Sunday, September 12, 2010

The Face of Homeless..........a Little Collateral Benefit......

Part 1

I'd mentioned my first real concerns about what I might do with strange people living in my backyard had more to do with being embarrassed I might get caught fighting with Dave than anything having to do with our guests. Those thoughts were not just fleeting for me. I had real concerns about looking like a shrew because sometimes that's exactly how I feel.

Dave has never been particularly motivated about anything except his job. Being out of work for nearly two years now has taken its tole on his self esteem and his motivation. Having a normal conversation with the man to get my point across sometimes just isn't easy. With all the things there are to do around here, I've resorted to being that shrew more times than I care to count. It is not something I am proud of, it's also not something I have figured out how to avoid.

I talked to Dave about my concerns and he just laughed. He told me he would be on his best behavior so I didn't need to worry. Having heard promises about "his best behavior' before, I was worried. It turns out that I was not the only one that was worried about such issues.

I can imagine how stressful it must be to be homeless. I also know that stress is probably the number one reason that Dave and I fight. I hadn't even thought that our guests might be as concerned about fighting around us as we were about them. Yet that was exactly the case.

I think it was only the second day that this family was here that I confessed my concerns to J. The woman almost instantly laughed. Then she confessed she had the same concerns and those concerns had been the first thing she thought of when I first extended my invitation.

We both laughed maybe at ourselves and maybe at our personal situations. No one really likes to admit that there are things about their relationships that are not good, let alone to strangers.

We made a pact then and there on that spot. I would turn a blind ear to her fights with T and she would turn a blind ear to mine with Dave. I think we both giggled like a couple of school girls. We were both relieved not to have to worry about this anymore. At least it was out in the open and we knew we were on the same page. There was a high five thrown in at the end to cement our pact.

I think just talking about the situation relieved some of the stress for me. Dave did manage his best behavior for a while a least and maybe I figured out how to be a little more tolerant. Either way we've managed not to fight "much" with people living in our back yard and Dave actually managed to get a couple of things done that I've been begging for months. I doubt this new trend will carry through for long, however, winter is fast approaching and the list of things to wrap up is growing as we speak.

To be continued...................

The Face of Homeless......A Departure.....

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  1. My husband was out of work for four months and it was unbelievably hard on both of us. I can't imagine two years! I know kinda how you feel though.

  2. I have a bit of the same issue with Mr. Fry. He starts things and they sit, sometimes for years, before they get finished.

    It's very hard on them to be out of work. I know when Mike was off, he got a bunch of stuff done around here.

  3. Thats funny and sweet at the same time .Worried about fighting with your spouse is exactly why I avoid staying with family on holidays.we don't fight a lot , but I alsways feel like a jerk when we do

  4. The high five is humorous. I got into a sticky situation when I started taking a class taught by the wife of one of my coworkers. She held up the first 15 minutes of class by complaining about how lazy and uncooperative her husband is around the house. I felt the same way about him at the office, but had to keep my mouth shut. I wasn't sure if admitting that her husband is a bum would make the situation better or worse. That man has driven me crazy for well over ten years and I still have to work with him and suffer through the consequences of his inaction.

  5. I can't imagine my husband being out of work for two years! Sometimes after a long weekend I am more then ready for him to go back to work! ha!

    That was good that you and your guest made a pact, you'll both feel better about it now and turn a blind eye to anything that is going on. Or should I say a blind ear!

  6. Men seem to take it especially hard when they are out of work. It certainly can strain a relationship. I know, my husband and I lost several jobs over the years. Just never give up hope ...