Inappropriate Behavior at the Horse Show

I had expected to begin today posting about Rachel and Grandma and an Arabian Horse at the horse show this last weekend. However, I don't want to get this ugliness mixed up with how things went for Rachel and Grandma there.

Part of the reason that we are doing horse shows with Rachel is because we want good wholesome activities to do together. It's funny how you can just assume that when you go someplace in public you can count on the fact that what happens will be what you expect.

I guess any time you get a large group of people together you should count on the fact that there may be some weirdos in the bunch and about anything can happen. While this is something I am aware of, I still never expected to have anything like THIS happen at the horse show.

On Sunday I went over to the stalls of a friends. She gives lessons to a bunch of kids and an adult or two. They are very supportive of each other and are all normally at the horse show most of the day. I had a few minutes so stopped in to chat.

A few minutes after I got there, Colleen showed up and joined in the conversation. I was talking with one of the father's about Rachel and the problems with the kids at school.

He works at a school so he sees lots of things and we were having the discussion about how bad things can be and no one really does anything about it. He said there are good principles who care and deal with the problems and those who are in it for the money and don't do anything but push paper.

So here we are talking about kids being out of control and adults tolerating it when I see some strange movement out of the corner of my eye. I looked over and here is this maybe twelve or thirteen year old boy with his pants unzipped and a very long stuffed sock (or tube of some kind) hanging out of his pants. The kid is flipping that sock up and down like he's playing with himself, looking around, grinning from ear to ear.

Lookiing around, there were adults who knew this kid everywhere and many of them saw what this kid was doing but not one said a word. I looked back to Colleen and this father and could tell they had both seen the behavior as well. I commented about the fact that no adult was intervening and both just nodded their heads and agreed that's the way the world is today.

WELL, not MY world!! I couldn't stand it. I looked back over at the kid. I made eye contact with him and said:
"That is inappropriate behavior, and you know it. Knock IT Off!"

He could tell when I looked at him that I was going to confront him because his demeanor immediately changed. He dropped the sock when I told him to quit but just stood there looking at me. So I ordered him to zip up his pants! Which he did.

Then I turned back to the father I'd been talking with and asked him if he would be comfortable with his daughter (I think age 11) seeing that kind of behavior. He said no but still didn't act like he would have done a thing to stop it.

At which point I warned him that such behavior is an indication of poor sexual boundaries and the first markers for developing deviancy. Stated in simple terms that translates to the makings of future rapists and child molesters.

Offenders many times can seduce their victims by utilizing confusion. Acts such as this perpetuated in front of potential victims and not confronted actually aid offenders in tricking their victims into silence.

A child might feel uncomfortable witnessing such an event but because adults don't intervene, the child feels confused about the validity of their own feelings. That confusion is the number one tool child molesters use to trick their victims.

Because I know as much as I do about victim AND offender behavior, I couldn't have been more upset. Having to deal with this at a horse show where I have taken my family for good wholesome activities. I was past angry and into down right appalled.

Over my years of showing I've seen lots of kids out of control doing things they shouldn't be doing but never have I seen anything more than questionable from a safety standpoint with the kid doing whatever being the one most likely to suffer the consequences.

Never have I seen anything so blatantly and sexually inappropriate in such a public setting. I still can't get over the fact that NONE of the adults who knew this child intervened. Now, after it's all over, I'm regretting I didn't find out the name of that boy.