Saturday, July 10, 2010

A Little about My Current Stress

There's been a lot going on here lately. Even more than usual I am afraid now that we are involved in a lawsuit. The result has been the stress is killing me. Not literally, that I can tell, but it is making me sick.

I have not been posting about most of the sources of that stress and it will probably continue that way for a while. Since the lawsuit is now a matter of public record, I figured it was time to at least mention it's existence because it really is affecting everything I say and do.

Being involved in a lawsuit and not having an attorney because I can't afford one with my husband out of work has been taxing. I am spending a good portion of my time at the law library making sure I am well versed in what I need to know and do. While in the long run that time is worthwhile and will probably relieve stress, at the time it actually induces stress........and a lot of it.

I have a gastro intestinal system that does not like stress, some kinds more than others. When the real scary stuff gets to me I have problems eating and as you can imagine this lawsuit is one of the really scary things. Sometimes I don't know I'm going to have problems until it happens. Other times I know up front I need to be careful about what and when I eat.

Yesterday was a very stressful day around here. I spent a good portion of my day at the law library readying myself for the next phase in this legal battle. While the session was productive, the burden weighed heavily on my psyche and my body.

Once I've begun on a venture, I don't stop until I have a true handle on it. The information whirls around in my head and I keep adding pieces until things finally fall into place. Then and only then can I get any respite from the stress.

As you can imagine it's not always that easy to put the pieces together for this lawsuit. I understand the horse parts just fine, it is the legal aspect and melding the two that is difficult. It's not enough that I know what's right and wrong, I need to know what codes support my beliefs and I need to know how to present it to the court in a way the court will understand.

Sometimes it takes days before things have calmed down after I've opened up a new door in this journey. I think the farther I get into this process the better I get at managing things. I thought I was doing pretty well yesterday with all the new information and those flying pieces. Well, at least that's what I thought until last evening.

Within an hour of my meal, I got deathly ill. I was curled up in a ball on my bed wishing I could die to escape the pain. Medication would not relieve the symptoms I was experiencing and my entire intestinal track was my worst enemy. It was hours before I got any relief so there was no post for my blog.

I suspect this will not be my last episode like this. I see no easy resolution to this problem. I will no longer be a door mat for those thinking they can take advantage of me. I believe that truth will win out over lies and deceit. That means I am in this fight until the end.

I may have to see a doctor to find out how this is affecting my system and if I am doing any long term damage to myself as I go through this process. Hopefully there will be some answers to lessen the impact of my sessions at the law library and in court. I guess time will tell.

Visit Blog Village and vote daily for this blog Here They are now measuring the rankings by votes out, so if you find my blog on the site, please click that link too to improve my rankings. TY


  1. I'm so sorry to hear about all this stress in your life. I'm not American so I know very little of your legal system, but don't they give you a lawyer if you can't afford one?
    It sounds like the stress is affecting your digestion, and I can't offer any advice other than take some time to just sit by yourself a few minutes, out in nature, and breathe. All of this will pass, and you will move on from it, but try to take care of your health while you are in the midst of it.
    good luck sweetie,

  2. Hi - I'm sorry to read about this trouble for you. My you find some sort of comfort and success as this starts to play out --

    On stress, I did have some IBS episodes when I was getting married and my current job was applying a lot of pressure upon us. I've learned since that the only options that work for me personally is vigorous, explosive exericse (i.e. kickboxing and boxing has helped) vs. meditation. When you are faced with waiting and inaction, doing something, even if it is not related to the problem can help.


  3. Sorry to hear you have legal woes. I know from experience how much emotional energy goes into facing such a thing. Being in business in California has taught us a lot; none of it for free.
    It really burns to learn the basics: People Lie - Justice has nothing to do with right and wrong or fair play- Some Judges may pay careful attention, but most are just going to split the difference, at best.

    The best I can offer is to tell you you are not alone and to wish you speedy resolution so that you can get on with the rest of your life.

  4. My old job used to make me THAT sick. I suggest doing any and every thing you can to destress yourself. Every little bit counts. Some of the things that help me: Sip peppermint or ginger tea throughout the day. Burn candles with an aroma you find soothing. Use bath and body products with an aroma that you find soothing. For me, this is Spearmint Eucalyptus from Bath & Bodyworks. I have very eclectic taste in music, but when I'm stressing, I listen to things like Enya, Indigo Girls, Coldplay. Take melatonin to help you sleep.

    I hope you get it sorted out soon. Me 'n Sister A will say a prayer for you ;-)

  5. It really sucks that you are going through so much and having to deal with so much stress. I will be saying lots of prayers for you!

  6. Oh, I am so sorry to hear this. My body reacts the same way that yours does to stress. I have to be careful what I eat, also. I completely understand what you are going through...I've been there, too.

  7. Oh MiKael that's terrible. I hope this lawsuit can be resolved in your favor soon. You can't go on like this. Go see a doctor and make sure you're not working on an ulcer or something else. Good luck and feel better.

  8. Sorry your life had to be dragged off in this direction. I'm sure you'd rather be out riding your horses than sitting in a library learning law.

  9. I'm so sorry you are going through such bad luck and health. I sure hope Dave finds a job soon and your lawsuit settles quickly and favorably. I know the courts can drag these things out forever.
    Who is in the photo? Gorgeous!!!

  10. So sorry to hear about your troubles .I too and a "gut reactor " find stress can really make a mess of my guts All I can suggest is drinking a cup of hot water before each meal and first thing in the morning , don't know why it helps but it does,also probiotics.I have a few other tricks ,but each system is different and I am not a doctor so

  11. Certainly hope this mess can be over soon. Hugs and best wishes....

  12. Oh no, I am sorry for your stess from the legal woes! I will be praying all works out for you.

  13. I'm so sorry to read about your legal troubles. I hope it is all resolved quickly and fairly.

    Please do see a doctor about the physical problems. This truly isn't something to mess around with.

  14. I broke out with shingles during an especially stressful time in my life. My doctor prescribed an anti-depressant and it made a huge difference in my ability to cope.

  15. Oh, the GI tract that freaks out. I have one of those. They suck. I'm sorry about your lawsuit. Do you have a university in your area? They usually have legal aid offices that help for free. Or maybe you could contact one through email to ask for advice? Maybe they can do that kind of thing through email. I'm in Mass and I know UMASS used to help a lot of people without money through their Legal Aid Dept. I'm assuming they still do.
    Good Luck!

  16. I'm very sorry to hear this. I too know how incredibly stressful this can be. Several years ago, I went through a lawsuit and it was agonizing!!! Though I wasn't directly involved, someone I love dearly was greatly effected. It went on for a long time, with great ups and downs, but in the end, we came out on top! Keep your chin up and I truly hope that all goes well for you!

  17. I'm sorry to hear that things are so rough for you, and I was just wondering if you were familiar with celiac disease and gluten intolerance-

    I ask because I was always a-symptomatic until I got really stressed, and then I would get intensely sick after eating, much in the way you are describing.

    It's a hard disease to get diagnosed, because doctors don't know much about it- but feel free to email me if you want more information. You might want to try cutting out all wheat, rye, and barley and see if it helps.

    Good luck with all of this. I'm rooting for you.

  18. Oh how horrible! I'm so sorry. I hope it all works out in your favor.

    It can take years, though. Our lawsuit, when my husband was hit from behind, and then shoved into the path of an 18 wheeler, through no fault of his own, took over 3 years to be settled mainly because the other folks didn't want to take responsibility and kept trying to find loop holes to get out of paying for their mistake.

    Meanwhile, our medical bills kept piling up and we were losing our home and livelihood.

    It's the worst stress ever. I feel for you and I hope this legal business doesn't last too long.