Friday, April 8, 2011

TMJ.................. What's Next?.........

Part One

As I worked on getting my show clothes put away and my other show items in order, I remembered I hadn't taken care of the open check I left with the show secretary. I quit what I was doing and headed to the show office to get my account close out before I forgot.

When the show secretary opened up my folder there was nothing inside but my check stabled to the folder. My mind lurched at the realization I had forgotten to bring her my copies of my horse's registration papers and my AHA and USEF membership cards.

Just as my minded computed the issue, the show secretary did the same. I could see the realization cross her face just as it had mine. I nodded in recognition saying I'd be right back with the copies of my paperwork. Then I rushed to my stalls to get them.

The show secretary was still standing at the counter when I returned. She reached out for my paperwork smiling and nodding. I wondered how I'd been given a number when my paperwork wasn't complete but I figured I knew the answer. She knew she could count on me to make it right because my entries are always correct and complete.

Then I heard myself saying as the questions formed in my mind, "How is GD showing with that lease?" And there it was, the question that my friend and I had been asking each other for months was out there on the counter in the show office. I hadn't meant to ask it and I couldn't take it back. It was obviously hanging in the air for the show secretary to answer.

She looked at me shaking her head and saying, "I know it's probably a fake but what can I do?" Then she showed me the document, or what she thought was the document anyway. I looked down in surprise at one piece of paper made up of mostly signatures and I asked, "Where's the rest of it?"

As she looked back at me, I saw the realization washing over her face, this paperwork wasn't complete. That hadn't occurred to her. She told me she had talked to the USEF show steward about the paperwork. That woman had responded she'd received the very same document for the Region 5 show and the other show for which she is the secretary. Both women thought the document was bogus but neither believed they could do anything about it.

I left the show office in disbelief. I couldn't believe the show officials didn't know what to do with a document they saw as less than it should be. I know from my many years working horse shows many times such documents get questioned and exhibitors are told they need something more complete. As this late date, I figured they would let it slide as they had but maybe next year they'd handle it differently. After all the horse show was over except for a few classes. GD was done showing so what was the point. I headed back to my stalls to get loaded up and go home.

As I worked on my stuff, I just kept thinking about the incident in the show office. I couldn't believe MD had manipulated the situation by turning in only part of the paperwork on the lease. I'd helped her with her paperwork before for horse shows. She clearly knew she was supposed to include the whole document but it appeared she'd deliberately left off the part that showed MD and GD were no longer entitled to show that horse because the document was outdated. I wondered whose bright idea that had been? Were the ethics of BG and WF rubbing off on MD and GD? And what were MD and GD doing manipulating the rules anyway? I was very disappointed to learn they were doing such a thing.

After I left the show office I called the friend who had leased MD and BG her mare upon my recommendation. I told her how I had blurted out her question to the show secretary. Then I told her what I saw and what I knew.The only good I could see coming out of this situation was at least my friend would know why they were getting away with showing the mare with an outdated document.

All along she and I had thought the show secretaries hadn't even noticed there was a problem with the paperwork being outdated. We thought the show secretaries hadn't read the document. In reality, each knew there was something wrong but thought they had no power to do anything. The one person who should have known what to do, the USEF steward, had no idea either.

I don't know exactly why I went back to the arena, but I did. I felt even more alone now than I had before discovering MD was manipulating her paperwork to show that mare. Knowing it was MD and BD taking advantage of my friend was really upsetting to me. Maybe I was drawn to the possibilities I'd run into one of my friends back at the arena and I could hide from this new realization for a bit.

I walked all the way to the arena and down the same walkway I had previously seen MD but saw no one I knew. I proceeded down to the ingate and talked to the people there for a class or two trying to clear my mind and focus on something positive. Then I headed back the way I had come with this hole still burning away at my belly.

It was on this second trip down the aisle way that I passed an old friend I hadn't seen in a long while. When she saw me she greeted me in that warm kind of greeting reserved for old friends and my heart settled just a bit. My friend asked how things were going and instead of the earlier "Good" response, for some odd reason I blurted out all the crap I'd been hit with during this last week. Solidare's passing, court, MD and GD. By the time our conversation was done this friend gave me a hug and the number of an equine attorney who had settled a case for her.

The following day my friend leasing the mare contacted the show secretary and asked to be sent a copy of the document in question so she could see what they were using. During that phone call my friend learned the show secretary had called MD into the office and asked her to provide the rest of the document. MD did not have the document with her but promised to email it to the show secretary. The show secretary promised the horse owner she would send her a copy of that document for validation.

It was several days before my friend received a copy of the lease document provided by MD. My friend notified the show secretary MD had provided her with a forged document. This was not a copy of the original lease and certainly not the document my friend had signed. It was a modification of the original document adding some items that would make it look like the lease was still in effect and it also named GD in the lease, even though a later clause said no person involved in this lease is a minor. (Washington law does not allow for such documents with minors)

The show secretary was pretty upset the document wasn't legal and so was my friend. My friend filed charges against MD and GD with USEF where the situation was under investigation last time I heard.

Not long after it came to light MD and GD were blaming me for them being in trouble at the horse show. MD told Dave they knew I had gotten GD in trouble because I didn't stay to watch GD's last class. However, I didn't watch the last class because I didn't know she had another class. Not to mention I am not the cause of their problems in the show office. The show secretary already had them on her radar suspecting the document was not what it should be. They are the ones that provided an incomplete document followed by a forged one to the show secretary. If they hadn't done that, there would have been no problem in the show office.

I must admit this whole thing makes me wonder what MD and GD were thinking. The show was over. GD didn't do anything particularly spectacular there. They had nothing to lose by providing the old lease. They just would have been told they needed to fix it and probably wouldn't have been allowed to show again until they did. But there was no problem with that. All my friend wanted was a new document. One that would protect her legally if something happened while MD and GD were in possession of the mare. Instead they forged documents.

It never crossed my mind a child of mine would ever do anything like that. For the first time I was confronted with the values MD and GD have decided they want to embrace. Considering this behavior I guess I shouldn't have been surprised that they blamed me for it instead of taking responsibility for what they had done. I felt like I was kicked in the gut once again.

To be continued.................

Talking to Another Attorney.....

This picture is Dare with her 2009 colt, Doc. He is by AQHA stallion The Might Oak who happens to be a reining horse making Doc my future reining prospect......if he lives that long. The little bugger bit me today so he's in a little deep stuff at the moment.

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  1. I'd love to see a current picture of Doc, given my first love for QH. Dare is beautiful!! Is the stallion a bay, too?

  2. I wondered whatever happened about that lease with your friend and MD when you mentioned it earlier.
    I can't even imagine knowing a child would do something like that. As you said to embrace those kings of values, to show her children there is nothing wrong with forgery, when you would never EVER condone such things. I can't even imagine what kind of trouble those kind of values could get all of them in the future.
    The heartache you must have felt on top of all the other things going on, I'm so glad you managed to get through it. I know many people would have given up with even just one of the problems let alone all of them. I continue to be very impressed with how you have dealt with things. Great post again!

  3. I love the photo. He looks like quite a character, and sounds like one too.

  4. Fake copies?!?! What a load of crap.

  5. It always upsets me when people who know they have done something wrong or are trying to manipulate the system blame someone else for their troubles. It's unfortunate that MD and GD haven't taken the responsibility to do this thing correctly. I'm sorry you have to feel this shame...I'm glad you know it isn't really yours.

  6. Oh Mikael. theres no words. What they did was illegal and immoral - I would be beyond momma badger angry; and would think - what else are they capable of then?

    I would cut them off. Literally. Until resolution was accomplished and in sincerity by them. And unfortunately they would never have my trust again. Nor anyone else who heard of this. So wrong.

    So not cool.

  7. Adorable but I guess a little bit of monster too. Hope he didn't bite you too hard.

    Don't know what to say about these developments. I know I would be disappointed in the way things were turning out with MD and GD. Hopefully, they'll come to their senses soon and stop blaming others for their problems and look inside themselves for the true answers to who is to blame for the way things are happening.

  8. Hmm, It didn't help that the show people didn't know what to do about it but still. SO sad that MD and GD chose to take such a dishonest path

  9. Tammy, I have nothing current but hope to have something son. His sire is actually a gray horse.

    Nicole, well, now you know what happened with it. I just can't even imagine teaching a child such values and as I said before, what was the point. All she had to do was take the time to get the paperwork fixed with the owner. There was never any need to forge paperwork.

    Doc is definitely a character.

    Dom, you got that right.

    wilsonc, blaming others seems to be part of the package with people who are manipulative.

    You are right, I do know this is not my fault but I still feel badly about it. I just cannot imagine what kind of life they are making for themselves when they chose to function like this. It's very sad.

    feralwoman, you have a point. I do find myself wondering "what else" and I doubt there can be any healing unless they are willing to take responsibility for their actions. History tells me that will most likely not happen.

    Arlene, I would hope that would be the case but it's probably not likely. My guess is that instead I will be blamed for "being deceptive" or something along those lines. Nothing I have seen suggests any kind of remorse... just lots of manipulation to make it my fault.

    fern, you're right, but even if they had figured it out themselves, I doubt anyting would have changed. I agree it is sad that MD and GD have involved themselves in such a mess. It's even sadder that them seem to be able to justify such behavior.

  10. ALl your horses are such beauties..I love ARABIANS!
    I'm so sorry for the continuing realities of poor choices Yourn are making.
    Nothing what-so-ever having to do with you and what you stand for. It stilol hurts deep down, I know, and I am truly sorry for that.

    I am happy the events occured and others are on it towards demanding honest/legal ADULT dealings!!

    The Raspberry leaves are dried..Never tried to give fresh ones before. Mare magig is the brand that is commonly in the satores. My sissy gets a bulk organic brand that is actually cheaper. I'll get the name for you.

  11. What's terrible is that this kind of manipulation doesn't seem too uncommon in the show world. Registration papers, health papers, amateur status (and I know people who have forged all of these). There never seem to be any consequences and when this stuff becomes commonplace, people hesitate less to join in...everybody does it so it's ok??? Then people ask themselves how they are supposed to compete with that? It's heartbreaking when you see friends involved, I can't imagine family.

  12. Sadly, I'm not surprised to hear this. It's been pretty evident that your MD and by example, your GD have had no problem crossing lines. It's so sad and disheartening when it's your own family. I have a brother this way, although he is not as malicious as MD seems to be. Considering what you found out, perhaps the distance that MD erected had more to do with protecting herself (knowing you would never stand for such deception). That's a particular trait I noticed my niece employing...she distanced herself and deflected any responsibility for her behavior by telling everyone I was just an impossible b**ch to deal with. Only partly true on that account-LOL. I am only an impossible b**ch to deal with then the people I am dealing with are not doing what they are supposed to be doing.

  13. allhorsestuff, you're right it does still hurt even though I'm not responsible for it. I feel badly for the people who got involved because of me and then didn't get treated very well.

    Good to know about the raspberry leaves although I'm not currently riding any mares. I have several that need to be started.

    Story, I guess I've heard of all of the things you mention as well. Then add in drugging horses and there's a lot of cheating going on.

    It's sad that people can be dissuaded from showing because of all of that. My only answer is the good guys can't win if they don't try and I've definitely seen the good guys win over the years so I guess that helps keep me going.

    On a personal note, I might add there is an amateur reiner here training her own horse and she has kicked everyones b*tts the last couple of years. More proof the good guys can do it.

    BECG, what you describe is very much evident here too. Very frustrating.

    I know you've mentioned before that you have issues with some family members. Thanks for mentioning it again. Makes me feel not quite so weird or alone maybe.

  14. Oh gosh MiKael...You are certainly not alone or weird for having family issues. I think we all have at least one family member that makes us wonder, what the heck happened-LOL.

    I've had major ups and downs with all of my family members. I love them, but have a hard time relaxing my principles. Meg and I still have some drama, but nothing like it was before. I think she is starting to mature a little and realizes that just because she is going to be an 'adult' soon...there's a lot she still has to work on.

    I know she was relieved when we had a discussion about college. They are preaching to these kids that college is an automatic progression after HS. Meg doesn't like school and neither my husband or I are willing to PAY for something she isn't that interested in excelling at. No, I think Meg is off to the work force after school for at least a year. That will give her time to mature some more and figure out what she might want to do. Then, if she wants to go to college, we will make that happen. I have noticed a big change in her attitude since that discussion. She sees a light at the end of the tunnel of this hell everyone else calls, school. ;-)