Saturday, October 17, 2009

Are You a Horse-aholic?

I found an old email of this while tiding up some of my messes before leaving for the US Nationals. I'd printed it out to "save" for the future knowing if I saved it in my inbox it would get lost in the Netherworld there. Since I'm on the road today in my first leg of my trip to Tulsa, I thought this might just be a suitable post. Enjoy..........

I am a horse-aholic. I would like to welcome all of you to this month's online meeting of Horse-Aholics Anonymous. You may be sitting there thinking that you are OK, and don't really need help. It is not easy to realize that you are a horse-aholic, and even harder to bring yourself to a HA meeting for help. HA is here to assist you. I have some questions to ask to try to determine if you can be helped:

1. Can you say "sheath" in public without blushing?
2. Do you know exactly what "snaffle" means? (No, it is not a drink!)
3. Do you drive a truck with some type of towing package and/or a dual rear wheel when everyone else you know drives a real car?
4. Do you have more than one type of trailer because you own horses?
5. Do you spend your holidays going to shows, sales, clinics and seminars when everyone else you know is going on cruises?
6. Do you discuss things at the dinner table that would make a doctor leave in disgust?
7. Do you consider formal wear clean jeans and freshly scraped boots?
8. Does the inside of your home look like your interior designer is State Line Tack?
9. Do you often have barn boots on your front porch?
10. Is your mail made up primarily of breed magazine and horse catalogs?
11. Do your shirt pockets often contain bits of feed, hay, and empty syringe covers?
12. Do you worry about paying your monthly feed bill before you think of paying your electric bill?
13. When you meet a person, do you ask how many horses the have, and pity them if they say none?
14. Do you remember the name of a great-great-great grandsire when you can't remember your own great grandfather's name?
15. Is your primary goal in life to breed the perfect foal?
16. Do you find non-horse people boring?
17. Is 99% of your email about horses?
18. Do you have a collection of bits even larger than your collection of horses?
19. Does your halter collection include more than four foal halters, all of the same size?
20. Do you know more than five people this list fits exactly?

If you answered YES to three of these questions, you are in pretty good shape. You will lead a pretty dull life and never call our mother to tell her, "I'm in the hospital but everything is fine! The horse is all right."

If you answered YES to ten, you are in serious trouble. Give in gracefully, and become a member of Horse-aholics Anonymous will eventually anyway.

If you answered YES to fifteen or more, you are incurable....... My advice to those who, like me, are incurable is as follows...........
Sit back, smile, read your email, and know that your life will always be filled with good friends and better horses............. and it will NEVER be boring.


  1. Truthfully, I'd have to say 'yes' to almost all of these. Guess there's no help for some of us!

  2. Yeah. I'd say this fits! Safe travels and good luck at your show.

  3. someone said Divorce the other day and I thought they said "the Horse". have a Barbaro tag on my car. have 3 walls in my bedroom with pictures of famous thoroughbreds past and present.