Life - Arabian Horse Dreams - and a little bit of chaos
Normally I try to keep the posts on this blog about horses. Sometimes the other things in my life make that tough and today has been one of those days. I just cannot get myself focused enough to write another post of Dandy's story, do an update on the twins or even start a series on the great halter clinic I went to this weekend with Mike Neal. A fun or insightful post about horses is just not there.
Since Valentines Day I have been struggling with a personal issue that I've not mentioned here. I did post about it on my other blog,
Revisiting Valentine's Day - A New Cause not because it is about my past like most of that blog, but because it has been difficult emotionally. I guess since that blog is a "psyche blog" I thought it fit there.
However, just like my youngest daughter, Lindsay, and her bout with brain cancer has affected my Arabian horse dreams, this latest incident with my newborn great-granddaughter put up for adoption without my grandson's consent is affecting them also. I find it hard to stay focused on the horses with such turmoil in my family.
The normal stresses of a herd the size of mine seem to be overwhelming when it's really not those stresses that have me off balance. There is no way I can drop the responsibility of 27 horses and tend to my family. And it's not like that is what I really want to do. But even being off balance affects the dream. It leaves me low on energy and struggling to accomplish things that keep this whole operation running.
My injury and illness this winter have already put things off track. Not getting horses into the ring under saddle this year means I'm less likely to sell any horses this year. I can't afford to get things slowed down anymore than they already are. Yet life didn't ask my permission before it threw this wrench in the works.
I guess I've decided to share it here because we all need to know what we will do or how we will get through those times in our lives when caring for the horses gets difficult or seems secondary. Yes, even a died in the wool Arabian horse fanatic like me can get distracted enough to not take care of business. It takes a lot to get me that rattled, but we all have our limits.
I'll try to be back on track with posting by tomorrow. But getting my business back on track's going to take longer than that.
Yes - I really understand this post. Sometimes I think the gift the chaos gives us is the opportunity to renew our vows, so to speak. To decide, AGAIN, and yet again, that who we are as horsewomen and men is an intregal part of who we are and won't be sacrificed for a chaotic change in our world. I'm sorry you're dealing with so much right now. Hopefully your beautiful Arabian horses will soothe and comfort you. You can only do so much, so be kind to yourself, even if you feel "off-track" in your normal routine and goals.
ReplyDeleteVirtual hugs on their way; considering what you have already went through and still managed to follow your dream I am sure you will find the way to deal with this too.
ReplyDeletexx
Mikael, I can't express adequately my sorrow that you are dealing with this new pain.
ReplyDeleteAll of us have issues that interfere with our daily lives, but for some reason you seem to have more.
Please know I am thinking of you during this difficult time.
MiKael, all I can say is hang in there. And know that the horses -even though they are a bit of a "drag" right now-- will be a help in the end, providing peace and calmness in an otherwise insane world there.
ReplyDeleteAnd know that we here in the Southland are keeping you and the family in our thoughts and prayers!
Take care of yourself - I hope things settle down and get calm very soon.
ReplyDelete((HUGS!!))
ReplyDeleteHi MiKael, I read your other blog, and I am sorry this is happening to your family. You are in my thoughts, and I hope things work out well for you all. It's too bad the legal system is so difficult to navigate, but your grandson sounds like a very determined guy with the right priorities. I hope it makes you proud that at least the people in YOUR family are displaying wonderful values and priorities in this matter. It's the other people who are causing the pain for everyone. Your family is in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteOooh, I am so sorry. I can only speak for myself and Wisconsin, but both parents have to sign off on adoptions here. State law also mandates that the birth parents wait 30 days to sign off rights.
ReplyDeleteI know. I gave my daughter up for adoption.
That really sucks MiKael and I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that you are going through a difficult time right now and I pray your horses give you some extra loving.
ReplyDeleteHave you thought about "hiring" a groom? I was a barn grunt for many years in exchange for lessons (no pay). I know your experience with having Rachel care for a couple horses hasn't been great, but I hope that didn't turn you off to all offers of help. There are people out there who would be grateful for the opportunity you'd give them.
You are a great teacher--just look at all the educating you do on this blog. I'd be offering to muck your stalls in exchange for all this learnin' if it wasn't for the fact I live in Minnesota!
I'm so sorry you are going through this. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDelete"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." (Proverbs 3:5-6)
After five kids (4 girls and 1 boy) and the oldest is now 52 I can probably say I understand how you feel at least I can sympathize with you. I won't go there as this is not where I want to go. LOL.
ReplyDeleteI will say, however, that I do like these two horses romping around. What a nice picture they make.
Thanks too for your continued visits to my blog.
MiKael - I'm sorry that things are so dark for you and your family right now. Hang in there. It will change. Just breathe with your horses and let them help you get through all of it.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about this newest twist to your life. Take care of yourself, and remember that although we all love your posts and look forward to them, if you don't have the time right now to write, put it off for a few days or a week and give yourself the gift of taking the pressure off. We will be here when you get back. Take the time you need to take care of yourself and your family.
ReplyDeleteMikael, I wanted to come and give you a hug =) **hug**.
ReplyDeleteI think 27 horses and you dedicate yourself to them and the breed itself, you've already accomplished so much.
Around here Mikael just know we love and support you and your dreams.
I send my best to you and your family.
Oh dear, I'm sorry to hear all of this, Mikael, hang in there and take care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteHi MiKael
ReplyDeleteAs you know I totally understand this post, you are one of the strongest people I know and I just know that you will work through this one too. I just wish I was closer to lend some moral support. You have been such a help to me with all of my problems, and are so wise and sensible, you will pull through this. (((((Huge Hugs))))
Keep us posted on the baby
Lori
oh Mikael, sorry to hear about the chaos in your life right now...sending you some strong, positive thoughts to give you strength.
ReplyDeleteI know you'll find comfort in your horses, I do and it helps keep me grounded.
Sorry to hear about all the chaos in your life right now. Sending you smile and hugs right now!
ReplyDelete