I knew from when I'd talked with the surgeon early that morning what the protocol for me would be but what I didn't realize was how fast they would put things into action. It seemed from the first instant my bottom hit the sheets of that bed in my hospital room, they were off and running at full steam to get things done.
They wasted no time getting me to radiology for that second CT scan. I did manage to get my feet under me for the move from my bed to the gurney and then to their machine but I think it took longer for me to get on and off the gurney than it did for the actual test.
No sooner had I hit the gurney after the test than someone offered me another one of those warm blankets which I gratefully accepted. With hospital gowns being what they are even though I tried to avoid those fanny flashes, those transfers chilled me to the bone. With not one but two warm blankets in place I didn't mind waiting in the hallway waiting for someone to deliver me back to my room for the next portion of that protocol.
Of course the part of all of this I dreaded the most was those darn blood tests and IV placements. At this early stage of my hospital stay my arms looked pretty good to the phlebotomists or lab technicians but even at those early sticks I grimaced. Not from pain at that point but just the thought of what my arms had looked like and more importantly felt like those many years ago during my appendectomy hospitalization was enough to make me wince.
The professionals, on the other hand, had no idea of what my veins could look like under duress. All they cared about were the arms right in front of them. I heard repeatedly how beautiful and easy my veins were.
Knowing those terms also make for much less painful procedures, I was appreciative of them too but their use of the term "easy" sure made me think of those days with Lindsay and her cancer.
Being only ten at the time,Lindsay just didn't comprehend why it might be ok for anyone to hurt her. She was not a willing patient and they couldn't even get the blood drawn without my assistance. Things were much better for her when they finally put in a port and we no longer had to deal with painful blood draws but I have always been grateful she does not hold my cooperation with those "enemy blood suckers" against me. As I watched the blood being drawn from my arm, I couldn't help but wonder how this new experience with cancer would affect her.
With the brain damage from her cancer, it's hard to know how Lindsay will react to anything. She's a very special kid with a heart as big as the ocean and she functions pretty darn well but emotionally she relies on me immensely . The last thing I wanted was my illness to throw her a curve ball and there were so many ways it could. From flashbacks to fears for the future, and who knows what in between there were lots of places most anyone could get stuck, let alone Lindsay. I did not want her to be a victim of cancer again because of me.
Neither Dave nor I had even thought of how to tell her or how she might take such new. Now I found myself wishing there had been time to do such planning but I was definitely on a fast track that allowed no times for such things. I sure hoped my daughter wasn't going to pay because of our lack of planning time. She's had a tough enough go at life as it is.
Between Lindsay and the horses my mind flooded as the lab techs left the room. I was trying to sort out this new predicament in my life and what I might do to lessen the impact on each when the mystery nurse walked into the room.
To be continued........................
The Mystery Nurse........
The cute little guy in this picture is Andy, Scandalous Addiction, and he's grown up to be quite an impressive boy. I got to spend a little time with him today and he is really working hard to steal my heart.
As for the questions on yesterday's post, I will be posting more information about them and I really want to thank Laura for answering my questions. I do still have more questions and I'm sure you all must have questions of your own. Where did I come up with those terms? and what do they have to do with me? The answers will come along with this story so stay tuned.....
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