Special Day

Today is a special day here. It is our 35th anniversary. As I reflect upon that fact I can't help but think of all that means and all that we have been through as a couple. We've certainly been through a lot of things in that time and it hasn't always been easy. I've even had times I found myself wondering "why" we were still hanging in there. Nothing speaks louder to that than an incident that happened at the hospital just before I came home.

They were busy making preparations for me to be discharged from the hospital. Because of my condition included in those plans were some pretty ugly care issues that needed to be addressed for me to be discharged (my newly acquired ostomy AND two pretty ugly open wounds). There were an assortment of difficult issues affecting my ability to do these things myself but there had to be a responsible adult willing to take on that care if I was to go home.

I didn't even think twice about volunteering Dave for the ugly duty. I think the professionals thought I was nuts but my husband had no qualms and willingly stepped forward to take on the responsibilities.

I remember on that last days as the wound nurse and her student scurried around my bed helping, which was more like scrutinizing, Dave in these new duties, the student said to him, "This sure isn't anything you signed on for." I know she didn't mean anything by it. It was just a reflection of the difficulty of the tasks being asked of him. I had signed Dave up for some pretty tough duty.

Without hesitation Dave responded to her comment, "Sure I did. In sickness and in health, in good times and in bad" You bet I did." He went back to cleaning out the gaping hole in my abdomen as competently as if he was himself a professional.

No one really said anything after his response. Tears rolled silently down my cheeks and my chest swelled with pride for this gentle man I married all those years ago.

It doesn't really matter what comes next. With a commitment like that I'm sure we'll figure out how to get through it. In the meantime we're celebrating the fact we still have each other and hoping for another 35 down the road.

Alive........Really, I Am..

I thought I should post something before you all began to think that maybe Dave was spinning yarns and I really hadn't survived. Considering the kind of patient I have been I wouldn't blame the man at all for disposing of me and maybe burying me out behind the barn.

The poor guy had enough to do before I got sick without having to take on caring for me as well. I don't know if my recovery is going along at the rate that HE expected but I can sure tell you it's not happening at the rate that I expected.

They (the powers that be, doctors etc) keep telling me it will be a long slow recovery but I just don't want to believe that. Although you might think since about all I seem to be able to do is sleep, sleep and sleep some more with a little bit of eating thrown in, you would think I would have gotten the picture by now.

Dave is not complaining but as you can see, I am really not happy with the current situation. I am dying to be hands on with my horses again and I can't even get to the barn by myself at this point. I have to be content with the sounds of horses and an occasional glimpse of them in the field I manage to get on the way to or from appointments.

With Dave's help, I did get out to the boys barn one day. I actually got to smell the glorious creatures and as I first walked into the barn I realized how much I had missed that smell. Then I even got to caress some muzzles but I couldn't help but notice their tangled manes. It broke my heart. I wanted so badly to fix them but my body just isn't going to accommodate that for some time ane there are just not enough hours in the day for Dave and Lindsay to be able to do that job too. I so feel for them as they try carry my weight too.

Of course, the horses don't really care about their tangled manes. They were happy to see me and clearly voiced that. It did my heart good to know they had missed me, maybe even as much as I have missed them. Hopefully there will be more trips to the barn coming soon but Dave has been so busy trying to get all of his stuff done AND take care of me, I hate to ask. I'm hoping I will be strong enough to get there on my own soon. In the meantime, I'll be stewing over those tangled manes and plotting to get them remedied.

MiKael is feeling better each day and thanks everyone for their messages. She hopes to be blogging soon. Dave