Sunday, September 19, 2010

Wrapping Up a Difficult Summer



I'd like to thank everyone for their supportive comments on Final Words on Solidare and DSLD With the stressful summer I've had, it had become easy to doubt myself and to feel pretty alone. Having the support of my blogging friends has helped get me through when sometimes all I really wanted to do was pull the covers up over my head and forget the world. I couldn't have gotten through this rough time without you.

I've found when times get tough the ugly things that are said seem to hit home even though they are passing comments, made by unknowing and sometimes mean spirited people, that should have been discarded as the useless comments they were. Yet, I was painfully aware of criticisms particularly made about my choices with this mare even though all I ever wanted was what was best for her.

I would never have knowingly done anything to harm Solidare and my decision to breed her that one last time was never about me. Still with the outcome of this summer being her passing, it was easy to fall into the trap "it was my fault" even though the mare's pregnancy had little if any effect on what happened. What it did do was assure Solidare's last days were doing what she loved most............being a mother. As much as I regret her demise I will never regret those last days she was able to dote on her foal.

It was hard to watch Solidare decline but at the same time it was joyous to watch the twinkle in her eye and the strength in her heart as she tended to her colt. I always knew Solidare had amazing heart but the true depth of it was revealed in those last months. The awareness that Solidare was never going to quit on life made her all the more endearing to me, as it made her passing all the more difficult.

I really hadn't intended for this post to go off onto my heartbreak about Solidare again. Instead I wanted to say to all those who have supported me through all the darkness of these past months, there finally is an end to the tunnel. While there is still healing to be done, the trials of the summer are over.

To be continued...........

A Big Drain

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9 comments:

  1. horses... you gotta love 'em or they'll break your heart... they are such an amazing blessing and really are part of our "journey"

    gp

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  2. I am firewalled out of a lot of blogs at work but have found a way to at least read them but can't get to comments. When you posted about Solidaire, I'm not sure if I commented then or just wished I could. I wanted to express my sympathy and tell you what a heartfelt post that was and thank you for sharing your joy and pain when it wasn't easy. I enjoy following the updates on the foal. Post anytime about your good mare. She is in your heart.

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  3. Autumn is a new season and a new beginning. Solidare was a classy mare and will never be forgotten. If you were hurt or had doubts about your decisions because of unfounded comments or mean spirited people know that your blogging friends do support you and care about you. Put it all behind you and start this new season with a renewed sense of purpose and the joy of seeing Solidare's colt grow and flourish under your guidance and care.

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  4. I feel you. . . . You were a worthy owner to Solidare, I'm sure I would have made the same decision as you regarding allowing her to foal one last time. Only a true mother's heart can understand the depth of desire and love she has for her young'uns. It's that same sensitivity that allows the jerks to get under your skin. I'm sorry for that. You did the right thing, imo!!
    Blessings and hugs!! So much appreciate all you have shared!

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  5. Onward and upward MiKael! Things ARE going to be better on your end.

    Thinking of you all often on this end, knowing we'll hear excellent news soon! ;)

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  6. Glad thins are on the upswing. You have managed all of your trials with grace and dignity. Best wishes for good times ahead

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  7. I still believe you did the right thing with Solidare. And us blogger friends are here for you anytime you need us. We support you no matter what some meanies want to say, unfortunatly they are always out there.

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  8. I hear ya, I don't know why a person lets remarks that you know are unfounded and wrong get under their skins. I guess it's because we are all doing the best we can do for the horses we own and these are difficult times. The market, the economy, the totally weird societal 'ideals', that NO ONE could ever live up to...

    You just have to know in your heart you are doing the best you can and hope like heck, things work out in the end. Let's all hope next year is a 'better' year for everyone.

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