Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Plans.........



I apologize for my lack of updates. I have struggled with posting because I really wanted to write something fun and positive about my horses. The problem has been about all I can think about is pain. That's sure not been conducive to writing.

Even now as I type,  I struggle with what to write. I am torn between that force that draws me to horses and the one keeping me from them.

My intent for this blog has always been about education in one form or another. I have had strong opinions most of my life. Those I have regarding horses are no exception.

From my earliest days around horses I found myself championing causes I didn't even know others noticed. Not that anyone cared about my opinions in those early years but it only made sense that blogging would become a platform for the expression of those for me.

I have always thought much of the plight of horses had more to do with misinformation than outright meanness. The way I could see to combat the injustices horses still experience every day was to share my story both with its triumphs and its falls to maybe at least open up a conversation. There are so many ways that life affects not only the breed that I love, but the every day aspects of breeding, raising and training horses in this day and age.

While blogging I have tried to tell all aspects of my journey with horses. Life does not come sugar coated. To represent ir any other way would be a disservice to both the horses and those looking for information about life with horses.

In staying true to that goal, I guess it only makes sense that I should tell the story of what has happened to me these last nearly two years. It has, afterall, had a definite effect on my farm and my horses.

Every time I think about blogging I find myself fighting the words that want to come, trying to avoid the story that unfolded here. I have finally come to the conclusion if I ever hope to revive this blog I must submit to those words clamoring to reach the page.

Hopefully the telling of this story will help someone out there avoid the pitfalls I experienced in this fight for my life. It is after all one of the possibilities we all face in our journey with horses even though it is not one we like to think about and rarely plan for. As a result it makes us all the more vulnerable which is the last thing anyone needs in difficult times.

 If I have any readers left, you might want to brace yourself. This ride has been dark and ugly and it appears that is the only way the words will flow so that is how the coming posts will be. Hopefully, once I unplug this dam, the words will flow much more regularly than these past months.....

More to follow..............

32 comments:

  1. I'm here with you... hanging in and hanging on.

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    1. Thanks.it's good to know. I thought at this point there would be no one left.

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  2. I'm still reading, and I've been wondering how your family has managed the farm during your treatment and recovery. I've had multiple health scares since last fall, and my first thought was always, "What will happen with the horses? I'm the only one who can take care of them for any lengthy period of time..."

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    1. Sorry to hear that you have been ill. That really sucks. That question is why I figured I should post this mess. What has happened here over the last two years has sure given me a whole new perspective on that.

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  3. I'm glad to see that you've decided to write again, but I'm sorry that it's been such a tough journey.

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    1. Somehow life is always full of surprises but we are getting through this like we have all the others. I imagine the writing will help with that.

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  4. If you can survive living it, we can survive hearing about it. Sharing our stories is one of the ways in which we are human.

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    1. I think you're probably right about that and I suspect those who don't share end up feeling pretty isolated during times when they could really use a friend.

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  5. Good to hear from you! Been thinking of you and hoping all has been well.

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    1. I've been thinking of you too and hoping one day we might actually get a chance to catch up. From what I can tell, there have been some changes in your life since all this goofy stuff started for me but I'm not really sure if I understand what they are.

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  6. Writing, for me, is often healing in ways I never expect. Looking forward to hearing your journey.

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    1. Yes, writing is healing for me as well. I used to journal all the time back in my therapy days. Guess I should think about taking it up again.

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  7. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    1. This was a duplicate that somehow got posted. Sorry about the error.

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  8. I do realise what you mean, its sometimes hard to say what you want for fear of offending, starting a row, or being ostrasized. I do in my own life try and be honest with folk, its caused some problems, but overall, its ok. Say what you mean, and mean what you say.
    Go for it.

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    1. I certainly agree. I think it's much better to say what you mean than play games or with hold information. Protecting people's feelings never works because we can't really control how others feel anyway.

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  9. Looking forward to hearing about your journey.

    If you need help with your horses I might be able to help. I'm located on the kitsap peninsula. Let me know if I can do anything.

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    1. I can certainly use help if you are coming this way. My email contact is on my profile.

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  10. Glad to hear from you. I've even thinking about you and wondering how you were all doing. Writing about what happened will surely help.

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    1. I hope you're right. At the very least, I'll get these darn words out of my head. LOL

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  11. I'm still a reader!

    Don't worry about censoring yourself, or dragging us "down" - think of it as some kind of therapy!

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    1. I'm sure you're right on with the therapy thing. I'll feel better just thinking about getting it off my chest.

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  12. Glad to hear from you...good or bad. :) HUGS!

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    1. Thank you and the hugs are appreciated.

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  13. Well,some stories need to be told whether they are painful or not. Everyone has struggles and it is how we handle them that counts. I am sure as a good horse person that you have handled them the best way that you can. No One's perfect, so let the imperfection flow. One thing I know from your blog is that whether it is bad or not one thing remains and that is hope. Hope that someone will learn from your experience and I am sure we will.

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    1. I sure hope you are right. There are a number of lessons to be learned in this story.

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  14. I know what you mean. I don't think you're alone, for what that's worth, I think a lot of people have been going through tough, dark times. It's difficult to stay positive. I had a very good friend who died about a month ago, and it seems to have stopped me in my tracks. She was always the one everyone turned to for help, she was a great horse communicator (she hated "whisperer"). She was always the one to take on starvation or cruelty cases. Now how do we find places for her 15 horses?

    Anyway, I'll be interested to read your story, and I hope it helps you out.

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    1. What happened to your friend was one of my nightmares as this story unfolded. I did have plans for if I died but they were not complete enough and I didn't have plans for being disabled. That was a huge mistake and I have double that number of horses. Not good.

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  15. Glad to see you are still posting. As far as the horses go, it isn't always necessarily an illness that might throw a wrench into the works and screw things up. Sometimes it is life itself, and shit happens.

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    1. Boy, you got that right. Life can jump up and smack you in all kinds of ways besides illness and the horses can be caught in the middle. Not good.

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  16. the story you feel compelled to write will be the story we as your friends will be compelled to read. Don't forget we who love you will see through the pain and know of your grace and strength in this as well.

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  17. I've been missing your words. Always glad to hear from. Whatever story you tell, it will be the one that needs to be told.

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