Friday, February 25, 2011

The New Journey.......... One More Try and Some Information....

Part One

After the unsuccessful attempt to pick the horse up and after receiving the letter from their lawyer, I tried speaking to MD again about her involvement with BG. I did not tell her I suspected her of telling them our plans but I did suggest that she might be crossing a line and maybe she should carefully consider what she was doing.

I don't recall if this conversation was before or after I initiated the lawsuit but it was in close proximity to that event because I remember asking MD if she had known that they'd gone to an attorney. Her response to my query had been, "Yes." Then I'd asked her if she thought that might have been something she might have shared with me to which I got no response.

I didn't tell her about my specific plans at that point but I had told her in the past that I would do what I had to do to get the horse back even if it meant I had to go to court. She knows me well enough to know I am not one to make idle threats nor promises. I will follow through when I say I am going to do something.

I do know that during this call I had expressed my concerns about the fact she was paying them board and training that was essentially assisting them financially in funding the cost of their attorney. If she did in fact believe as she said that BG had not worked horses all those times he said he did and that other things on that accounting sheet were inappropriate, it seemed to me she would not want him to be successful obtaining a horse he really hadn't paid for since I am in fact family to her. I let her know as far as I was concerned assisting him financially was one more thing showing she was taking sides. I wanted to be sure she understood that.

It was clear from the dead silence on the other end of the phone at that time that it didn't matter to her what I said or how I felt but it mattered to me. Once I had told her how I felt about her actions, if she continued to do them despite my feelings, it said tons to me.

Our conversation proceeded on with her once again inserting she was not taking sides. I suggested the only people who really believed that at this point were those people in her barn and those supporting BG and WF. I asked her what she thought her siblings opinions about her behavior would be and boy did that open a can of worms.

She responded by yelling "How would I know, no one ever calls me!" and I just couldn't take it anymore. I cut off her manipulative excuse knowing she is the one that does not call or return calls to them just as she does to me most times "Don't give me that, you are the one who does not make contact." I tried to say.

She cut me off somewhere in the middle of my statement snarling "I'll talk to you tomorrow!" and hung up on me. To date she has not called nor made any initial contact with me or anyone who lives in this house. I have made no attempt to call her since that time either although I have spoken to her on occasion but more to come about that later.

So now I believe we are at the point in the story where we are just waiting on paperwork to be served on BG and WF. With a court hearing set for June 24, the court gave the sheriff until June 17 to have the proper paperwork served. Then the documents needed to be provided to us showing proof of service. We in turn needed to supply a copy of the sheriff's document of proof of service to the court for the hearing to take place.

We waited and we wondered not knowing if the sheriff would contact us to let us know the paperwork had been served or if we needed to track that information down ourselves. When we didn't hear anything for over a week, Dave called the sheriff's office to find out what was going on. Then he learned we needed more cash to cover the cost of delivery.

Dave went to the sheriff's office to pick up the documents and to pay the balance owed because of the additional miles incurred because of WF's avoidance. Then he filed a duplicate of that paperwork with the court clerk as required.

According to the document at 11:45 AM on June 8, 2010, BG was served by the sheriff. That was the very next morning after I'd filed the lawsuit. WF avoided the sheriff on multiple occasions. She did not return his phone calls nor call him as requested.

Fortunately the law provides for such evasions. The fact that BG was served at the family home and same residence as WF that evasion bought them nothing. It cost us a little extra money because of the extra attempts at service but reaffirmed what we knew about them so was worth it in the end. Why run if you have nothing to hide?

I figured what would come next was BG and WF would probably counter sue thinking we would be intimidated by their lawyer. I already suspected she had no experience in equine law just by her use of words in the letter she'd sent but they would be impressed with their move.

Me, I figured that probably levelled out the playing field. While she might have a better understanding of law, I had a better understanding about horses and the case and how those parts fit together. Then there was the fact I had the truth on my side as well. All she had to go one was what she was being told and it was obvious from that letter she hadn't been told much.

Wasn't she going to be surprised when she found out what this case was really about? It was not the black and white thing she thought it was.

To be continued.................

The Counterclaim

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  1. I'm so sorry. My mom and I don't have a great relationship and it's hard. I do have a tremendous amount of respect for her and love her, even as she drives me insane. I have to admit to hanging up on her once or twice, but I've always tried to make amends within a reasonable time frame.

    I also have to say I'm impressed with your actions and with your ability to tell the story. It's been a long, complex thing but you have a knack for telling it in a way that makes it easy to follow. It's so compelling I watch the clock and start refreshing your blog around 5pm-ish.

  2. sounds like you have the upper hand. Nice for a change.
    Too bad about MD though, but sounds like she doesnt talk to any family members except her daughter, thats too bad for her.

  3. I agree with Laura, this has become a daily ritual. I hate to read about your daughter and you, though, because I can't help but think how I'd feel if it were my daughter and me, and it would break my heart. I'm glad you didn't have to serve the papers twice--that didn't seem fair that they could be evaded like that.

    Hope you're surviving the cold. We're keeping it together over here. It was actually a beautiful day with the sunshine.

  4. laura, I'm sorry that there are problems between you and your mom. I know it's hard. But good for you for taking responsibility when you hang up.

    My daughter has never tried to make amends and has never said she was sorry about anything she has done to hurt my feelings or those of anyone in the family that I am aware of. Makes patching things up pretty tough that way.

    I'm glad that the story has been easy for you to follow. I have worried about that because of the complexities. I have been trying to post at around 5:30 each day, give or take a few depending on editing etc. I write them ahead of time in notebook and then reread, edit, copy and paste to blogger and reread and edit again, hoping I don't miss any dangling participles or misspelled words and that the story flows as best as it can. Maybe knowing my timeline will save you some refreshes. LOL

    Crystal, I always felt speaking the truth gave me the upper hand. There was a lot of up and down stuff along the way but it was knowing I had the truth behind me that got me through those spots and kept my hope alive. You'll see soon what I mean by that, I think.

    As MD, you are right. It is her loss even if she doesn't realize it.

  5. Linda, it has been a heart breaking experience. As for the papers it took me a while to find the information to support I didn't have to get that second set served. For while, I really stressed over it.

    I think we had sunshine here as well but we had so much ice it wasn't safe to do much outside with the horses which really sucks.

  6. :) I hope someday Delilah gets to play in the snow off leash. Storm was actually out in the horse pasture which is fences so there was no danger from traffic. She just has to watch out for Chrome lol. :D Too bad we only get snow about once a year hehe.

  7. I find the details and complexities of your case very informational. Hopefully it will help someone caught in a similar predicament. Of course it would be ideal if no one ever had to endure this but unfortunately human nature being what it is, these situations will continue to happen. A united family front sure would have been nice for you. Looking forward to your next installment. Hope writing all this is helping you to purge it from your psyche.

  8. achieve1dream, I hope so too but the stinker crawls through the rails on the pasture gates so we can't even trust her there. We keep working on getting a solid "come" from her outside and one day we'll get there. We don't get snow often either but have put her on a lunge line to give her more space to play in the white stuff and she loves it.

    Ms Martyr, I'm hoping you're right. The process is so daunting it would be nice if something made it easier. If this does, that would be good. I certainly would have loved to have a united family front but it was not meant to be, I guess. I do think processing the iformation for posting is helping to wrap things up for me. It's been a difficult experience but worth it, I think.

  9. I don't understand what WF thought she was accomplishing by hiding from the sheriff. She's got to go to court regardless. Glad they got served and have to go to court.I'm sure it won't be easy being your own lawyer but you do have the facts and truth on your side.

    I'm sorry about your daughter and your relationship. It's heartbreaking when a child doesn't remember or appreciate all that's been done for them and they take a side against their parent. Hopefully, she'll come around and see she needs her mom.