Wrapping Up a Difficult Summer

I'd like to thank everyone for their supportive comments on Final Words on Solidare and DSLD With the stressful summer I've had, it had become easy to doubt myself and to feel pretty alone. Having the support of my blogging friends has helped get me through when sometimes all I really wanted to do was pull the covers up over my head and forget the world. I couldn't have gotten through this rough time without you.

I've found when times get tough the ugly things that are said seem to hit home even though they are passing comments, made by unknowing and sometimes mean spirited people, that should have been discarded as the useless comments they were. Yet, I was painfully aware of criticisms particularly made about my choices with this mare even though all I ever wanted was what was best for her.

I would never have knowingly done anything to harm Solidare and my decision to breed her that one last time was never about me. Still with the outcome of this summer being her passing, it was easy to fall into the trap "it was my fault" even though the mare's pregnancy had little if any effect on what happened. What it did do was assure Solidare's last days were doing what she loved most............being a mother. As much as I regret her demise I will never regret those last days she was able to dote on her foal.

It was hard to watch Solidare decline but at the same time it was joyous to watch the twinkle in her eye and the strength in her heart as she tended to her colt. I always knew Solidare had amazing heart but the true depth of it was revealed in those last months. The awareness that Solidare was never going to quit on life made her all the more endearing to me, as it made her passing all the more difficult.

I really hadn't intended for this post to go off onto my heartbreak about Solidare again. Instead I wanted to say to all those who have supported me through all the darkness of these past months, there finally is an end to the tunnel. While there is still healing to be done, the trials of the summer are over.

To be continued...........

A Big Drain

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