Saturday, August 9, 2008

Rules of the Barn

1. I am human. You are horse. What I say goes. Please take that into consideration when you are standing on my foot.

2. Spilled grain is not "fair game", especially when it is spilled in another horse's stall. It still belongs to that particular horse. You have no reason to go in and eat it.

3. Poop does not need to be hidden. I clean your stall every day. I will Find it. Do not hide it.

4. I do not need your help when I clean the barn, nor do I need your supervision, or even your presence. I have been cleaning the barn and stalls ever since you lived here. I know what I am doing. Standing at the door staring at me, will not make me clean faster.

5. There is no need to go into the barn and help yourself to the feed. Meals Are given at specific times of the day -am and pm. There is a feed schedule. You know the schedule. I know you know the schedule. You know that I know that you know the schedule. There is no need to help yourself.

6. Water buckets are not toys. Neither is the gate, pitchfork, wheel barrow, whatever is in the wheel barrow, fence,
or the occasional dog.

7. The wheel barrow is there for a reason. Please do not try to move it while I am cleaning your stall.

8. Just because I go into the Barn doesn't mean you automatically get food. There is other stuff in the barn. Stuff you don't want. Like de wormer and fly spray , shots, medicine.

9. Sheath cleaning will NOT be anyone.

10. Water travels through the hose. If you are thirsty, do not stand on the hose. The water buckets will fill much faster.

11. Not everything has to be high drama. None of the following things will kill you: fly spray, plastic bags, balloons, hoses, chipmunks and other small rodents, or bright blue tarps.

12. Although I understand the need for you to go to the bathroom, it is not necessary to hold it in all day until the moment I finish cleaning you r stall and put away the wheel barrow.

13. Accidents happen. However, I'm not altogether sure you're not trying to kill yourself. Next time you decide to impale yourself on some sort of object, please try to do it when it's not hailing, midnight, the weekend, or Christmas.

14. While I appreciate your need to be clean, pooping in your water bucket does not make my job easier, and it deprives you of water. Please find a new spot.

15. Whinnying as loudly as you can in my face does not make me feed you any faster.

16. I have to wait patiently too while you are having your shoes tacked on. There is no need to bite me.


  1. those are great. I especially like number #15. Those high pitched whinnies can bust the old ear drums some days.

  2. This was hilarious. Almost all I related with. And not just for horses... goats too! lol. These are the ones I related to for the goats.. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 (they have knocked the wheelbarrow over, while it was full! little brats lol..) 8, 11, 12, 14 and 15.

  3. Lmfao. I love animals with spirit. I hope they forget the rules. Hehehehehee

  4. LOL!

    I tagged you for the "Six things I'm proud of meme," MiKael!

  5. LMFAO this cracked me up big time!! Especially number 9...hmm!

  6. Another nice post, made me smile this morning.

  7. All of this sounds like something you might tell a youngster and I would never have thought it could be a horse but come to think of it, it fits.

  8. LMAO! OMG! That is hilarious!

  9. Ha-ha.....I think I'm going to make a copy of those and give them to Grif!!

    He sometimes likes to poop in his feed bucket. He thinks all grain (or any grain-like substance) belongs to him regardless of where it is. No matter how many times I've tried to explain it to him -- he's STILL convinced that funny looking rocks, tarps, and animals that scurry are OUT TO KILL HIM. **sigh**

    Grif IS pretty good about his stall and not hiding poop -- but I've cleaned a few others at the barn that do enjoy the poop hiding game (Do you suppose they talk to each other when we're not around???? Discuss the best hiding spots perhaps....)

    Too, too funny!!!! Thanks, I needed a chuckle in my otherwise boring day today...

  10. ROTFL!!! #9 love it! Little cowgirl is just fascinated when I do that and watches very closely! He he, still laughing~loved them all!