Thinking back it seems interesting, in an odd sort of way, that these women all appeared on the scene at about the same time. Kelly Panowicz definitely aided the cause of Crystal Baker but Crystal had been circling her wagons already. Bringing her client to see horses totally unsuited to this person's needs was proof she was up to something but her assessment of things here, after Panowicz's claims, gave her another way in, and in turn aided the cause of the third.
Of course the harm caused by each individually was not nearly as devastating as the effect of this blitz. While the combined effort was more difficult for me and my family, it actually made things easier for each of them. Just as my illness had been an important aid to further their seperate agendas, their simultaneous assaults acted more like one battering ram, weakening my defenses and intensifying my vulnerabilities.
Like blood in the water drawing in the sharks, the victim gets weaker from bleeding. The more harm that is done, the weaker the victim gets, the easier it is to do harm. These women may not have intended to be working together but the result of their combined efforts only helped to guarantee my continued inability to defend myself, or even see the danger, let alone recover enough to pursue whatever means available to stop the carnage.
At the time I felt so off balance all I wanted to do was hide. Kelly's attack left me thinking my horses needed help but Crystal's made me think I should be afraid to ask for it because others were waiting for the opportunity to feed on my carcass. The combined effort had me believing isolation was the best course of action. Yet isolation is one of the necessary components to any scam.
That set me up for the next snake to slither in. Like Crystal some of her groundwork was already laid so when Kelly and Crystal had already done their harm, she could walk in here pretending to be a trustworthy friend, when in fact she had her own kind of feeding to do.
Being sick, off balance and still worried about my horses, it is amazing that my wounds healed at all. When they eventually did, I was finally discharged from home healthcare and the date was set for my reattachment surgery.
When I saw the wound nurse on his last visit he disclosed something startling. He said the first time he saw me he "was extremely frightened for you." My condition was so dire he really thought I had little chance of survival.
His words were a reality check for me. I had never felt "that ill." Even when in the critical care unit I had not felt in danger of dying despite white lights and all. My release from home healthcare did not mean I was healed. It only meant I was well enough to be recovering at home without supervision. If I wanted to assure my horses' safety, I needed to assure mine.
My intentions were good but I had no idea that the vultures were already circling. The things that had motivated me to protect myself were what opened the door for them to continue the abuse that has occurred here. I was trying to survive with my dream intact while these women and others still saw this as an opportunity to further their own agenda whether or not it was good for me, my family or my horses.
To be continued.....
Trying to Survive....