Sunday, February 7, 2010

Life........and Its Lessons

Part 1

The easiest thing about horses is the horses themselves. The difficult part is the people that surround them. I hear lots of comments about the horse community and its people and most of them are not good. There seems to be this blanket acceptance by many that horse people are not worthy of trust and its reasonable to expect getting scr*wed if one participates.

I prefer to believe that horse people are like all other people. There are good ones and bad ones. I don't think we have any more than our share of the bad people despite the political bull and the unscrupulous ones that are out there. Just because I bump into those less desirable situations from time to time doesn't mean I want to blame the industry. Individual people and their principles are the reason, not the horse industry.

The thing that puzzles me about the industry and this notion is the unspoken rule we don't talk about what goes bad. Despite the belief of many that horse people cannot be trusted, many of those very people will support the notion of not talking. The belief is if a person talks badly about trainers, breeders, buyers, you name it, it will only hurt the person who does the talking.

Anyone who regularly reads this blog knows I am not a proponent of this concept. I believe we need to share what difficulties we have so others might learn from them. This industry will never get "better" if those doing the wrong aren't held accountable for their actions. Speaking out is the first step in accountability.

I have been criticized and even warned for posting about my less than favorable experiences with others. I have also been thanked for it. I'm glad to see that at least some are appreciative of my speaking out. As for those that say I will pay, I am undaunted by such threats. The horse industry's dirty little secrets will continue to be pitfalls unless they are out in the open. I refuse to enable such things.

While I have posted about a number of issues I've encountered in the industry, I have not posted about a few others. Up to this point I have kept a buffer of sorts in place determining what I talked about and what I didn't. I have decided it's only fair to my readers to let them know that buffer has been there.

That buffer had to do with how close the involved parties were to me. It also seems to be situational. I have posted about some difficult things close to me.......but I have definitely left out others as I struggled trying to figure out how I would tell the story. Honestly, I have reacted some to fear of repercussions.

With recent events being what they are, I can see my use of this buffer is about to be tested. I find it extremely difficult to write when an elephant is in the room.........if you get my drift. The current situation affects my life so profoundly it is hard to separate it from my every day life. That means I either stop blogging or...........I spill the beans.

I have decided that I will not let the behavior of others prevent me from blogging. As for spilling the beans, I've also decided I will probably do that too at some point. First I will address the generalities of those things I've avoided posting up to this time. I would like my readers to understand some of the pitfalls I've encountered and the lessons I have learned.

To be continued.............


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  1. "The easiest thing about horses is the horses themselves. The difficult part is the people that surround them."


  2. Uh oh. Trouble in paradise.
    But you should be safe with us, at least most of us.
    I can't quite figure out who the foal is in the picture. No markings from what I can see.

  3. I think you're right--unless somebody talks about the pitfalls of being in the horse business, nothing is going to improve.

    On the other hand, the backlash you might get after talking could be bad for you and your horses.

    I guess what I'm trying to say is that I will support your decision either way.

  4. There's always the good and bad in every sport or occupation. I've seen my share of both. Since I'm not in the breeding or showing of horses I don't have to deal with them anymore. But I know where you're coming from and I applaud you for taking anyone on who is less than, shall we say honest or moral, in their dealings with either humans or horses. These people just get away with anything they do because they have clout in the show world and everyone is afraid of them for fear they will be black listed at shows. How very small of them to act like spoiled children. Anyway I agree with you.

  5. Whistle blowing is always a danger to the blower. With the horses unable to speak for themselves, we humans have to do it for them. I have followed your blog for a while and admire your style and forthrightness. What I most admire is your desire to do the best for your horses. I would hope to do the same for my own, and sometimes it isn't always easy.
    Hang in there and do what your conscience will let you do and not do. Thank you.

  6. Your blog is the first thing I read when I log on in the mornings. Your Matter of Fact speaking keeps me interested. I rode the entire distance with you to and from Tulsa. You see, I usually travel alone too. My horses are my life - my husband doesn't share the love.
    Keep stating the facts and I will keep reading.
    I also have wondered what happened with, Brittany?? and the horse she purchased from you and had at the trainers.

  7. Would love to know who ALL the horses are in the photos you post! :)

  8. Mrs Mom, Sorry to say I knew you would relate.

    Molly, I guess you could call it that although it hasn't felt like paradise for a while.

    This is a baby pic of Dandy and a much younger version of me, no less. LOL I love this boy as much today as I did then only I sure can't hug him like that anymore.

    Katee, thanks for the vote of confidence. I realize there will be back lash, there always has. But anyone who knows me should know I am not afraid to deal with difficult situations. It's more important to me to do what is right than taking the easy way out.

    fernvalley01, unfortunately that is the case.

    Arlene, I'm hoping we will come to an amiciable solution in the current situation. However, that is yet to be determined.

    Bilum, thanks for commenting on t, I agree telling others dirty little secrets is always toughest on the teller. As a victim of childhood abuse who spoke out I know first hand what the price of telling can be.

    There isn't anyone in the horse industry who can deal me as much pain as what happened within my own family. I am up to the challenge. Keeping secrets is to remain a victim and I will never got back to that place.

    Connie, I have heard nothing from Brittany about Rhythm since I last posted she took him to a horse show last spring. Since then I have found no records at AHA of him having been shown. Other than that you know as much as I do. Sure wish they would keep in touch. I really miss that horse.

    DJ, sorry, I tend to forget about the names. The last post was Aana with Patriot at her side. He is now a coming three year old if you can believe it. And this one is Dandy with me way back when......19.5 years ago. LOL

  9. I wish you luck on this next leg of your journey. I know how many difficult things you have been through, and if anyone can get through this Mikael, it is you.

    Sorry I don't keep up on my blog anymore. Still have the horess, the farm, the husband and the girls, just added a job to top it off! (oh and another dog)

  10. Kathy C, It's good to hear from you. I think about you often. Miss your presence in the blogosphere.

    Thanks for the luck, I will probably need all the moral support I can get.

  11. Here, with all the support I can muster. I agree, we must speak for the horses, they have no voices in our world.

  12. in my experience, horse people are less likely to have good people skills. many barn owners and breeders i've know are downright antisocial and very difficult to communicate with. scarily i see this behavior in myself too - preferring to be alone rather than with people. this is why i'm dead set against having boarders at our place, i do not want to deal with people like me!: )