Saturday, September 24, 2011

The Journey of 2011.................... A Confirmation........

Part 1

Once the meds had kicked in, the doctor sent me off for a CT scan. Even with drugs on board, I was still uncomfortable but at least it was within tolerable range. I can't imagine what it would have been like to have that test done without some help for the pain.

Moving on and off the gurney was the worst but laying flat on the platform for the CT scan was uncomfortable too. I had trouble staying still enough for them to get their images but, thank goodness, they were able to get them without having to do the test over again. I don't think I could have laid there much longer.

Once I was back onto the gurney, someone offered me a warm blanket while someone else worked at elevating my head on the gurney. It was nice to have them trying so hard to make me comfortable but I could read the level of concern on their faces. I didn't need a doctor to tell me the results of my test were not good.

Back in the room, I told Dave what I expected to hear from the doctor. I don't know for sure if he tried to discount what I said to make me feel better or him but the fact was when the doctor came back, my assertion was correct.

The CT scan did find a blockage in my colon although, because it had not been done with color contrast, the exact extent of the blockage was still unknown. The ER doc had already called a surgeon and I was to be admitted to the hospital just as soon as there was a bed available.

In the meantime, I couldn't have anything to eat or drink, no ice chips either, because my surgery was already scheduled for noon of that day. My nurse did was she could to keep me comfortable. The lights were turned down low and she brought me more warm blankets as I lay there waiting for the move.

By this time it was getting near daylight. I tried to get Dave to go home so he could help Lindsay take care of the horses and the dogs but he was having none of it. He said he would stay at least until they had me settled in my room in the hospital.

We both sat quietly in the semi dark room. I don't know if Dave was napping or thinking but his eyes were closed and he was slouched in his chair. Me, I was thinking. My mind was in over drive about my horses. There were so many scenarios running through my mind I hardly knew which one to concentrate on.

I have a life insurance policy that I got specifically to provide funds for the care of the horses until they could all be sold should I die. That policy did not cover me if I was disabled or dealing with a catastrophic illness. To be honest, I'd never even thought of those possibilities but now they loomed in the forefront of my mind.

The whole time I laid there waiting to be moved to my hospital room, I worried about the welfare of my horses and the huge responsibility that had just befallen Dave and Lindsay. It was one thing for them to be helping me with the horses, an entirely different thing for them to be solely responsible for them.

The "What If's" swirled through my mind and I thought about all the things I intended to do that hadn't been done yet. I also thought about plans I had made in the past that were no longer feasible. The current economy has changed so many things for so many of my friends, it has changed who is in a position to help in the event of something catastrophic happening and who cannot.

From the time Dave first lost his job, I have been looking for homes, in the event it should ever come to that, and I have seen those prospective homes disappear as more and more people lost their jobs, their farms and their own horses.

As the economy has worsened, I was grateful that it looked like I could hang on to get to the other side of this thing. Now, "Life" had squarely whacked me upside the head to let me know the economy was not the only thing I should have been worrying about. All my careful planning and preparations suddenly looked pretty inefficient.

To be continued....................

The Protocol.....

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  1. I worry about my horses, too. Should anything happen to me, they are in deep trouble...However, I have asked my cousin (who lives nearby) to find homes for them. She has 4 horses of her own and has owned horses most of her adult life. I trust her to make a rational decision.

  2. It is a mark of who you are and what kind of care your horses recieve when you are lying in a hospital bed in debilitating pain, and your first concern is for them not you . Sounds like they were doing thier best to help you through the waiting . with the warm blankets etc.

  3. When I went in for my ankle surgery I wrote a letter out defining my estate and instructions for my animals. I never gave it to anyone though. I just put it somewhere that I knew it would be found if something did happen.

    It's hard getting by on a day to day basis, normally. I can't imagine what you're going through. And you certainly don't need more to worry about.

  4. Scary, but I guess its good they were scheduling sergury for you to get tid of the blockage.

    It is very worrisome to not know what is going on and who is gonna take care of your horses. I been thinking on this a lot and am working out a plan in case something should happen to me.

  5. I guess we never know from one day to the next what will happen. It's always good to have a plan for the animals should anything happen to us unexpectedly.

    Glad that they scheduled the surgery so quickly for you.

  6. I think what happened to you has hit home with a lot of your blog readers. You never know what the future will bring, and being prepared for the sake of family and the creatures in our care is as much a responsibility as the daily care and chores.