Last Friday..........

When I went to bed Thursday night I had no idea of the drama unfolding in Aurora, CO.  We had been caught off guard by an early appearance in a string of thunderstorms predicted to arrive early the following morning.

While thunderstorms are not uncommon here in early spring or late fall, the way we have experienced them this last week is unlike anything I have seen in my lifetime.  A low pressure system bounced between northern Oregon and southern British Columbia leaving us at the mercy of unstable air that fostered weather extremes all week long.

A week ago Friday night,  when this series of storms began,  a particularly fierce storm came through with the most unstable mass of air directly overhead. The sky exploded with light and sound as the extremes collided. The house shook to its foundation. Our ears rang with lasting tremors from being in direct proximity  of the electrical happening. Poor Sugar yelped and her serenity explode in that instant.

The storm hovered over our heads for over an hour before beginning to move on. Sugar's heart pounded out of her chest as strike after strike pummeled the area.  Her panting as worrisome as her thundering chest, I tried everything I could  to soothe her but nothing worked.

Delilah didn't look as traumatized but she had her own way of coping. She pooped in my room. I discovered that in the middle of the night. Both animals have been forever changed by Mother Nature's temper tantrum.

During the week long pattern of storms I discovered that Sugar's reaction was not a one time thing.  Even the sound of rain on the roof was triggering an episode.

I decided I would get something from the vet to help the dog should we have more storms directly overhead. However, a bad forecast left me thinking I had a day to get that done. By the time I realized a storm was coming our way the vet's office was long since closed.

As the rains poured Sugar's heart rate escalated so I ended up searching the web for something that might help even though I knew I should not be on the computer. I don't really like self medicating so I was very cautious but did find something useful. A post by a vet suggested putting the dog in a remote room(where outside light couldn't get in) and turning the radio up loud enough to drown out the storm. This vet also said it was safe to give melatonine to dogs and provided a dosage appropriate for Sugar. In addition to that I put a cold cloth on her since she appeared to be over heating from all the panting.

By the time I finally got to bed, Sugar was much calmer and actually resting. The storm had moved through but another one was not far behind. I figured I needed to sleep while I could.

Between hot flashes, lightning strikes, thunder and a leak in my roof I did not get much slumber. When the worst of the next storm hit I got up to check on Sugar only to find our power was out.

Dave had to work and I worried about his safety even getting there with the thunder cell right over us. Sugar got more melatonine and we turned the radio on to find out what the situation was with the storm and our power.

Flipping through the stations, I couldn't find anything about our weather. The bits and pieces of conversation  I was hearing slowly began to sink in. Any news I was getting seemed to be special coverage. Something unusual must have happened.

Trying to put together the details as I strained to hear the radio over the conversation in the room was slow in coming. My brain just did not want to compute how a midnight Batman screening could relate to the serious tone I was reading in professional voices on my radio.

Finally I asked those talking around me to cease, signaling with my hands I needed to hear. Something bad had happened. A feeling of helplessness washed over me and the blood drained from my face as reality sank in. How could that community be suffering another such senseless act of violence?

Stuck with only the meager details and mindless chatter of talk radio for information, I tried to glean what details I could. Such an aberration of evil is impossible to comprehend with nothing but the disjointed conversation of stunned commentators. How was I to make sense of Batman, Columbine and our own, Cafe Racer which had happened just weeks ago with nothing but radio chatter for validation?

The events of the last year have left me with a sense of powerlessness that I can not explain. Added to it the insane acts of violence perpetuated in my own community in recent months have left their own impression on my psyche.

 Josh Powell's blowing up himself with his two innocent sons happened a few miles north of here. The deranged killing of a park ranger occurred at Paradise just a few miles south. Next came the senseless murder in my county of Trooper Tony Radalusko. Followed by the massacre at Cafe Racer that left six dead in a day long killing spree that washed Seattle in blood from stem to stern just seven weeks ago.

 All this violence in one community seems impossible, yet it is here. It shakes me to the core and threatens my serenity. I want to hide out in the barn and never come out.

I find myself wondering if evil has somehow taken over my community. Then this new tragedy seems to say the world has gone completely nuts. How does one make sense of all of this?

Our power was out for most of the day and the thunderstorms didn't let up until late in the afternoon. With the help of the melatonine Sugar did better but I sat glued to the radio trying to glean what I could, struggling with those feelings of powerlessness.

I was relieved when the power came back because I could see for myself what others were talking about.   The ironies that this tragic event happened just a few miles down the road from Columbine where the first mass killing rocked our world in the early 90s and on the very day that Cafe Racer reopened after the mass murder there seven weeks ago did not escape me. Life can be so unfair but these ironies seemed more than anyone should have to endure. Victims re-victimized purely because of timing and proximity. My heart breaks.

As I began to understand the story unfolding before me the shock and horror began to set in. I found myself glued to the TV trying to understand the progression of things like somehow that would make the insanity make sense. I watched faceless victims become real, human faces reeling in the aftermath of the collision of their lives with a madman.

I am a person driven to action by misfortune. The way I cope with powerlessness is to take get to work. I do not know how to sit and wait but that's what I was forced to do. The only thing at my disposal, prayer........for the victims, their families, the community.....and the rest of us who find ourselves struggling with the reality there ate those among us who strive to perpetuate their evil upon the innocents around them. For now, it is better than nothing but I can't help feeling there must be something more I can do.

What do you do to cope with such tragedy?