Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The New Journey..........Heading in the Right Direction

Part One

I knew the instant I sent off the email asking BG about the money he still owed me for Storm that whatever dispute BG and WF were having over whose name would appear on the papers would no longer be important. I suspected they would immediately try to negotiate those papers even knowing that the debt had not been fulfilled in my eyes.

Instead of trying to resolve any conflict, they would take the easy route sending those papers into the registry so they could keep the horse regardless of whether they'd fulfilled the terms of the contract or not. There was no doubt in my mind this would be their plan of action at this time. I was so sure of it, I would have staked my life on it.

The first thing I did to circumvent this action was to call the registry to begin the process of applying for duplicate papers. I hoped I could do it over the phone and pay with a credit card to have the process in the works to block any transfer when the papers from BG and WF arrived there. Unfortunately. the paperwork included an affividavit that needed to be signed and sealed by a notary.

I explained to the registry what my problem was. I told the woman how WF and BG had obtained the papers under the guise of showing in owner classes and how stupid I had been to sign them and that BG and WF had not returned them to me. I also told her that they were now claiming the horse was paid for when he was not. Since the papers had been kept under improper circumstances they were effectively "stolen." What was important was that BG and WF had no right to have the papers on the horse.

The person at the registry told me that if the seal of the notary was done in a manner that it would show on a fax, that I could fax the application for duplicate papers to them. Then I would be able to pay with my credit card. Then any transfer using the original papers should be immediately blocked.

Thanks to computer technology I was able to download the application for a duplicate certificate of registration right then and there off the internet. As soon as it was in my hands, I filled it out stating the reason for needing duplicate papers as "Lost or Stolen."

I shudder that I even used the term lost. There I was still wanting to give them some benefit of the doubt yet again. Maybe those papers hadn't been returned to me because they had misplaced them. Right?? Although I really knew in my heart, they kept them because they thought it gave them the ability to keep my horse.

Once I had the paperwork all filled out, Dave and I headed to our bank to get the portion required to be done by a notary public singed and sealed. I had to swear that what I said was true and sign on the dotted line. As the notary filled out her portion we got to talking about what this whole thing was about. Being a horse person herself, she just sighed and shook her head, then made the usual comment about how many bad people there seem to be in the horse industry.

I had no problem swearing what I said was true because I now finally believed that BG was not the man I had given him credit to be. Now it was painfully obvious to me that I had made a huge mistake. It was easy to tkae an oath because what I said is true. I AM the owner of Scandalous Storm and those people had not right to him if they weren't willing to meet the terms of the contract or pay for him.

Once it was signed, I came home and faxed the paperwork to the registry. Then I called the woman to confirm it had been received at her end. Pulling out my credit car, I gave her the number and the transaction was done. Before I got off the phone the original papers had been cancelled and I was told the new "duplicate" papers would be printed by the end of the week.

Considering all the things that had happened to this point, you would think I would have felt some relief at getting this done but there was none. With everything that had happened, I would believe the paperwork was really fixed only when the duplicate was in my hands. That was going to be around a week and I suspected it was going to be a very long week.

However, there was a huge relief that did wash over me when this whole process began to unfold last Janurary. It wasn't about the papers in any way. It happened when the realization hit me that I didn't ever have to return to that facility to work with BG.

While you would think I should have been disturbed by the changes that was going to cause in my life, I found myself totally relieved of pressure. Even though I now had not help with my horses and no covered arena to train them in, for the first time in many many months, I felt liberated.

That may sound like an odd thing to say and I remember thinking as much as when that wave hit me. It was only when I knew I didn't have to return and the heaviness lifted off of me that I realized how opressed I had become under the influence of that man.

Up until that time I had no clue being around him was influencing me in such a way. I had not seen his head games. His inferences were always so subtle, I thought I was dismissing them, when in actuality I was taking them on. His constant repepition of these comments wore me down until I believed them.

All those old messages I'd long since silenced had been triggered by his assualts on my self esteen and once again played strongly in my head. He managed to convince me that I was alone in a hostile world. No one liked me, not even my own children and grandchildren and I hadn't even realized it was happening. I had trusted him and believed in him.

It was only when the weight lifted I realized why that dark depression, I had not experienced in twenty years, had captured me again. I knew I had been struggling with the black hole beckoning me for months. I just could not figure out how I had gotten back to that place. I had all the skills to change that self talk but something (really someone) kept undermining them. I just didn't get it until I felt the release of its hold on my psyche. It was a powerful experience.

I was difficult to deny that big a change in how I felt. It was instantaneous and there was absolutely no doubt where it had come from. I felt like I'd been released from a prison and was seeing daylight for the first time in many months. There was no denying I was glad to be away from that influence even if I had to deal with the ugliness of a lawsuit, I felt relieved.

Finally seeing this man for what he really was became a motivation for me. I could now see what I was really up against and I was prepared to do battle. I was going to see that this thing was made right no matter what it cost me. There is nothing that drives me more than injustice in life. I hate it and I refuse to let it rule me.

Dave was looking at this dragon that was unleashed and shaking his head. "That man has no idea what is coming his way. If he was smart, he'd be bringing Storm home."

To be continued.........

My Response

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  1. Amazing! What a great feeling. FREEDOM!!! Unfortunately, when you signed those papers over to him, he had you as a hostage of sorts and you kept hoping for a good outcome while it slipped ever further away. I think your gut instinct was absolutely right--if they'd already reckoned their debt settled, then they were obviously thinking things through and going to get those papers in!! I'm so glad you moved fast.

  2. That feeling you had when removing yourself from that environment tells me that you were probably a victim of brainwashing. I had a man like that in my life long ago, and it was amazing how he could mold me into whatever he wanted by manipulating my self esteem and beliefs.

  3. Linda, me too, especially since I know for sure my instincts were correct.

    Nuzz Muzz, funny you should mention that when it has certainly been something that seemed possible.

  4. Wow so glad you got out of there!

  5. When you describe the feeling of release and freedom,it brought to mind a similar feeling for me from years ago.Mine was after I finally and fairly succinctly ended a relationship. (someday I will tell you privately ,CNJ laughs too hard about this one) Suffice to say ,there was closure. I didn't realise how exhausted I was until weeks later when I fell apart and was sobbing uncontrollably in my house .the subtle damages and undermining of a bad (read emotionally abusive )relationship , had a very similar effect . He had manipulated you and the situation so totally as to take away your very center with what you already know . SO glad you got you and your horses free . and I suspect Dave was right , you don't sound like the kind of Momma Bear I would mess with . I wonder does BG read this blog. I doubt he is likely to have remorse , most sociopaths are without conscience, but I do wonder if he follows ,and why

  6. Crystal, me too, without a doubt.

    fern, looking forward to that story.

    It's just so much easier looking back to see what happened.

    I do think Dave was right on the mark but I doubt they have much idea how prepared I really was to take this to court. As for BG reading this blog, I don't know that for sure but I suspect he is getting reports. If that is so, then they'll get the opportunity to know how well prepared I was.

  7. One of the most important things you did was getting those papers before they filed theirs. Good thinking on your part. It's hard to fight someone who has the legal right to their own property.

    The feeling of freedom and a weight being lifted off your shoulders told you how repressed and brainwashed you really were. It's the first step to getting back your self esteem and confidence. I'm sure the court battle was a no brainer for the judge. Especially, since you were so well prepared for it. Good for you.

  8. Wow! So, I'm assuming that if you took Storm back, you in effect owed BG money for all of the training he had done and the board fees? I assume that is what the court was deciding- how much to pay? I'm having a hard time just reading this in bite sized chunks!

  9. You get him girl!!! (I know this has already happened and you did, but still).

    I hope you gave this ignorant blowhard what for! Seriously, I wanted to comment on your last post but I couldn't understand a word that man wrote. He has a knack for stringing words together in a way that makes no sense at all.

  10. What an amazing relief this must have been getting those papers back as well as not having to go back into that situation!

    Can't wait to hear the next installment.

  11. Arlene, in this case it would have made it look like the horse was their property but he wasn't since he wasn't paid for yet.

    No comments about the judge, it was not as simple as you might think.

    Heather, you're getting ahead of the story. There are still things to cover before we got to the actual lawsuit. Some very important things that affected the outcome, I think. Sorry about the "bite size chunks" as you call them. Not only is it too much material for me to get all down in one post, I think it would be very confusing. So far I am still laying the groundwork for the case I was to make.

    smazourek, he does have a way of rambling like that. I realized after a while it was a way to avoid answering a question and also a way to make it look like he knew more than he actaully did.

    horsemom, it was a huge relief not having to go back there but I didn't have much trust in having the papers. I have experience with the justice system and I know that right and truth don't always prevail.

  12. When you have the papers in hand, can the bailiff or sherif go and collect the horse?

  13. I didn't know you had a Siberian Husky too! Cool. Is she gray/white?

    I'm following again. I'm hoping since I've managed to keep up with the blogs so far that adding back some of them won't get me behind again hehe. I missed seeing the pictures of your gorgeous Arabs. :)

  14. achieve1dream, I guess they call her a silver and she has a mask. Her name is Delilah. There are puppy pics of her up here on the blog but nothing current.

    I get behind sometimes too. Have too many in my reader.