Friday, February 27, 2009

Friday Funnies - - Rules of the Barn

1. I am human. You are horse. What I say goes. Please take that into consideration when you are standing on my foot.

2. Spilled grain is not "fair game", especially when it is spilled in another horse's stall. It still belongs to that particular horse. You have no reason to go in and eat it.

3. Poop does not need to be hidden. I clean your stall every day. I will Find it. Do not hide it.

4. I do not need your help when I clean the barn, nor do I need your supervision, or even your presence. I have been cleaning the barn and stalls ever since you lived here. I know what I am doing. Standing at the door staring at me, will not make me clean faster.

5. There is no need to go into the barn and help yourself to the feed. Meals Are given at specific times of the day -am and pm. There is a feed schedule. You know the schedule. I know you know the schedule. You know that I know that you know the schedule. There is no need to help yourself.

6. Water buckets are not toys. Neither is the gate, pitchfork, wheel barrow, whatever is in the wheel barrow, fence,
or the occasional dog.

7. The wheel barrow is there for a reason. Please do not try to move it while I am cleaning your stall.

8. Just because I go into the Barn doesn't mean you automatically get food. There is other stuff in the barn. Stuff you don't want. Like de wormer and fly spray , shots, medicine.

9. Sheath cleaning will NOT be anyone.

10. Water travels through the hose. If you are thirsty, do not stand on the hose. The water buckets will fill much faster.

11. Not everything has to be high drama. None of the following things will kill you: fly spray, plastic bags, balloons, hoses, chipmunks and other small rodents, or bright blue tarps.

12. Although I understand the need for you to go to the bathroom, it is not necessary to hold it in all day until the moment I finish cleaning you r stall and put away the wheel barrow.

13. Accidents happen. However, I'm not altogether sure you're not trying to kill yourself. Next time you decide to impale yourself on some sort of object, please try to do it when it's not hailing, midnight, the weekend, or Christmas.

14. While I appreciate your need to be clean, pooping in your water bucket does not make my job easier, and it deprives you of water. Please find a new spot.

15. Whinnying as loudly as you can in my face does not make me feed you any faster.

16. I have to wait patiently too while you are having your shoes tacked on. There is no need to bite me.

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  1. Truer words were never written - LOL!

  2. lol- Those are sage words of experience!

  3. LOL. Regarding #3, I did a post a while back on how clean my gelding is for leaving one or two neat piles, and how messy my mares are for kicking it all around and burying it. My husband recently said that he thinks it is the opposite. The mares are actually trying to be clean by hiding it, while my gelding is proud of his masterpieces and puts them on display for all to see.

    The sheath cleaning comment is hysterical... and waiting until the stall is clean to let loose of one's bladder. This could have been written specifically to my horses. I guess they are all alike in many ways.

  4. Those are so funny. Thanks for helping to start my weekend with a bit of humour!

  5. ROFL! Only funny because they are so true!!

  6. I like that horse. Of course I don't have to clean after that horse-lol!

  7. It's sad when you can relate to every, single point of those! Even sadder when you can relate to them and you've only worked in stables (barns) a few times, and that's enough for you to learn! =P

  8. To my horse: Thanks for all the times that you waited until you were sparkling clean and dry before rolling in the mud.

    All true!

  9. 12 is Crystal. She loves pooping in a clean stall. Precious will break a wall down to keep from messing in her stall.

  10. From my late horse I would like to add to number 10, if you grab the hose out of the paddock trough and run with it through the pasture, expect that at some point you will run out of hose...and it will not be good.

  11. LOL!! I love 3, 6 and 15 especially, but we all know they are ALL too true.

  12. So much truth -- and so funny! Thank you for my blog award. I'm a little late in picking it up by I hold it dear just the same.

    I also love your still photos. Those are awesome -- so full of power and every one of your horses is beautiful and glossy and clean.

    Hope the new puppy doesn't keep you up. She's very cute.