks very loudly to her intentions.

  15. I did not even have a glimmer that this was going on. I am so sorry Mikael for all that you have been through. I do hope you get your joy back, you deserve to be able to enjoy the lovely horses that you have.

    That picture is just GORGEOUS!!!!!!!!

  16. Mikael, I did not see this coming at all and I am beyond sorry to read it. I hope that through time, things heal between you and your GD and daughter. I'm so sorry you had to endure that, but I'm glad to know that Storm is back at your farm and that your beautiful horses are helping you to recover.

  17. I never saw this coming and would have been completely blindsided. I admire you taking the high road but I personally probably would have engaged in a full tilt screaming session that would have left our relationship permanently broken. I'm working up a pretty good huff just reading about it. I am so sorry it turned out this way.

  18. I have to say, I honestly didn't see it coming, but it doesn't surprise me either.

    Sad but true and nobody screws you like family. They know your weaknesses and when to strike for the strongest effects.

    I can only hope for the best outcome for you, your family and the horses, whatever that may be. Knowing your character- you will always find your way. {hugs}

  19. Wow, just wow. I definitely didn't see that coming. I can't even begin to understand the line of thinking involved.

  20. Long-time lurker here. I had a feeling that they had had something to do with it when I read the title of your post, but couldn't predict it by any means. I'm very, very sorry that things happened this way. I admit to feeling a bit bemused that their duplicity backfired when you got your horse back. Hoisted by their own petard, as it were. Glad to see the truth won out. I look forward to all of your posts and pictures of your beautiful horses.

  21. I honestly did not see it coming , I cannot imagine a daughter being so hateful and hurtful to her own mother. There are some lines in life regardless of what you may or may not feel entitled to that you just do not cross. Sadly she is teaching her daughter those same ethics . My heart breaks for you such a betrayel of trust .