Sunday, February 13, 2011

The Fork in the Road........... Exactly What Is This?

Part One

BG and I were not scheduled to work horses until Tuesday morning so I guess I should have known I would have no response to my actions until Monday evening. It was mid evening when I got a text message from BG that read,

With all these people being deleted off of your friends list, where does that leave us?

My response to him via text was

I don't know. Where does that leave us?

I got a response via text that was also sent to my email. These first emails from BG I will include in their entirety so there will be no questions about any editing process or that I have done something to show them out of context. You can see them exactly as I received them.
This first one read

I feel that I have worked very hard to include being supportive. We are at an impassse and may go our seperate way, but in no way would I badmouth you. I have enjoyed working with you and your horses. It was a great opportunity. I did not deserve being removed from your friends list. I took this badly. If WF's opinion or statement offended you, you should have spoken to her. If Doms statement with regards to him saying something about your post offended you then you can't hold me responsible for that either. Everyone has commented either by facebook or email regarding this. You may not believe that this affects us both but it does. This fed right into what they may think or perceive. At this point I believe this hurts us both. At this moment I don't want to feed this issue any longer and I do understand that this affects your networking and marketing of your program. When someone crituques and or makes observations about what I think or do I don't eliminate or discredit them. What was an opinion or statement turned into taking actions that hurt peoples feelings, mine and my wife's.

NOTE: Looking at this now, I realize that I didn't even know what he was talking about in reference to "Doms statement" because this person was not one who commented on my Facebook page. I also notice that he has once again referred to WF as his wife when in fact they were NOT married. The only reason I point this out is that the importance is in the lie. The lie itself may not be of any particular consequence but the fact that he tells them quit easily is of significant importance in the course of things. How significant will reveal itself as the story continues to unfold.

I was not going to post my entire email response to this message because of the size of it but then I thought if I was going to post the complete content of his emails, I should probably post mine. Instead of relying on my memory or a synopsis of what I said, you will get the whole email as it was sent to BG. The only changes that have been are changing names to the acronyms I have assigned and I substituted "his business" for it's actual name. From there these emails have just been a copy and paste from the original documents.

I would like you to consider where I was coming from here. You have asked me a number of times if I have posted this or that about things that are currently happening with the horses and I have not althought I am going to begin soon.

We started these horses last fall and the people who read my blog know that. It is now a year and a half later and the horses are not even going in a frame yet and that is ok with me but I want people to know why.. Otherwise they will assume there is something wrong with them that they have not made more progress so that is what I did. I explained why I had not been working them in detail. And then so no one would assume that you had been working them, I covered that too. It was nothing more than a statement of fact. Neither of us were working the horses. I mentioned that you had your reasons but I didn't repeat them. I did not think it was my business to do so.

There was no blame or malice intended nor spoken. Yet "WF" jumped all over me as did "the blogger" and "PW". This is not the first time that you or "WF" have jumped to a conclusion about what I have written. The last time it was a text message that you took offense to. I meant nothing then and I meant nothing now. It was nothing but a statement of fact as it related to the horses.

What was read into it was never my intention. I just wanted people to understand the horses do not have as much time on them as they might think.

It is frustrating to have something read into what I wrote that is not my intention. I asked some people I trust to tell me if I am out of line to read what I wrote and give me their opinion. They did not see anything more than what I intended.......the information these horses have not been getting worked. They did not see me blaming you in any way. Whether you believe it or not, that is the truth. This was nothing more than me trying to make sure people understand the horses are still for very green for a valid reason. I would think you would understand the importance of that.

The only reason I am on FB is to promote my business. I want to get people interested in my horses so I can sell them. It is a professional thing for me. You said if I had a problem with WF I should talk to her. Well, I feel the same way instead she posted her complaint in a setting that didn't look good for either one of us. I tried to answer but it was clear it was not going to be resolved there. I deleted the comments and took "your business" off my friends list to stop the comments knowing they were not going to be productive and it was not going to look good for either one of us. That's all there is to it.

You got your feelings hurt and so did I. The real question is what happens next.

Just for the record I should probably add the information about the one other time I had BG jump all over me and take a text out of context. In that particular text message what I said was "Are we working horses today?" For that simple text I was sworn at and told that he was finished with me. He started off with a statement "What in the F*CK is that supposed to mean?" and it declined from there. (the F word was not edited in his message) I managed to get things smoothed over but looking back at that incident, it was quite telling of things to come.

It was the following morning before I got a response. I knew the lack of it meant we were not working horse so I just waited to see what would come my way.

I understand what your saying, and do understand your marketing approach. I consider you a friend and that's why this is hard. Indirectly everything I say and do could have a effect on you. I have other proclaimed friends or people that have accepted or have been accepted as friend that are lurking in the background watching, seeing and waiting to see what happens to our relationship. I agree and so do they that you have a quality horse that has more potential than most.

On the other hand this so called association has been viewed in your own words is about you. In the real world as I see it people are entitled to their opinion and comments, this is healthy. The so called people who lurk in the background wait to see how we, you , or I handle adversity. We can't always be happy with what others say, we defuse it and move on. Feeding it and picking up our toys and going home is not the answer. I also believe that in any commodity one needs the competition as well as the negative opinions to be successful. Our actions either support or negate our existence as professionals.

I also post and have facebook for a reason, not the same as you but in my eyes just as important. People ask questions regarding your blog or comments.. I say one thing and you present a different view, and that may be because of your business. I use facebook to keep those new and old in touch about my family, the barn. You have been a welcome associate to this on our end, but in my eyes it more seems as I might be a deterrent in your arena. I have my pride and I might not be viewed as educated as yourself, and I might not always see or perceive the same in your comments, but then again those who commented don't either.... Presentation... again I know you don't see that.

I also know that everything I say now can, and will be turned around and viewed as "what about you" but then again in my small world, "what about me" this may hurt us both, this is the perfect time to part ways and do our own things. I have enjoyed my time from you have picked up quite a few training tips that I intend to use, modify for own my use. Again I want to thank you for the opportunity in working with you and your wonderful horses. I love them all as they were my own. You are truly a horseman and friend.

I really need to move on and take myself out of the loop, I'm going to be 54 in a week or so and want to take my life down a step.

So there it was just not in plain words. He hadn't made the statement I don't owe you anything but he was pretty much telling me he was done working my horses. Now the question was , What about Storm?

To be continued.................

The Worm Turns.....

Note: Let me know what you think about the emails in their entirety. There are a couple more coming that are quite lengthy. Do you want to read the whole thing or should I pull out the important parts??

Visit Blog Village and vote daily for this blog Here They are now measuring the rankings by votes out, so if you find my blog on the site, please click that link too to improve my rankings. TY


  1. I truly don't understand how he thinks he or his (wife)? can start a little sh*t and then cut you loose disregarding the agreement that they had with you. It's as if they are saying "here's your hat, what's your hurry" and don't bother about that horse you left here it's ours now because we "touched" your horses enough.

    Did he think you were so naive that you would leave Storm there when they basically voided the contract by not holding up their end of the agreement.

    As for the emails, I guess that's up to you. Whatever you think tells the story best.

  2. I find his email impossible to understand, except for the part where he says it's time to part ways. This must have been very stressful.

  3. Arlene, I don't know what to tell you about how either of them think. Even though he knew up front it should take a couple of years to pay off the horse, I think once they had the papers they didn't think they had to honor that contract.

    While she had told me I should do the math, she obviously had not done it herself. Even with the numbers he was trying to claim at that time, the math did not figure out to the price of the horse. I think his next email says a lot.

  4. If you can post the e-mails as they were I vote to do that. I read your blog everyday so I don't mind at all if there is a long post with the e-mails in them. I find that it is always best to put as much information as possible out to the world and let people make up their own minds.

  5. I'm nosy and retired so have all the time in the world to read entire e-mails. This is probably not true for your other readers. Is there any way to post the entire e-mail and perhaps highlight the important parts for those who want to read less? I know that would be more work for you so feel free to ignore this idea.

  6. Looks like a lot of posing going on to me. I'm certain you did the right thing by deleting the comments and even removing them off the friends list. My thinking is they were hoping you wouldn't be that astute or professional.
    . . . .and the saga continues. . . .

  7. I can't believe he thought there could be a problem and he could just call it done and keep the horse!

  8. Suddenly he is hurt and needs to take a step back????Seriously this guy is either delusional or a pathologicla liar!Guess what my vote is ?

  9. I like the way you're presenting the emails. It adds a deeper dimension and makes it more real. You've both been cordial to each other in these exchanges--the big question is what about Storm? It's the elephant in the room and everything hangs in the balance.

  10. His email made no sense to me wither, sounds like he was looking for some reason to drop you. I think he realized he was in over his head with your horses, he couldn't be the real trainer he was posing as because you had too much experience and were there everyday to oversee it.
    What I see a lot is these trainers that take on a horse and say I put so many days on your horse, when in fact they haven't put half of that time on them, but who is to know because the owner isn't there. Unfortunately for him, you were there.

    Off topic but I wanted to tell you I watched that video of the little girl on your horse in the walk trot class and what a wonderful horse!
    That little girl looks like she's been lunge lined quite a bit so she had a decent enough seat for her age but no steering what so ever and your horse did so well despite it.
    I would love for my boys to have a horse like that!

  11. Carol, it was very stressful. I think to understand what these emails mean it's important to remember those messages BG was always sending my way. These emails are ladden with them.

    OnTheBit, I think I probably do that. I agree it's best to put it all out there and let people make up their own minds.

    Ms Martyr, that's a good idea. I'll see if I can figure out a way to do that in blogger. I'm not that tech savy but now that there are font options, or maybe I could bold what I think are the important parts. Thanks for the idea.

    dinkleberries, you've been pretty astute about this yourself. And indeed it does.....

    wilson, I know, it's hard to figure, isn't it?

    fern, yes, that's is what he said but did you catch the other messages in there?

    Linda, it was the elephant in the room for me. I don't think he thought it needed to be addressed.

    horsemom, I think your perception is probably correct. I think it turned out to be way more work than he wanted to do and because they had the papers he didn't think he had to.

    As for my horse, thank you, I appreciate that. He is a great horse and he was amazing with her. He is just standing in my barn wishing he was working. I don't recall if you were actively looking for the right horse for your boys or not but I might be open to something if it would be the right thing for him. Let me know if you want to talk about it.

  12. What is with all the people "lurking in the background"? I don't get it. Was that him alluding to the friends he thought you were going to lose or the business he was worried about losing if you fell out?

    I agree with GHM, that was so wishy-washy I can't make heads or tails of it- but I'm interested in reading more.

  13. It seems to me at 54 or 52 years old he should be over playing games...
    I see the "lurkers" more as him trying to threaten/scare you into submission with unknown peer pressure.
    I think I basically got the connotation of his ramblings, but if he wanted to go his separate way from you he should have put on his big boy pants and said it like a professional.
    I have been reading this to my husband off and on to my husband, and in his opinion BG is why it's easy for others to bad mouth "horse people".
    I too think you should post his e-mails in their entirety!

  14. smazourek, if you think back to the early posts "I dont care what they say about you, MiKael Caillier, I like you." and those implications that he and YW had all kinds of power in the horse industry while I did not, look at his email and in that context and see if it brings meaning into things.

    Also there is that message, I won't badmouth you, so don't you badmouth me. I was chided many times for saying what I thought here on my blog even if it was something that didn't go well.

    nikker, you have hit the nail right on the head. That is exactly the game. It began before we even got into the contract with Storm, the grooming to get me to believe I needed them and I also needed to live by their code which is to keep your mouth shut. That code makes sense for them. They have a lot to hide.

  15. Oh wow, MiKael, that would be so amazing! But I think my hubby would have a heart attack. If he gives even the slightest inclination of considering I will let you know so we could chat:)

  16. Whew! Just poped in to catch up and Holey Smokes...

    As soon as the FB thing happened, I would have filed for the duplicate papers. Cover your A$$ets move on your part. Let them sort it out later on.

    Post the emails in their entirety (sp?) we can always skim over them or read them in depth as time allows. I'm good with that.

  17. Hi MiKael! I have been reading your blog for a few months but I don't think I've ever commented before now. I don't own any horses, never have, but have loved them all my life. When I was younger I took lessons, hung out at the stables whenever I could get someone to drive me there, had friends who owned horses and went to shows as their groom, etc. Then life happened. OK enough about me.

    I wish I were more surprised that this trainer is turning out to be a d-bag, but it has been my sad discovery in life that there are many con-artists out there masquerading as business people. What makes this so much worse is that not only did this affect you and your business, but your horses as well. That is unforgivable.

    I am glad you decided to fight him legally, but so, so sorry it came down to that. I know Storm is grateful that you did.

    As for the emails? It's up to you, but I think it helps seeing exactly what he wrote, and I don't believe it will make the post too long. We are all here to find out what happened. I'm with Ms. Martyr - I'm nosy and unemployed so if you put it out there I will read it!

  18. horsemom, well, it would have to be a good fit for everyone anyway but if it turns out you are interested email me and remember he is a big horse for an Arab.

    I meant to say before your observation about the girl's riding ability was sure spot on. Odd don't you think, that WF and BG thought she was ready to move onto something more challenging.

    CNJ, Holy Smokes is right! that certainly makes sense. Now let's see if that's how the story goes.

    Sue, thanks for commenting and introducing yourself. It's nice to meet you and thanks for the encouragement. It was very difficult to fight this battle but I'm very glad I did.

    The bad thing about this situation is that it fuels that fire that all trainers can't be trusted and I don't believe that. There are shady people in the horse industry just like everyplace else.