Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Rachel and Grandma and the Arabian Horse Crash and Burn! Part 3

Crash and Burn Part 1

In the meantime things were going to be awkward. Rachel and Colleen have six of my Arabian horses that they are caring for at the horse facility near their home. Those horses consist of two that are there for Rachel (Dandy and Hope) and then four that are there so I can ride even during difficult winter weather.

We made arrangements this fall for Rachel to clean their stalls and help me with the horses. I would school all six of the horses and give her lessons, which I was doing each day. In addition I would teach her everything I could about Arabian horses and their training. She would clean the stalls and exercise horses on the days I couldn't make it.

When this happened with Dandy, I didn't even want to look at Rachel let alone spend time with her. I was too angry about the Arabian gelding's situation. Combined with some of the other things that had been happening, I wasn't really sure which end was up in this Arabian horse relationship of ours. I didn't want to say something that I didn't mean. I care about my granddaughter but I also care about my horse.

A big part of this was how frustrated I felt with our communications. Rachel never tells me when she has a problem with me, even though I ask, instead she goes directly to her mom. Nothing ever gets worked out that way so things just pile up. It was only a matter of time before one of us exploded. How were we ever going to work through this problem without communicating. I had a lot to think about.

I'd been trying to talk to Colleen about the problems that happen because she allows or places herself in the middle. I'd even heard her complaints that she really doesn't want to be there. I hoped that we would be able to remove this obstacle. Yet given the opportunity, especially with all three of us in one location, Colleen couldn't help herself but jump right smack dab in the middle of things.

This whole thing was confusing for everyone and affecting some things with the horses as well as our relationships. It really wasn't going well but how to get it fixed seemed to be as illusive as getting Rachel to talk with me.

I'm sure that Rachel has no way of understanding how her communication or lack of it has affected things. I believe that she thinks I have been overly picky but that is only a guess. She has actually never said those words to be. Without my input on why things are important, she's never gotten a chance to see my side to things. Instead it gets all muddled up with the interpretations of someone in the middle. I know how that works.....not very well.

All of this stuff is really at the root of this problem with Dandy. So I was really worried about how I was going to deal with going to the barn. I wasn't ready to talk to Rachel, mostly because I expected not to be heard. I had no intentions of glossing this over, it needed to be dealt with for the horse's sake and it was up to me to figure out a way to actually get through to Rachel.

At first I worked the horses early in the morning so that I was definitely done before Rachel would come to the barn after school. Between that and weekend commitments, I was getting a chance to cool off but still hadn't come to a conclusion about what specifically to do.

Then life jumped in and intervened, not in a way you would expect. I got sick. Not sick enough to be in the hospital, although some suspected that I should. Sick enough to not be able to go to the barn for sure. I tried a few times but I coughed so hard I thought I was going to blow my head off. I had to stay away or get even sicker.

It was probably a good piece of interference by life. It gave me time to think and figure out what to do. Sorting my way through this problem didn't happen over night, neither did me getting well, but I finally formed a plan, or an idea of one anyway.

First off, I wrote a letter to Rachel telling her how I feel and why. I explained to her the way I see things and what I see that's getting in her way. I explained about the gift that I have given her and how it feels to have it be treated so poorly. I explained what would have to change before she would ever ride my horse again. And I explained what it was going to take for me to believe that she had indeed changed.

I worked hard on that letter. I wanted to be clear and fair to Rachel as well. I wanted her to be able to understand my point of view. I wanted it to be absolutely clear what I will be expecting of her. That letter is five long pages but still has not been delivered to Rachel.

As usual there must be complications, this whole thing was happening over quite a period of time. While I was home being sick and figuring out how to deal with things, Rachel was at the barn taking care of my horses. Part of the time she was lunging them and part of the time turning them out. Nonetheless she was taking care of them when I could not.

This caused it's own set of conflicts. I wanted to give Rachel credit for caring for the horses while I was down. But I didn't want to overlook how she had treated Dandy. And for that matter, I was worried by the fact she had missed something as serious as Storm's splint with what seemed like little concern. How to keep all of these things in balance was going to have it's own set of problems.

To be continued...............

The Last of Crash and Burn

Visit Blog Village and vote daily for this blog Here They are now measuring the rankings by votes out, so if you find my blog on the site, please click that link too to improve my rankings. TY


  1. Hey, just so you know, if you ever wanted to come to my horse's boarding facility, and show me and teach me everything you know about Arabian horses, and schooled me, and worked with me and my Dandy, I'd be taking notes, and soaking up the information like a sponge! and I think I would learn very fast. Just so you know.

  2. Dealing with teenagers is very difficult ... looking forward to the next instalment and hope it is positive. ((Hugs))


  3. Woohoo you are back up to No. 1 on blog village thanks to three recent visitors ... keep it up people, this is definitely the best site (other than our own of course LOL).


  4. Thanks for stopping by. Your horses are so lovely. I'll *some* one day!

  5. I continue to vote!

    What is lunging?

  6. kim, yes, I'm sure you'd be glad to have a mentor but I'm afraid the commute to your barn is a bit much for me. lol but thanks for the vote of confidence.

    lori, some teenagers can be difficult, that's for sure.

    As for blog village, I have't a clue what's going on there today. lol

    Flanboyant Eats, thanks for stopping in.

    kahless, thanks for voting. Lunging is exercising a horse on about a thirty foot long rope. The handler stands in the center and the horse walks, trots and canters both directions on the end of that line.

  7. Yes, teenagers sometimes have a different set of priorities. Oh those immortal words, "You don't get it!". If I had a nickle for all the times I heard that..LOL. Again, waiting for the next installment as well.......

  8. If your going to the Puyallup fair grounds this year, then my family and I (well especially I) would LOVE to meet you!! :) and I'd LOVE to come meet you and your horses this year!! that would be so exciting!! cause I bet I could learn so much just from meeting you and your horses. And of course watching you with your horses.

    I'd also be ecstatic. I wish you could come see me and my Dandy once a week, or at least once a month. But I also wish we lived closer too! like, it's funny how life can out so well, and how other times, it just doesn't work out at all. Anyways, are you going to show any horses this year? if so, you should let me know when you'd be at the fair grounds this year at the Puyallup fair grounds. That would be awesome!

    see how ecstatic I am just talking about the possibility of meeting you are your horses?